How to be a Parent
by DangerousRockstar
Summary: Shadow finds out that Amy's pregnant and has no idea what to do. Although, he hates kids and doesn't know how to take care of them. Well, leave it to Rouge, Sonic, and the others to teach him how to be a daddy! A new challenge awaits him...DISCONTINUED
1. A Valentine's Day Surprise!

*GASP* OMG, is this a new story? Yes it is! Anyway, it's been a while. I have so many tests this week, it's ridiculous. Although I should be able to do well on them without studying, if I'm lucky XD. Anyway, yes, it's another ShadAmy story. I would say that the main genres in this fic are Humor, Romance, Family, and a little bit of Drama. And before you ask about 'True Love' and 'Two Hearts, One Rose', I'm starting to come up with some ideas for chapter 12 of 'True Love', but I'm thinking about remaking 'Two Hearts, One Rose' already. Don't ask me why, I just have a feeling that I should make it better. Now that crap's outta the way, enjoy the first chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Amy Rose paced back and forth in the living room. Something was on her mind and it was making her edgy. For as long as she could remember, she's been pacing for about an hour now. A few times, she stopped to take a few deep breaths, but netherless, she continued to walk back and forth. Impatience was written all over her face.

"_Grr, what's taking him so long?"_ she said in thought. "_I've been trying to call his cell phone, but he won't answer. Maybe he's busy at work today. Still, he needs to know what's going on…But how should I tell him?" _she stopped pacing._ "I'm not sure how he will react. Would he be pleased with the news, or would he be unhappy about it? I don't know. I guess it's a worth of a try. Hopefully, he'll understand. After all, I am his wife, so I know he'll listen to me. Although, he's taking forever to come home today. What if he's…?"_ She shook her head with disbelief. _"No way. He wouldn't go mess around with other girls, I know that. Still, he is being rather slow today…Ugh, where the heck is he!?"_ she crossed her arms and tapped her left foot.

* * *

(Meanwhile…)

"Another day, another report to fill out", Shadow sighed tiredly as he glanced at his folder which held an empty report inside.

"C'mon, Shadow, it's not like it's going to kill ya or anything", his close friend, Rouge, replied as she had her arms behind her head. "I was able to finish mine earlier because I didn't fall asleep during lunch break."

"Hey, watch it. I work my ass off to support myself and my wife, ok?" the black hedgehog pointed at her gravely.

"You're so lucky that you get to spend time with someone you love", the white bat lowered her head a little. "I wish I had a man."

"Oh, don't worry, you'll get one", Shadow said supportively. "Just as long as you wear some appropriate clothing and keep your legs closed." He received a huge pound on the head. "Ow", he rubbed his bruise.

"Not cool, Shadow! Not cool!" the white bat snapped at him.

"I was just kidding."

"Whatever. Anyway, speaking of your wifey, did you know that today's Valentine's Day?" She continued walking with her eyes closed until she noticed she was hearing her own footsteps. "Hmm?" she stopped. "Shadow?" she looked back.

Silently, Shadow stood there in shock. Oh dear, could he have forgotten to get Amy a gift? Not only that, did he forget that Amy loves Valentine's Day besides Christmas and her birthday? If only he checked his calendar before he left this morning.

"Um, dude, are you ok?" Rouge waved a hand in his face.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier!?" Shadow yelled angrily as he grabbed hold of her shoulders and shook her like a maniac. "If I don't get Amy a gift, she'll kill me!" Out of the blue, he received a smack across the face. "Ow."

"Dude, calm down, before you make a scene", Rouge said seriously. "You still got time, so go to the store and get her a gift. Or call for a reservation at a restaurant. Or both!" she said with excitement.

"I guess I can do that", the dark hedgehog shrugged his shoulders. "See ya", he walks away to look for a nearby store.

"…Man, why can't I have a Valentine?" Rouge sighed depressingly. "Damn you Cupid, damn you", she glanced over at a Cupid sticker placed on a window.

And so, Shadow traveled through the town in order to find the perfect gift for Amy. Sure he could get flowers and candy, but he decided to get something different. He had to make sure that he'll get something that Amy will never forget. Suddenly, he noticed a sign on a window that read Valentine's Day Special! 50% off of any kind of jewelry!

"_Maybe I can get her a necklace. Yeah",_ Shadow pondered. He walked inside and noticed that the store was very crowded. Plus, he saw a couple of females fighting over a small box that probably kept an expensive gem inside.

"Security!" the clerk shouted out.

"Hey, hey, hey! Break it up, you two!" an overweighed security guard tried to get the two women separated.

"This Topaz ring is mine!" the brunette female yanked the box.

"No, mine!" the blonde female pulled it back to her madly.

While everyone else was staring at the scene, the black hedgehog decided to look around for the right gem. Still, he wasn't sure why women would fight over a rock. Oh well, it's hard for a guy to understand girls sometimes. One by one, the male hedgehog narrowed the list down from top to bottom. His only three options were Diamond, Emerald, and Ruby. Now he was getting irritated. Why was it so hard to find a freaking gem and get it over with? Unfortunately, Amy likes all three of them, so Shadow wasn't sure which one to get. An idea came up in his mind. Perhaps it's best to pick which gem is the cheapest and leave. The Diamond cost $250. The Emerald cost $185. Lastly, the Ruby cost $150. So the Ruby was chosen.

"Hey", Shadow turned to the brown haired clerk and snapped his fingers impatiently. "Pay attention here."

"Oh, um, um, yes, of course", the clerk stopped watching the fight and rushed to him.

"Ring it up", Shadow pointed to the Ruby.

"Um, yes, of course", the clerk pulled out a key and unlocked the case. "This?" he pulled out the necklace that had a heart shaped Ruby attached to it.

"Yes! This is perfect!" Silver came out of nowhere and snatched the necklace.

"You got five seconds to hand over that necklace", Shadow threatened in a demonic voice while his body was slowly glowing red.

"Oh, hey, Shadow. I didn't notice you there", the white hedgehog turned to him.

"1…"

"Um, why are you counting?"

"2…"

"You're starting to scare me."

"3…"

"Just give him the necklace! I'm too young to die!" the clerk begged Silver.

"4…"

"Ok, ok, here!" Silver held out the necklace frightfully. The black and red hedgehog cooled off and snatched the necklace in a flash.

"Come on, I don't have all day here", Shadow made his way to the counter.

"I hate my job", the clerk lowered his head with grief.

At last, Shadow was able to get the necklace and escaped from the crazed jewelry store. Even though that took some time, it wasn't enough. Maybe it's better to get two gifts instead of one. After all, this would be something new. Boy, won't Amy be surprised.

"I guess I'll get her a box of chocolates and go home", Shadow looked at his watch that read 4:45.

* * *

(Back at home...)

Since Amy got tired of waiting, she decided to wrap Shadow's gift and make some dinner. Every second that went by, her mind kept circling around the information that she received today. She never expected this to happen. How did this happen? Whenever Shadow gets home, they'll figure out everything. Taking her mind off from 'the big news', she finished making homemade spaghetti and lowered the temperature of the stove.

"Where the heck is he?" she murmured to herself. Right on time, her husband appeared in the living room by Chaos Control.

"God, I hate humans", Shadow complained.

"Shadow, you're home!" Amy said happily and gave him a hug. "I've been trying to call you all day."

"You did?" the black hedgehog looked down at her. He pulled out his cell phone. _"Crap. I had it off all day. Stupid meetings",_ he thought with annoyance. "Well, I'm home now, and uh, yeah, Happy Valentine's Day", he pulled up a sack.

"Ooh, lemme see!" Amy snatched the bag cheerfully and looked inside. "Aww… Chocolate hearts for me?" she held up a red box of heart-shaped chocolates. "And uh…No way", she pulled out a dark blue leather box. Shyly, she opened it and saw a golden necklace with a Ruby piece. "It's beautiful!" she smiled with joy.

"_You did well, Shadow",_ the black hedgehog patted himself on the back confidently. _"You did well."_

"Anyway, I got a gift just for you", his wife spoke.

"Where is it?"

"BRB", Amy walked to the kitchen.

"_BRB?"_ Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Tada!" the pink hedgehog quickly returned with a box.

"Hm", the black hedgehog took it and opened it. Inside was a silver watch. "Thanks, I needed one."

"Um, before we have dinner, I, uh, I have something to tell you", Amy took a step back nervously.

"What is it?"

"Well, I did try to tell you earlier, but you must've had your phone turned off. Um, remember that I've been having stomach aches and whatnot over the past two weeks?" The black hedgehog nodded. "Earlier today, I went to the doctor and found out something."

"I'm all ears."

"Shadow…I'm pregnant", Amy revealed the secret.

Silence circled around them as they stared at each other. Of course, Amy hoped that Shadow would be glad, but then again…neither one of them saw this coming. Raising an eyebrow, she pouted.

"Well? Aren't you going to give me a reaction or something-?" she placed her hands on her hips.

At that moment, Shadow's eyes rolled back in his head as he fainted backwards. All of his stuff fell on the floor with him.

"Not that kind of reaction, Shadow", Amy slapped her forehead with embarrassment.

* * *

LOL, at the end XD. Yep, looks like Shadow got his surprise for Valentine's Day, huh? And I can't believe that he fainted! LOL! And so, the story begins. What will happen next time? Will Shadow be happy about this? Or will he be upset? Find out next time! P.S., I don't own the characters, so don't sue me!! And one more thing, BRB means 'Be Right Back', if you don't know the texting world right now XD. R&R, thank you!


	2. He doesn't want it?

Le gasp! Another chapter has arrived! What will happen now? We shall find out! Remember, I don't own the characters!!

**

* * *

**

Chapter 2

Five minutes later, Shadow opened his eyes from his unconsciousness. He felt an ice pack on his forehead and took it off slowly. He sat up and realized that he was on the living room couch. Amy was sitting on the other end of the couch watching TV.

"You awake?" she asked.

"Oh, man", Shadow rubbed his head. "I just had the weirdest dream ever. I dreamt that I forgot to get your Valentine's Day gift, went to a crazy jewelry store, hurried up and got some chocolates, and then I came home, and you told me that you were pregnant."

"Um…About that Shadow", Amy fiddled with her fingers. "That wasn't a dream. It actually happened. You just fainted after I told you the news."

"So wait, are you REALLY pregnant?" the black hedgehog asked to make sure.

"Yes, Shadow, I am", his wife turned to him honestly.

"Oh." He fainted again.

"Please stop fainting."

"Ok, ok, I'm up. Anyway, what's for dinner?"

"Spaghetti."

"Very well", Shadow got up and went to the kitchen. "You coming?" he looked back at Amy.

"Yeah", she stood up and followed him.

During their meal, it was quiet. Well, except the fact that Shadow was sipping and slurping his spaghetti like no tomorrow. Amy, however, took her time with hers. It wasn't because of her manners. The main reason why was because her thoughts were on how he really felt about her being pregnant. She had to ask.

"Um, Shadow?"

"Hm?" the greedy hedgehog slurped another strand of spaghetti and swallowed it.

"I was just wondering…How do you feel…about…you know?" Amy tired to speak.

"…To be honest, I wasn't expecting this."

"Well, neither was I, Shadow."

"When's the last time we had sex?"

"Almost three weeks ago, on a Saturday night, two rounds."

"But I remembered to use condoms."

"Well, it could've been possible that one of them broke during our intercourse. It happens sometimes, you know."

"_Cursed condoms",_ Shadow squeezed his fork a little.

"So, um…What's on your mind? And please, be honest with me", Amy said sincerely.

'_Sigh'_, the dark hedgehog scooted back from the table a little. "Not trying to be mean, but I hate kids. You know I can't stand them."

"They're not that bad, Shadow."

"Remember the time when we had to baby-sit Charmy about three months ago?"

* * *

(FLASHBACK!)

"OH MY GOD, YOUR HOUSE IS SO COOL! I WANNA PLAY TAG! I WANNA PLAY HIDE 'N SEEK! OOH, OOH! LET'S PLAY SOME VIDEOGAMES! HEY, LET'S PLAY SIMON SAYS! OOH, OOH, OOH! HOW 'BOUT WE-!?" the hyper bumble bee zoomed around the room excitedly until Shadow grabbed hold of his head.

"Shut…up", the dark hedgehog threatened.

'_Gulp'_. "I'll be good", Charmy whispered with fright.

* * *

(END OF FLASHBACK!)

"I sorta remember that", Amy rubbed her chin. "But you never had any problems with Cream."

"Actually…" Shadow swift his eyes side to side uneasily.

* * *

(FLASHBACK #2!)

"Hello, Mr. Sonic! Nice day at the park, don't you think?" the cute peach colored rabbit asked with a smile.

"…" The black hedgehog turned to her coldly. "Do. I. Look. Like. Sonic?" he seethed through his teeth.

"Oh, um, s-sorry", Cream took a few steps back. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" she ran off as she cried with waterfall tears.

'_Sigh'_.

* * *

(END OF FLASHBACK!)

"And Tails?" the pink hedgehog had her arms crossed.

"Oh, you have no idea", her husband shrugged.

* * *

(FLASHBACK #3!)

It was a normal day at the Mystic Ruins as Shadow was walking through the area on his own. Suddenly, he saw a green glow that looked like a Chaos Emerald. Once he reached to it, he grabbed it, but someone else's hand grabbed it as well. He looked up to see that it was Tails who was trying to take it.

"Sorry, but I saw it first", the fox stated apologetically.

"Sorry, but I don't see your name on it", Shadow replied with no mercy. He tried to pull the Emerald away, but Tails wouldn't release it. "Let go."

"No, it's mine!" Tails yanked it back.

"Grr, you little pest!" Shadow repeated Tails' actions.

And so, they had a little tug-a-war scene. They growled, they yanked, and they kept on arguing about who should have the Emerald. Of course, Shadow had no time for this crap.

"Dammit, let go!" he threatened.

"Never!" the golden fox yelled rudely.

"Oh, great, there's a robot", Shadow stopped and looked ahead.

"What-?" Tails fell for his trick and looked back. He received a severe pound on the head and fell down unconscious.

"Little prick", Shadow murmured to himself.

* * *

(END OF FLASHBACK!)

"Well, I don't think it'll make any difference, Shadow", the pink hedgehog spoke. "After all, it'll be 'our' child, no one else's."

"Still…I don't think I'm ready for kids", the black and red hedgehog responded. "I love you and everything, but…now's not the time for us. We should wait a little longer."

Amy lowered her head disappointingly. Even though her pregnancy was unexpected, she hoped for a better reaction than this. It actually sounds like he doesn't want the child at all! After all, Amy did adore children and always wanted to have some. On the other hand, Shadow despises them and doesn't want to deal with them at all. Back then, they did talk about having kids, but of course, Shadow never felt ok about it. Still, what was Amy going to do with the child? The dark hedgehog saw the look on her face.

"Amy?" he spoke, breaking the silence.

"I'm ok, Shadow", Amy looked at him with a fake smile. "Really, I am", she got up and made her way to the bedroom. She was stopped when Shadow took a gentle hold of her arm.

"Come on, talk to me."

"No, no, forget about it."

Upsettingly, Amy pulled her arm away from Shadow's grasp and went the bedroom. With a few tears falling down from her cheeks, she closed the door. The whole apartment echoed with quietness once again. Shadow wondered if he said anything wrong that might've hurt her feelings. Was it that he didn't like kids and didn't want one at all? Perhaps he was being selfish. He remembered that Amy told him that she wanted kids someday, but he wasn't happy about that part of marriage. True he could've went out with another woman that didn't want kids, but he loved her. He couldn't see himself with anyone else but Amy. After all, they have been married for 4 years...

After cleaning everything up in the kitchen, Shadow walked to the bedroom door. Before he could've knocked on it, he heard a little bit of crying. Now he really broke her heart. And heck, he ruined their Valentine's Day for peace sakes! He lowered his hand as he sighed.

"Maybe he doesn't want to deal with this", Amy's cheerless voice could be heard on the other side of the door.

"Huh?" The black hedgehog placed an ear against it and listened cautiously.

* * *

(Inside the bedroom…)

"I was hoping that he would be ok with it, but I guess he doesn't want it", the pink hedgehog said over the phone as she sat up on the bed.

"Well, that's a jerk, for ya, Amy", Blaze's voice was heard on the other line. "Believe me, I know it."

"Still, I've been knowing him for about 10 years now. I thought we understood each other."

"See, that's why I'm glad I'm not married."

"Not helping."

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry. Anyway, what are you going to do with it?"

"One thing for sure, I don't wanna do abortion", the pink hedgehog brushed her bangs to the side. "And I definitely don't want to give it up for adoption. Still, I don't think he wants it."

"So you're going to take care of it on your own?"

"I can't do it by myself."

* * *

By the tone of her voice, Shadow's eyes widened as his heart skipped a beat. What has he done? Thanks to his selfish attitude, he's causing her some pain. Although, she did say that he could be honest about his thoughts. Maybe he was being brutally honest about having children. There was no way he was going to watch her struggle to take care of their child. If something like that would've happened, then they might have to get a divorce. No, he didn't want that. He clenched a fist angrily, feeling angry with himself.

"_How could I've been so selfish and stupid?"_ he thought with frustration.

* * *

"I do love him, but I'm not sure if…" Amy tried to hold back her tears.

"You want me to come over there and kick his ass?" Blaze asked. "After all, I've beaten up some guys before."

"No, it won't be worth it. Plus, you could get in trouble for that."

"Pfft, whatever. Anyway, I think it's time for you to focus on yourself, Amy. After all, you've done everything for him, and he's not showing his appreciation."

"Still…He's my first."

"But he's not your last, Amy. I can hook you up with Silver, since I don't wanna date a stalker like him."

"No, it's fine. You don't have to do that."

"I'm not kidding. Just please take him in so he can leave me alone."

"No thanks, he's not my type."

* * *

"_What?"_ Shadow felt another skipped heartbeat. _"No, she's not thinking about…"_

* * *

"But seriously, you should find somebody who would appreciate you and respect your dreams", Blaze advised her good friend. "Heck, he should've known that you two were going to have kids sooner or later."

"I…" Amy barely spoke as she wiped some tears. "I don't know what to do."

"Tell you what, why don't you sleep on it and we'll chat again tomorrow?" Blaze suggested. "It's almost time for my favorite show after all."

"Lemme guess, The Bachelor."

"Oh, hells yeah! Anyway, if anything else comes up, let me know, ok?"

"Sure. You're a good friend, Blaze."

"Eh, no problem. Well, get some rest ok?"

"I will. G'night."

"Night-night." After that comment, Blaze hung up.

Amy turned off the phone and sighed. Then she laid back on the bed and turned to the side sadly. Her heart was in pain. She didn't want anything like this to happen. If only Shadow could understand her better. No, if only he accepted the fact that they were going to become a family.

* * *

Shadow had his back against the door with his head down. He felt like he failed to make Amy happy. He caused her sadness in her heart all because he didn't want to have kids. Whatever he said must've upset her deeply. Family hood must be very important to her now it seems. Hopefully, she wasn't thinking that it was her fault that she got pregnant. No. She shouldn't blame herself. Accidents do happen. Right now, Shadow had to figure out a way how to talk to her.

"_I'm sorry…Amy",_ he thought sorrowfully.

* * *

Aww, so sad, I know. What will happen next time? Can they stay together and work this out? Or will they have to go on their separate ways? Find out next time! R&R please! Not kidding guys, I'm starting to cry now. *Sniff* Where's my tissue?


	3. What lies Ahead

Yay, it's almost Halloween, peoples! Ok, so this week has been crazy because I took so many tests, but I think I did pretty well on all of them. Go me! Take that you evil tests! MUHAHAHAHA!! o.0 Um, ahem, sorry about that. Also, I've been totally excited by the fact that Tekken 6 (it's a new fighting game) is finally out in stores! Oh, sweetness to the max! Yes, I'm a Tekken fan. But anyway, hope you enjoy this new chapter!

**Chapter 3**

* * *

An hour went by for the two troubled hedgehogs. There was nothing but quietness. Amy was sleeping in the bedroom while Shadow was sitting in the living room thinking to himself. Usually, they would talk to work some things out, but now…this seemed different. There was so much space between the two. Why? It all because of the outcomes of having a child. Well, it seemed as if Shadow was the one that caused this disconnection between them. Now he feels like he should apologize to her and hopefully try to look forward to having his first child. He may not know how to take care of kids or like them, but perhaps he should take the opportunity to learn before his child comes to this world. That way he could change for the better.

"_It's now or never",_ Shadow said in thought. He stood up from the couch and walked into the bedroom noiselessly. His wife was still resting on the bed with her front body facing a wall. He could tell that she was still saddened over his words. Looks like he has a lot of apologizing to do. Gathering up his courage, he walked to the other side of the bed and shook his wife's shoulder.

"Hmm?" Amy opened her eyes slowly.

"Let's talk", the black hedgehog replied. Amy sat up and scooted over a little, letting him take a seat next to her.

"What is it?" the pink hedgehog asked.

"Amy…_'Sigh'_…I'm sorry", Shadow apologized with sincerity.

"Oh…About earlier?" Amy swift her eyes to the side.

"Yes", Shadow nodded. "I didn't mean what I said, but I had to be honest with you. Still, I didn't know that it would hurt your feelings. It's true that you want to have a family, but I have a feeling that I won't be a great father to our child."

"Why do you say that?" the pink hedgehog turned to him.

"Believe me, I can't stand kids. And I don't know how to take care of one. What if I don't do a good job taking care of it? And…what if it doesn't like me?"

"I see…" Amy rubbed her chin. "So you were just worried about how it would be like in the future. Then why didn't you say that before?"

"I guess I wasn't thinking straight", her husband sighed. "Not only that, but I didn't want to disappoint you. One thing for sure, I don't want us to ever separate. I'll be there for the child."

Those words made Amy's eyes widen a little. Did he really mean that? Was he really going to stand by her side and help her with their child? Even though Shadow doesn't know how to take care of children or to get along with them, Amy thinks that he should take some time to learn more about them and maybe he'll be a little nicer around them. But would Shadow want to take that challenge?

"Do you really mean it?" the female hedgehog asked him. He nodded. "Oh, Shadow, I knew I could count on you!" she wrapped her arms around his neck with joy.

"Hm", the dark hedgehog smiled a little as he took his wife's right hand gently.

"But…In order to show me that you'll keep your promise, you have to take some time to learn how to take care of children, being friendly to them, and how to control yourself when you're around them", Amy pointed out.

"…_Great",_ Shadow thought as his left eyebrow was twitching.

"But hey, you only got nine months, so you should have plenty of time", Amy released him. "And once the baby's born, you'll be a great father to it."

"You think so?" Shadow looked at her.

"I know so", Amy nodded. "You can do it, Shadow. I believe in you." A small confident smile appeared on Shadow's face.

* * *

(Later that night…)

"Lame", Amy yawned as she flipped the channels on the television. She was already in her long badge colored gown and had her hair tied up in the back. "Lame", she said again and then turned to a channel that showed some clowns throwing pie at each other. "Lame again", she flipped the channel and ended up watching a dating show. "Nope", she continues to turn the channels. All of the sudden, she felt Shadow's hand on the remote and watched him turn off the TV. "What's up?"

"You know today's Valentine's Day, right?" Shadow asked seductively as his fingers tip toed up to her right shoulder.

"Wait, you're not thinking about-" Amy blinked.

"Oh, yes, I am", the dark hedgehog takes hold of the cover and pulls it over them. Out of the blue, some random sexy jazz music was being played.

"Ooh, Shadow, you wild animal!" the pink hedgehog giggled as the cover moved because of their 'little' activity. Her husband purred like the bad boy he is. "Hee-hee-hee, Shadow, that tickles!" she giggled again.

"Oh, we're just getting started, baby", Shadow said with lust as they stopped. Unfortunately, their love moment was interrupted when the doorbell rang. "GRRR!!! HOW DARE THEY DISTURB US AT THIS TIME!" he pulled the cover off of them with fury.

"Shadow, calm down", Amy pulled her gown's strap back up to her shoulder.

"I'll be right back", the angry hedgehog got out of bed and walked out. He stomped to the front door and opened it. In front of him, the Chaotix were dressed up as girl scouts. A sweatdrop formed on Shadow's left eye temple.

"Hi, wanna by some cookies?" Charmy held up a box of oatmeal cookies.

At that moment, the dark hedgehog slammed the door, locked it, and then blocked it with any furniture he could find. Next, he made sure that the window was locked, closed the curtains and then ran back to the bedroom. He slammed the door and placed his back against it as he sighed.

"Shadow, what's going on?" Amy asked.

"It's that damn Chaotix crew", Shadow seethed through his teeth frantically. "They've came up with another scam to steal our money."

"Well, you didn't have to slam the door at them-"

"Crap, the window!" the black hedgehog realized that the bedroom window wasn't closed. Speedily, he rushed to it, closed and locked it, and then pulled the curtains together. "Ok", he panted. "I think we're good", he made his way back to bed.

"Um…" the pink hedgehog sweatdropped. "Okay…?"

"So", Shadow went back to his erotic ego as he got on top of her. He snapped his fingers and the background music came back on. "Where were we?" he lifts up his beloved's chin with a finger. They were interrupted again as they heard the bushes shaking and a pair of familiar voices arguing with each other. "GRRRRRR!!" the dark hedgehog looked at the window fiercely. "Are you kidding me?!"

"I think they're trying to peep on us, Shadow", the pink hedgehog gasped as she covered her chest with her arms.

"I guess I have to use Plan B on them, do I?"

"Just don't kill them, Shadow."

(Meanwhile, outside the bedroom window…)

Vector and Charmy had their faces glued to the window, wondering what was going on in there. Espio slapped his forehead with embarrassment. Why in the world did he agree to this kind of crap? Better yet, why were those two trying to see what Shadow and Amy were doing? It seems that they're acting like peeping toms now. He really didn't want this to happen. Heck, don't these guys ever sleep? Is that all they do is trying to trick people into giving them money?

"Guys, why the hell are you trying to peep inside their home?" Espio asked with impatience and humiliation.

"Shh!" Vector whispered. "We're keeping an eye on Shadow in case something happens."

"Say, Vector, why do you think that adults like to be alone in their bedrooms?" the curious bumble bee asked.

"Well, Charmy", the lime green crocodile began to explain. "When a man and a woman love each other-"

"No!" the chameleon held out a hand to stop him. "He's too young!"

"Aw, I won't give him any details."

"Still-"

"Would you guys be quiet? They might hear us", Charmy whispered with annoyance.

"Gee, you think?" Espio rolled his eyes sarcastically. All of the sudden, he hears the front door being slammed open. "Oh, crap", he did a quick hand sign and then turned invisible. He then takes off.

"Hey, where'd he go?" Charmy looked around.

"Chicken heart", Vector muttered as he took his face off the window. "C'mon, let's go", he turns to his left and starts walking.

"Okie-dokie!" the bee buzzes behind him.

Before they could've made their escape, Shadow appeared out of nowhere with a large weapon in his hands. Vector stopped and gulped fearfully. Charmy bumped into him and rubbed his nose. He looks over the boss's shoulders and then gulped.

"Oh, um, uh, heya, Shadow", the crocodile began to sweat. "How's it going?"

"What's that big thingy?" the bumble bee pointed to the huge object in Shadow's hands.

"It's called a bazooka", says Shadow as he got down on one knee and placed his weapon on his right shoulder.

"W-W-Wait, what are you doing?" Vector asked atrociously as he and Charmy began to move backwards.

"Run", Shadow pointed his bazooka towards them.

Momentarily, Vector and Charmy took off in the opposite direction as they screamed in fear. Because Shadow only had one missile, he didn't want to miss. With great luck, he had those two locked on. He launched the missile and waited to see what happens next. The two 'peeping toms' were still running for their lives as they continued screaming. They looked back and noticed a missile coming at them.

"OH SHOOT!" both of them gasped with fright. A quick second later, the missile blew them up to the sky. "LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!!!!" they flew all the way up until they became specks in the sky.

"Hmph", Shadow stood up and blew the smoke off of the tip of his weapon. "Amateurs." Now that the job was done, he walked back in his home, made sure everything was clean and safe, hid his bazooka in his weapons closet, and then locked the front door. "Finally", he sighed as he rubbed his shoulder. Remembering where he and Amy had left off, he tip toed back to the bedroom. He took one peek inside and noticed that she was fast asleep. _"Oh, good freaking grief",_ he slapped his forehead.

* * *

LLLLOOOLLLL, what a hilarious chapter! And yay, Shadow and Amy have worked things out! But what will happen next time? What lies ahead for our favorite dark hero? We shall soon find out! And bad Vector and Charmy! That's what you get! =D Oh, I almost forgot, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! WEEEEEEEE!!!!!


	4. Everybody Knows

Hey, guys, what's up? Yeah, Halloween's over sadly. I had a lot of fun last night! I went over to my friend's house and hung with her and some other friends, and we went to see Saw VI. OMG, THAT MOVIE'S GORY! But I liked it. Pretty good suspense if you ask me. Now that Halloween's over, I'm already for Thanksgiving. Yum-Yum! =) Ok, here's the next chapter! R&R, thanks! One more thing, I don't own the characters.

**

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Chapter 4

The next midday, Shadow was rushing to get his report filled out. Because he was preoccupied last night, he completely forgot to do it. Once he got done, he closed his folder and sighed. Now he won't have to worry about getting in trouble. The last thing he needed was a lecture from the commander. While waiting for his lunch break, he pulled out his cell phone and began to calculate how many missed calls and text messages he had. He had 40 missed calls and 20 text messages!

"_Wow",_ Shadow sweatdropped. He began to delete one message at a time.

"Hey, Shadow!" Rouge walked in without knocking.

"Jesus!" the dark hedgehog jumped a little and dropped his phone. "Don't you know how to knock?"

"Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Mr. Grumpy Pants", Rouge crossed her arms. "All I wanted to do was to say hi to you."

"Yeah, hi. Now go away. I'm busy", Shadow continued to delete some messages.

"What are you doing?" Rouge went to his desk.

"None of your business."

"Are you playing a game?"

"No."

"Are you downloading porn?" The black hedgehog stopped fiddling with his cell phone and gave her a death glare.

"No", he looked away with a small red blush.

"Lemme see", the white bat snatched his phone away.

"Hand it over, Rouge", Shadow warned her. "I am not playing with you."

"Why, cause you wanna finish downloading some porn?"

"Dammit, Rouge, I am not downloading any porn!" Most of the black hedgehog's face was red.

"Sure, sure, that's what they all say", Rouge continued to mess around with his phone. She came across a text message that made her eyes widen. "Holy…freaking…crap."

"What?" Shadow blinked.

"Oh, my gosh! I didn't know that Amy was pregnant!" Rouge showed him the text that read **I'M PREGNANT** in the center. "Congratulations!"

"Yeah, thanks, now give it back", the dark hedgehog snatched his phone away.

"So how do you feel?"

"Well…It's hard to say. It just happened out of nowhere."

"So you're shocked?"

"That and I'm not sure how it's going to work out."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I hate kids." Rouge started laughing. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Oh, Shadow, don't be silly. I mean, yeah, there are some misbehaved children, but they're all not that bad. But you shouldn't look at the bad of this outcome. Look on the bright side of things."

"Still, I don't know how to raise kids."

"Really?" the white bat rubbed her chin.

"What's with the ruminate look?" the male agent crossed his arms.

"I'm just thinking…What if I teach you how to be a parent to your child?"

"What?"

"Just think about it. If I taught you how to be around and take care of kids, then you'll be a great dad."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute", Shadow shook his head. "You? Teaching me? About kids? And yet you don't have any?" he tried not to laugh.

"Why, what's wrong with that?" Rouge placed her hands on her hips.

"Nothing." The dark hedgehog turned to the side and snickered to himself. He then received another pound on his head. "Ow," he rubbed it in pain. "Seriously, you gotta stop abusing me", he looked at her disapprovingly.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever", Rouge crossed her arms. "I'm outta here", she made her way out of the room. Rudely, she slammed the door, forming small cracks on the walls.

"_Hmph. She has issues", _Shadow continued to rub his head.

A while later, it was finally time for his lunch break. The dark hedgehog grabbed his phone, just in case. It didn't matter where he was going to eat, just as long as he gets enough and comes back on time. Once he reached to the door and opened it…

"SURPRISE!!" every G.U.N. employee appeared with balloons, party hats, and other party-related items.

"What…the…hell?" Shadow sweatdropped. "Rouge?" he narrowed his eyebrows.

"Yep, I totally told everyone", the white bat winked. _"That's what you get for laughing at me, you jerk",_ she thought vengefully.

"Three cheers for Big Daddy Shadow!" one of the G.U.N. agents raised a cup of fruit punch.

"FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW! FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW! FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOOOOOOOW! THAT NOBODY CAN DENY!"everyone sang enthusiastically.

"Um…Thanks?" Shadow began to feel awkward.

"Congratulations, Shadow", the G.U.N. Commander came up to him and shook his hand. "If you ever need a paternity test, just let us know."

"What?"

"Trust me, I've been there."

"What?"

"Nevermind, have this balloon", the commander gave Shadow a white balloon that read #1 Dad in bold print.

"Erm…" The dark hedgehog was lost with words.

"Ok, guys, party's over", the commander turned to his agents. "NOW GET BACK TO WORK!" he ordered.

"SIR, YES, SIR!" Hastily, every single person took off in different directions in order to go back to their duties. The commander went back to his office as he whistled a tune.

"…_Its official",_ Shadow thought as he raised an eyebrow. _"I hate this place."_

"You're welcome", Rouge said as she had her arms behind her head.

"I really hope you didn't tell anyone else about my business", the black and red hedgehog glared at her distrustfully.

"Well…" the white bat pondered.

* * *

(Meanwhile…)

"Guess what, Cream!" Vanilla came into the living room with excitement. "Amy and Shadow are going to have a baby!"

"Oh…That's great", Cream smiled nervously yet kept her manners. _"Oh, God, another Shadow's on the way. Someone please get me out of this nightmare",_ she thought with horror.

* * *

(At the Chaotix's place…)

Vector and Charmy were in the living room watching the news. Both of them had bandages wrapped around them from head to toe because of the incident last night with Shadow. Only their faces were seen from the bandages. Being careful not to hurt himself, Vector reached for the remote next to him and started flipping channels.

"Ooh, ooh, right there!" Charmy said as Vector stopped on the Nickelodeon channel. Right on time, the Spongebob Squarepants theme came on.

**Are ya ready kids?  
Aye Aye Captain!  
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!  
AYE AYE CAPTAIN!**

**Ohhhhhhh! ****Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?**

**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!**

"Oh, hell no, we're not watching that!" the crocodile changed the channel.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" the bumble bee wailed with waterfall tears.

"Ok, ok, fine, you can watch your stupid show!" Vector shrugged as he went back to Nickelodeon.

"WHAAAAAAHHH!! SPONGEBOB'S NOT STUPID! I'M GONNA SUE YOU!!" Charmy continued to cry.

"Oh, for peace sakes", Vector muttered as his bandages were getting wet from Charmy's tears. "Hey, Espio! Where's my lunch!?" he hollered with rudeness and irritation.

"DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSEWIFE TO YOU?!" the heated chameleon came in as he had a butcher's knife in his hand.

"Um…No?" the crocodile gulped.

"Good. Now be patient!"

Suddenly, the home phone rang.

"Be right back", Espio went back in the kitchen.

As he was talking on the phone, Charmy watched his favorite show without blinking. Yes, it doesn't seem surprising that a little kid like him would love Spongebob Squarepants. But there is more to that. He also has posters, toys, videogames, and heck, his very own Spongebob Squarepants pajamas in his room! Vector yawned as he watched the show as well. Obviously, all he wanted to do was to watch some shows that **he** could enjoy.

"Hey, Vector", Espio came back in the living room. "Mute the TV right quick."

"With freaking pleasure!" the crocodile pressed the mute button on the TV speedily.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Charmy whined as if it was the end of the world.

"Charmy, you've seen that Chocolate with Nuts episode 40 times! You can live without watching it again!"

"Anyway, I have an important announcement to make", the chameleon cleared his throat.

"Lunch is ready?" Charmy guessed.

"Again, do I look like a housewife to you?" Espio slapped his forehead.

"Well, you do everything that a housewife does", the bee replied.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Vector cracked up at Charmy's answer. "Ooh, oww, oww, it hurts to laugh", he hissed because of his aching body.

"As I was saying, I have something to tell you", Espio crossed his arms. "Amy's pregnant. And yes, with Shadow."

Everything went completely quiet after he made that statement. All they could hear was the clock ticking in the background. Out of nowhere, Vector and Charmy started laughing. But then they stopped because they felt the pain again. Espio slapped his forehead. He should've known that they weren't going to believe him.

"Good one, Espio. Good one", the crocodile chuckled a little.

"What does pregnant mean?" Charmy asked.

"It means that Amy's going to have a baby."

"How does that work?"

"Well, Charmy-"

"No! We'll tell him when he gets older", Espio pointed at Vector to shut him up. "Besides, he's too young to be scarred for life."

"That's ok, I've been scarred for life many times", Charmy smiled. "Last week, I asked Vector what a condom was, and he told me everything-!"

"Erm, be quiet, Charmy", Vector clamped a hand over his mouth. "Oww, my arm", he felt the sting in his arm.

"You're a bad role model, you know that?" Espio shook his head.

"Oh, I beg to differ", the crocodile rolled his eyes.

* * *

Inside Tails' house, he, Sonic, and Knuckles were battling each other on Guitar Hero 3. They were performing on Expert Mode as the game played the song Welcome to the Jungle by Guns 'N Roses. So far, Sonic was rocking at the game while his friends were struggling. Tails tried to keep up with him while Knuckles was starting to get mad.

"What's wrong, guys? Can't keep up?" the blue hedgehog taunted as his fingers were moving incredibly fast on his guitar.

"Shut it!" the red echidna growled as he started sweating because of his anger.

"C'mon, step it up!" Sonic taunted again.

"Sonic, shut up", the amber colored fox snapped. Out of nowhere, his house phone rang. "Oh, come on!" he complained.

"Not it", Sonic quickly said.

"Not it", Knuckles spoke as well.

"Fine", Tails put his game guitar on the floor. "I was about to give up anyway", he went to pick up the phone.

Knuckles took a short glance at Sonic's fingers. They were moving like freaking race cars! How in the world does he do that? What was his secret? As of now, Knuckles knows why Sonic claims to be the King of Guitar Hero. Jealousy was written all of his face as he continued to go against his rival. But then, he realized something. He was wearing his big gloves! As fast as he could, he took off his gloves and somehow started going faster.

"Wait, what the hell?" Sonic noticed that Knuckles' score was going up.

"Ha! Get ready to eat my dust, Hedgehog!" the echidna cackled evilly. "You may be good, but I am soooooooo much better."

"Actually, I am, because I don't guard a stupid rock all day."

"Watch it, bud."

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" They kept going at each other until the end. Curiously, they glued their eyes to the TV screen in order to see who won. It read 'Player Two Rocks'.

"Yes! Oh, heck yes! You're too slow!" Sonic did a couple of backflips and landed on the couch. "Hail to the King, baby!"

"I hate you", Knuckles turned to him with fury.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Tails screamed.

"What, Tails, what?" the other two heroes looked at him.

"Oh, my god. I've just found out something very, VERY horrible", the fox said as his eyes showed fear. "Amy is pregnant…with Shadow!"

To be honest, he was definitely overreacting right now. He actually looked like he's seen a ghost! Sonic and Knuckles looked at him like he was on drugs or something. Then they looked at each other and started laughing.

"Are you serious, Tails?" the blue hedgehog wiped his tears.

"Oh, man, you crack me up", the echidna held his stomach.

"But I'm telling you the truth! Amy's been pregnant by the Devil!" Tails continued to freak out.

"Tails, chillax, would ya?" Sonic raised an eyebrow. "Shadow's a good guy, he just doesn't want show his soft side."

"Don't you see!? He's taken advantage of her! What are we gonna do!?"

"Tails, they've been together for a long time", Knuckles reassured him. "Besides, they probably planned on it. And by the way, where are you getting all of this 'He's the Devil' stuff from?"

"I think he's been watching too many horror movies on HBO", Sonic answered.

"I swear, I'm not hallucinating!" Tails pulled his hair with madness.

"Yeah…I'm gonna go now", the red echidna said uneasily and then ran out of the house.

"Um, yeah, um, I gotta go find a leprechaun", the blue hero looked the clock and then ran out.

"Wait!" the fox called out for them. "Where are guys going?" He sniffled with tears. "I'm so lonely."

* * *

Phew! I'm finally done with this chapter! Yes, I know Tails seems a bit strange, but I think it's funny. Technically, I'm not a huge fan of Spongebob like I used to be, but my little sister and cousins are addicted to him XD. And yes, Chocolate with Nuts was my favorite episode. Heck, I never thought that the people of G.U.N. would care about Shadow being a dad, but hey, I guess they like parties! And poor Espio, he's everyone's housewife XD. Before you ask, I don't own any Guitar Hero games, because I don't have a 360 or a PS3, (sigh). Well, it's cool, I can play it at my friend's house any day. Ok, guys, hope you've enjoyed this chapter! Adios!


	5. At the Supermarket

I'm back again, everybody! (Sigh), I've just found out that I failed my anatomy test. Blah. But I still got a 'B' so I'm ok. I guess I'm lucky, phew! And now, onwards to the next chapter! Remember, I don't own the characters!

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Chapter 5

It was 4:30 in the afternoon when Shadow returned home by Chaos Control. He just had the craziest day of his life, so he was glad that he was home. Through most of the time, Rouge and the others kept bugging him about what it was like to become a soon-to-be father and what was next for him. He really hates it when people ask about his personal life. He looked over at Amy, who was writing something on a piece of paper.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm making a grocery list", the female hedgehog replied. "We're running out of food."

"No we're not", Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Look in the cabinets, the fridge, and the freezer."

Curiously, Shadow checked every cabinet in the kitchen. There were only aluminum foil, paper plates, cups, a few canned foods, and various dry ingredients. Next, he checked the refrigerator. The only things that were in there was milk, eggs, orange juice, and a few fruits and vegetables. As for the freezer, it was completely empty. So Amy was telling the truth about running out of food.

"What happened to all of the food you bought two weeks ago?" Shadow looked back at her.

"Hey, just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean that I ate everything off the menu", Amy squeezed her pen.

"Sometimes it does", the black hedgehog made his judgment. As a result, he received three pounds on the head. "Ouch", he rubbed his bruises gently.

"Very funny, Shadow", the pink hedgehog crossed her arms. "I'm not the only one living here you know. If I'm not mistaking, you eat a bit more than I do."

"And how do you know that?" her spouse crossed his arms.

"Well, men seem to eat a lot at times because they have more metabolism than women", Amy said scientifically. Her husband stood there in silence. "Hm, guess I've made my point", she shrugged her shoulders. "Anyway, I won't be long", she puts her list in her purse.

"Hold on", the dark hedgehog took a soft grip of her arm. "I'm not letting you go out there by yourself."

"The supermarket's not that far away, Shadow. Plus, you hate going grocery shopping."

"Still, they are crazy people out there. And there's no way I'm gonna let you get hurt out there."

"Aww, you're so protective", the pink hedgehog smiled with a small blush.

"Of course", Shadow pulled her close to his body. "After all, you are carrying my child. And I don't want anything to happen to the two of you."

"Aaw, you're so sweet, looking after me and our child", Amy pinched his cheek playfully. "Ok, then, you can come along."

"Hm", Shadow pulled out his favorite green Chaos Emerald. He performed Chaos Control and they ended up at a corner of a nearby supermarket. "Ok, so what do we need?"

"A lot of things!" Amy pulled out her list, which was a ten inch long piece of paper.

"…_Crap",_ the dark hedgehog sweatdropped.

If he thought searching for everything on the list seemed difficult, then he should have a look inside! The two hedgehogs walked in the supermarket and noticed that it was pretty crowded today. Something told Shadow that he was going to be here for a long time. Besides the fact he hates waiting in lines, he also hates being around too many people. Yes, he has claustrophobia. Although his is more the angry type of it.

"Here, hold the list for me", the pink hedgehog gave him the list and took a grocery cart.

"Hm", Shadow looked at the list to himself. _"This could take long…"_

First, they reached to the bread aisle. While Amy was looking to see which cake to bake, Shadow looked around to see if anyone was checking her out. He saw a dark crow with sagging jeans, a red cap, fake gold jewelry and big sneakers. He was looking at Amy's lower body since she was standing on her tepee toes. The dark hedgehog let out a beastly growl and scared the crow away.

"What's wrong?" Amy asked as she grabbed a box of chocolate cake mix.

"I told you that there were crazy people out here", Shadow crossed his arms. "And it's a good thing that I came with you."

A while later, the two decided to go off in separate aisles to get the job done faster. Shadow hurried and got some frozen food as Amy picked out some fresh fruit. After that, she went to find some vegetables while Shadow went to the meat section.

"_Hmm…Should I have steak or roast beef?"_ he wondered. Yes, it was hard for a meat lover like him to choose only one meat to eat for the week. _"Screw it", _he took a couple packs of each and went to find Amy.

* * *

(Meanwhile at the vegetable aisle…)

"Hiya, Amy!" Silver came out of nowhere and waved.

"Aah!" the pink hedgehog gasped, almost dropping the carrots. "Phew, you scared me", she sighed.

"Sorry about that", the white hedgehog rubbed the back of his head. "Anyway, I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

"Like what?"

"Well…Would it be ok if you could pretend to be my girlfriend for a couple of weeks?"

"…What?"

"Please, just only for two weeks? It's the only way for Blaze to get jealous and then head heels for me."

"First of all, that's my friend and I don't mess with people's hearts. And second of all, hello, I am married", Amy showed him her engagement ring.

"Shh", Silver placed a fingertip on her lips. "No one will ever know."

"You got 3 seconds to get lost, Silver", Shadow appeared behind him as his body was glowing red.

"Whaah!" the white hedgehog shrieked as he turned around. "Don't scare me like that, man!"

"1…" Shadow began to count menacingly.

"I'm running away!" Silver took off without hesitation. "I WANT MY MOMMY!" he bawled fearfully as he ran pass some people. They all watched him as they sweatdropped.

"You didn't have to scare him, Shadow", Amy reassured him.

"But it's better than putting him in a hospital or the morgue", Shadow turned to her.

"True…"

Later on, they continued to walk through the store. So far, they had almost about everything on the list in the cart. They only needed a couple more things before they could leave the place. Suddenly, Amy stopped to look at another aisle as Shadow continued walking without noticing. He had his eyes closed and his arms crossed, thinking to himself as usual. He realized that he was walking alone and stopped. After that, he went to Amy, wondering what she was staring at.

"What is it?"

"Just think about it, Shadow", the pink hedgehog sighed with happiness. "Pretty soon, we'll have to buy some diapers, wipes, and other things for our baby", she continued to stare at the baby aisle.

"Right…" Shadow swift his eyes side to side. _"Not only that, but it'll make grocery shopping longer and we would have to spend more money",_ he thought uneasily.

"Anyway, let's keep going", Amy woke up from her daydreaming and started walking again.

'_Sigh',_ Shadow was about to follow her until he felt a tug on his leg. _"What the-?"_ he looked down.

"Daddy!" a small red hedgehog was hugging on his leg with joy.

"!?" The dark hedgehog's left eyebrow twitched. _"Oh, dear God, it's a kid",_ he thought with discomfort. "No, I'm not your dad", he said as calmly as he could.

"Huh?" the little boy looked up at him. "You're not my daddy?" he looked like he was about to cry.

"_Oh, no, not the crying",_ Shadow thought as his body twitched a little. "Look, do you know where he is?"

"No", the red hedgehog shook his head. "Can you help me find him, please?"

"_Great, first I volunteered to go grocery shopping and now I gotta look for the kid's idiotic parent",_ the intolerant hedgehog slapped his forehead. "Ok, fine, when's the last time you saw him?"

"Um…When we walked in, it was soooooo crowded, and then I got lost. Now I don't know where he is", the young hedgehog explained his story.

"Fine, but let's make it quick", the dark hedgehog started walking to find the kid's parent. Out of nowhere, his left hand was grabbed by him. "Why are you holding my hand?" he raised an eyebrow.

"So I won't get lost again", the red hedgehog smiled at him.

"_If only he thought of that before",_ Shadow rubbed his head a little.

"By the way, my name's Kevin. What's your name?"

"…Shadow."

"Shadow? Cool name."

That comment made Shadow look down at him in a bit of shock. Besides Amy and a few of his colleagues, Kevin thought that his name was cool and didn't care about the meaning of it. Most of the time, people would think he is scary and whatnot. What surprised him a lot was that this little kid didn't fear him at all. This one seemed to be different from the other kids he encountered in the past…

For about an hour, the two have searched for Kevin's father. They checked almost every aisle, asked a few people, and yet, received no luck. Wherever he was, he sure was hard to find. Seriously, it was like searching for Waldo! Taking a break, the two stopped at the candy and sweets aisle. This whole thing was wasting Shadow's time. If only he didn't agree to help this little boy.

"I don't think we're ever gonna find him", Kevin lowered his head hopelessly.

"I wouldn't say that so soon", Shadow replied.

"What do you mean by that?" the little hedgehog looked up at him.

"Up ahead", Shadow pointed ahead to an adult version of Kevin looking for him.

"That's him!" Kevin gasped joyfully. "Daddy!" he released Shadow's hand and ran to his father.

"Huh?" the older red hedgehog looked back. "There you are", he got down on one knee and received a hug from his son. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Same here, but I was able to get some help from Shadow", his son explained.

"Who?"

"He's right over-" Kevin looked back to point to his helper, but realized that he has disappeared. "Where'd he go?"

"Oh, well, at least you're alright", the father shrugged his shoulders.

"Say, Dad. I've always wanted to ask you something. Where do babies come from?"

"Trust me, you don't wanna know. If I told you now, you would end up having nightmares."

* * *

(Back with Shadow…)

"_God that took a freaking long time",_ the black hedgehog rubbed his eye temples. _"Seriously, people are stupid these days. They can't even keep an eye on their own kids. Sheesh, they should put leashes on them so they won't run around causing trouble. Still…that kid wasn't half bad. At least he didn't cry and gave me a headache. But that's just one kid different from the others. I doubt there are other kids like that in this world",_ he looked at his new silver watch. _"Oh, crap, I gotta find Amy."_

* * *

(Meanwhile, in the dairy aisle…)

"Excuse me, miss, but would you be so kindly to go on a date with me?" an orange hedgehog in a suit asked politely.

"Oh, um, I'm afraid I can't do that", Amy replied without being rude.

"I know. You're worried about paying a reservation. But not to worry, I have money!" the male hedgehog pulled out a handful of cash.

"You're too kind, but I know where people get fast money these days."

"You think that I sell drugs? Nonsense. I actually run a business in a different city."

"Then why are you here?"

"To visit my mommy."

"…Huh."

"So is that a yes?" the orange hedgehog clasped his hands together with anticipation.

"Sorry, but I'm married and I'm pregnant with his child", Amy crossed her arms.

"Oh, don't worry, he won't know. Plus, I don't mind adopting someone else's kid", the wealthy hedgehog fiddled with his money. Out of the blue, he felt a rough grip on his right shoulder that caused him to yelp.

"Walk away or die", Shadow threatened in a low tone.

"Oh, um, wh-wh-who is th-th-the-this?" the orange hedgehog looked at him shakily.

"That's my husband", the pink hedgehog answered.

"Oh, oh, um, you heard all of that, didn't ya? Well, I, uh, I was just kidding. I'll, uh, leave you two alone now", the frightened male hedgehog broke free and ran away.

"You ok?" Shadow asked his beloved.

"I'm fine", Amy nodded. "Where have you been?"

"Let's just say that I was forced to look for some kid's dad", the black hedgehog crossed his arms.

"Really? You actually helped out a child?"

"Of course. I have no other reason to why I've been gone for an hour."

"Well, at least you did a good deed, Shadow. And besides, the kid wasn't that bad, wasn't it?"

"At least he didn't cry."

"True", Amy sweatdropped. "Anyway, let's hurry up and get in line."

Just as anyone could predict it, every line was very long and slow. Shadow was right about one thing. He was going to be here for a REALLY long time. But he didn't expect to be here for more than an hour and a half. Now he's thinking about never coming back ever again. About thirty minutes later, Amy and Shadow were finally next in line.

"I'm gonna wait over there", Shadow pointed straight ahead.

"Ok", Amy said as she was looking for her checkbook.

While she was busy, Shadow stood at a wall and pressed his back against it. This has been a very long day for him. First everyone at G.U.N. knew about his upcoming child, and then he had to look for someone's dad, and scared off some pervs trying to take Amy away. Heck, he never knew that anything could happen in a supermarket. All he could think about was that once he gets home, he was going to shrug everything off. Nearby, a couple of girls were checking him out.

"Ooh, look at that hottie", the purple echidna smirked seductively. "I swear, I wanna take him home, tie him up to my bed and do everything with him."

"Um, Victoria", her friend, a brown raccoon, tapped on her shoulder and pointed at a different direction.

"What?" Victoria looked to what her friend was pointing at. Both of them saw a furious pink hedgehog with her arms crossed and was tapping her foot. Her eyes showed ferocity. "Um, uh, let's walk away before we get killed", Victoria suggested as she and the raccoon walked backwards frightfully.

"_Yeah, you better walk away, you skanks",_ Amy threatened in thought.

* * *

Ok, guys, I'm finally done with this chapter. Phew! I tried to get this done last night, but stupid homework took my time and I had to go to bed. But now that I'm done with it, I hoped you like it. And I've just learned a lesson today, NEVER FLIRT! Or else you'll die XD. So yeah, R&R, and have a nice day!


	6. Mood Swings and Q&A

Aloha! Yes, I am back with another fabulous chapter. I've just recently found out about the shooting at Fort Hood and I feel bad for everyone. So R.I.P. to the fallen victims in the shooting attack. Also, last night, I saw the Michael Jackson's 'This Is It' movie. I actually liked it. R.I.P. MJ, you always will be the greatest. Yes, go see it if you haven't. But first, read this new chapter! Enjoy! Remember, I don't own the characters.

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Chapter 6

(One week later…)

As usual, Shadow returned home by Chaos Control. For a while now, the people at G.U.N. kept harassing him about becoming a father. As we all know, he doesn't like to discuss his life situations at work. He would keep it to himself unless he can give them a small statement and carry on with his duties. Nonetheless, he was home and he can finally get some peace and quiet…

"You're late", Amy was sitting on the couch with her arms crossed.

"…?" The dark hedgehog looked at his watch. "It's 4:46. What's wrong with that?"

"Usually, you're home at 4:45, but you're one minute late. So where did you go? Who did you go with? And how was it?"

"What…What are you talking about?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"I'm watching you, Shadow the Hedgehog", the pink hedgehog stood up as she pointed at him sharply. "I'm watching you", she whispered as she crept to the kitchen.

"…" Shadow sweatdropped.

* * *

(An hour later…)

"Shadow, dinner's ready!" Amy called out as she placed her husband's plate on the table. Seconds later, he appeared, sat down at the table and started chowing down his food like crazy. "Does my Shaddie like his food?" the pink hedgehog asked sweetly. Shadow nodded and continued eating. "I love you", Amy hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"_Wait",_ the black hedgehog stopped eating. _"Sometime ago, she was acting psycho because she thought I was cheating on her, but now she's nice to me. And heck, she made my favorite steak dinner. Oh well."_ He continued to eat his food.

* * *

(That night…)

"**Please, Derrick, don't leave me",** a blonde woman on the TV screen begged her lover.

"**I'm sorry, Melody",** a brown haired man took her hands sorrowfully. **"But we must go on our separate ways. It may take some time, but we will see each other again."**

"**If there is anything I can do for you, just tell me now. I promise that I'll quit my job and my dreams just to be with you."**

"**No, it won't be worth it. You must keep fulfilling your dreams."**

"This is so sad", the pink hedgehog sniffled as she wiped her tears with a tissue.

"**Goodbye, my love",** Derrick released his beloved and then walked down an empty road. Some sad background music began to play.

"**WHY, GOD, WHY?!?!?!?!"** Melody sobbed to the cloudy skies as she sat on her knees.

"_**Is this the end of their relationship? Can they find a way to stay together? Or will they never see each other again? And is Melody really pregnant? Or was she just lying to get his attention? And what will happen to their injured neighbor, Bob? Find out next time on **__**'The Loved and the Heartbroken' **__**",**_ the announcer said.

"What in God's name are you watching?" Shadow poked his head from the bathroom door.

"Shadow? You do love me right?" Amy turned to him expectantly.

"Of course. Why do you ask that?"

"Well, if there is anything that I said or done that probably made you mad, I'm really sorry. Just don't ever leave me, ok?"

"I'm not gonna leave you-"

"Please, Shadow, for the sake of our child!" the pink hedgehog begged with tears.

"Um…Calm down. I won't leave you", the black hedgehog looked at her strangely.

"Ok", Amy sighed and then changed the channel.

"_What…the…crap?"_ Shadow shook his head.

* * *

(Around midnight…)

"Hey", Amy shook her sweetheart.

"What is it?" Shadow turned to her, eyes half way opened.

"What are you dreaming about?"

"Huh?"

"Are you dreaming about me?"

"…Y-Yeah."

"You're not lying to me, are you?"

"No, Amy, I'm not lying to you."

"Can I…Can I cuddle with you?"

"Fine, come here", Shadow wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to his chest. "Back to sleep", he closed his eyes as he yawned.

"Eww, your breath smells funny", the pink hedgehog broke free and relaxed on the other side of the bed.

"Wha?" Shadow sat up tiredly. He breathed on his palm and sniffed it. _"I know I brushed and flossed my teeth. Man, what is up with her?"_ he glanced over to his loud snoring wife.

* * *

(Two days later…)

"Shadow, am I fat?" Amy asked a random question while she and Shadow were sitting on the park bench.

"Um…No?" the black hedgehog examined her oddly. "You're just pregnant, that's all."

"How dare you", Amy narrowed her eyebrows with anger.

"How dare I what?"

"How dare you make fun of me being pregnant", the angry female grabbed him by the neck and shook him madly.

"Amy", the black and red hedgehog panted. "People…staring…" he pointed behind Amy.

"Hmm?" the pink hedgehog looked back and saw a human couple observing the scene as they sweatdropped. "Um…Oh, I was just kidding", she released Shadow with a smile on her face. She and the couple could hear him wheezing for air.

* * *

(Later on that evening…)

"I love you, Shadow", the pink hedgehog was hugging him a bit too tightly while they were at the movies. "And if you ever leave me, I'll hunt you down and make you cry", she switched to her demonic side.

"That's nice…but I can't…breathe…!" her companion tried to escape.

"You're not going anywhere", Amy growled as she pulled him closer.

* * *

(Another week later…)

"Please, don't leave me, Shadow!!" Amy sobbed as she was clutching his waist strongly.

"I'm only…going…to…work…" Shadow tried to speak as his face was turning blue. "Not…in…the…army."

"Oh, phew!" Amy released him suddenly. "Well, have a nice day", she smiled.

"Right…" the black hedgehog took a couple of steps back and performed Chaos Control.

* * *

At long last, he was able to get away from his strange dearest. He had no idea what was going on with her. First she's happy, then she's sad, and then angry. Something must be wrong with her. For once, he needed to talk to someone. But who?

"Hey there, Big Daddy Shadow!" an idiotic G.U.N. agent waved.

"Stop calling me that, would ya?" the hedgehog retorted at him.

"Oh. Can I call you Shad?"

"No."

"Big Daddy?"

"Never."

"Shaddie?"

"Hell no."

"Mr. Papaman?"

"…Stay…the hell…away from me", Shadow pointed at him forebodingly as he waked away from him.

After that awkward scene, he reached to his office and sighed. Thinking to himself, he sat at his desk. Why must he be surrounded by madness at home and at work? He has never been so lost and confused in his whole life. It was almost as if he had no one to turn to. At least, his office was his sanctuary...for now.

"Aloha, Shadow!" the white bat came in.

"Now what?" the dark hedgehog rubbed his eye temples.

"Well, I just thought that I could have someone to talk to."

"Go talk to Topaz."

"She's sick today."

"…Crap."

"Are you ok, Shadow?" Rouge walked to his desk.

"No", Shadow rested his chin on his desk. "Something weird has been happening..."

"What, are you pregnant too?" his close friend joked.

"What the hell, Rouge!?" Shadow yelled at her disgustingly as she laughed. "Hell no! Like if guys can get pregnant."

"The infamous pregnant man did."

"Pay attention to the news. He used to be a chick, had a sex change, yet kept his female organs and had babies. So there you go, the end."

"Hmm, someone's having a bad day."

"No, it's just Amy. One day she's like herself, but then her personality switches very fast. I mean, seriously, she goes from happy to sad, sad to mad, and then mad to happy. I have no freaking idea what's going on with her. But she's starting to drive me crazy."

"I'm assuming that you don't want to go home, right?" Rouge rubbed her chin.

"Isn't that obvious?" the male hedgehog rolled his eyes.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Rouge cracked up as she held her stomach.

"Stop laughing", Shadow clenched his fists.

"Wait! I'm not finished yet!" The white bat continued laughing loudly as Shadow covered his ears. She was able to cool off about 20 minutes later. "Whoo…Whoo…Ok, I'm done", she panted. "Anyway, you're just watching Amy have her mood swings."

"Mood swings?"

"Well, women tend to have mood swings during puberty. But pregnant women have a bit more than usual."

"Now I know why Amy's been acting strange. But does it happen during the whole pregnancy?"

"It only happens for a little while, Shadow. Just go easy on her."

Easier said than done, that's what Shadow was thinking. Even if he tried to stay on Amy's good side, there was no doubt that she'll snap again. To be honest, he wasn't sure if he could take anymore of this mess. Who knows, he would probably be forced to move to a safer place for a while. Still, he doesn't want to break Amy's heart again.

"Well, anyway, the main reason why I came here was to give you a little quiz", Rouge pulled out her cell phone and started pressing some buttons.

"What's a quiz gonna do for me? I'm not on a game show in case you didn't notice", Shadow said sarcastically.

"Idiot, I'm giving you a quiz to see how much you know about taking care of children", the white bat pressed a button and her cell phone started playing the Jeopardy Thinking music.

"…I hate that song."

"You hate everything."

"Touché."

"Does that mean you hate Amy as well?"

"No, just her mood swings."

"Question #1: If your child comes home with a bad report card, what would you say or do?" Rouge started reading the questions, one at a time.

"Hmm…I would give my child hell of a beatdown or I would kick it out of my house", Shadow said with his arms crossed.

"You're very supportive."

"Trust me; I am not going to raise a dummy."

"Ok, then. Question #2: Let's say that your child becomes a teenager and is going on a date. How would you react to that?"

"I would tell him or her to dump the date, or I will do it for them."

"Hm, you're very protective."

"I am not gonna be grandpa until the kid's out of college. Scratch that, much later than that."

'_Sigh'_. "Question #3: Your child is dealing with a bully. How would you two work it out?"

"Sign my kid for karate class. Or heck, I can teach it how to fight before the first day of school."

"Shadow, violence is not the answer", Rouge slapped her forehead.

"Sometimes it is", Shadow shrugged his shoulders.

"Moving on-"

"Can you please turn off that damn music? It's getting annoying."

"We're almost done, Mr. Shadow the Impatient Hedgehog."

"Your made-up nicknames for me are very amusing."

"Anyway, question #4: Your child begins to have a tantrum because you won't give it some candy. How would you solve that problem?"

"I would straightly tell the kid to shut up and be thankful that I'm keeping an eye on its weight, so that way he or she won't suffer diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, etc. And if it still doesn't listen to me, the kid's walking home on its own."

"Umm…Last question: Let's say that your child wants to stay up late on a school night. What do you do?"

"Either giving it some Benadryl, a shot of vodka, or pound its head."

The white bat looked at him bizarrely. Wow, this guy really hates kids and he doesn't know how to take 'good' care of them! All of those answers began to worry Rouge. If she doesn't figure out a way to teach him the right way to take care of kids, then his kid's going to suffer! And God knows what madness will occur if that were to happen. Not only she has to do this for the sake of Shadow's child, but also for Amy.

"So what's the score?" the black hedgehog asked.

"Epic fail, Shadow", Rouge shook her head and turned off her phone. "Epic freaking fail. I'm not kidding you, if there was an award that said 'Worst Parent in the World', you would definitely win it."

"Very funny", Shadow rolled his eyes.

"Hey, let's get serious here. Something tells me that your child is not going to have a happy life. I mean, based on those answers you gave me, you're going to cause some suffering to it!"

"Well…I didn't mean all of that…" Shadow swift his eyes side to side.

"Think about it Shadow", the white bat continued as some sad violin music came on. "There are a lot of kids being mistreated by their parents. And because of that, they're in gangs, foster care, or worst of all, in the grave. You don't want any of that to happen to your child, do you?" The black hedgehog shook his head. "And just think what Amy would say if she heard all of that."

"…Oh, shoot", Shadow slapped his forehead with shame.

"You do want to make her proud, do you?"

"I do."

"And you want to be a great father, do you?"

"I have to."

"It's official. Starting very soon, I am going to teach you how to be a daddy!" Rouge raised a fist with pride.

"But you don't have kids", Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"That doesn't matter. Besides, I know more than you do. So get over it." Her comrade rolled his eyes. "So…Are you ready to face some challenges? You only got one chance to make things work for your family."

"…I'll do it", Shadow nodded.

"Great! Meet me at the Chao Garden this weekend", the white bat waved and walked to the door.

"What?" Shadow glanced at her oddly.

"Peace out!" Rouge waved again and walked out.

"…_The Chao Garden",_ the black hedgehog rubbed his chin. _"I wonder what she is up to…"_

* * *

Phew! Done! And yes, this chapter was long, but hey, you guys love my long chappies. =) And yes, Amy has a lot of mood swings. Well, she's like that on Sonic X, yes? I mean, she's actually 12 and she has split personalities! LOL XD. So what does Rouge have in store for Shadow? Find out next time! R&R, thank you!


	7. The Chao Garden

I'm back again! How did I come with this chapter? Well, in my dreams, LOL. Um, I got nothing else to say except I don't own anything! Enjoy.

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**Chapter 7**

Saturday quickly arrived as Shadow was putting on his shoes and his gold bracelets. He wasn't sure what lied ahead at the Chao Garden, but he knows that he won't like it. Knowing Rouge, she would probably make him do some stupid things in order to make him look bad. Before he left, he went to the bedroom to check on Amy. She was awake rubbing her stomach.

"What time is it?" she asked as Shadow walked to her.

"Its noon", Shadow replied.

"Ugh, what did I eat last night?"

"Ice cream."

"Why didn't you stop me?"

"Well…"

* * *

(Last night…)

"I'm gonna eat some ice cream!" the cheerful hedgehog scooped some vanilla ice cream from a big bucket.

"Don't you think it's kinda late to eat ice cream?" the black hedgehog asked as he had his arms crossed.

Yet again, Amy's personality changed. She slammed the spoon on the table and stomped to her lover. Before he could've made his escape, she took his shoulders and slammed him against the wall behind him. Since Shadow was too shocked at her power, he didn't bother to move.

"Listen here", Amy spoke threateningly. "If I want to eat ice cream, then I'm going to eat ice cream. You got that?" The black hedgehog nodded. "Okie-dokie!" she released him with a smile and went to eat her late night snack.

"_What…the…crap?"_ Shadow blinked twice.

* * *

(Back in the present…)

"Oh, yeah", Amy rubbed her head. "No wonder I have a sudden brain freeze. I must've had one of those cravings."

"Cravings?"

"Yes, Shadow, pregnant women have their cravings."

"I see", Shadow crossed his arms. "Anyway, I'm going out for a while."

"Where're you going?"

"To the Chao Garden."

"What?" the pink hedgehog snickered.

"Let's just say that I'm going to start on my first lesson on how to raise kids", the male hedgehog replied.

"Oh, ok. Well, good luck", the pink hedgehog gave him a thumb's up.

"I'll be back", Shadow pulled out his Chaos Emerald.

"Wait, gimme a hug", Amy opened her arms. Without complaining, Shadow gave her a hug. "And you better not go anywhere else. Or with anyone else", she warned as she squeezed him.

"I won't. Just let go", Shadow said as he tried to break free.

"Ok", Amy smiled and released him.

'_Sigh',_ Shadow backed away and performed Chaos Control.

* * *

(At the Chao Garden…)

Rouge was waiting for Shadow as she looked at her watch. She was wearing a black business dress with matching high heels and wore a pair of half rimmed glasses. Under her right arm, she had a notebook and a pencil so she could take notes. Before she could start complaining, the dark hedgehog appeared beside her by Chaos Control.

"Glad you could make it", the white bat spoke.

"Whoa, what's with the outfit?" Shadow turned to her.

"Let's just say that I thought I would dress up professionally today, because not only I'm your teacher, I'm also your therapist."

"Therapist? Please."

"Hey, I know what to do", Rouge pouted. "I watch Oprah."

"I don't care. To be honest, you should wear something like that more often. It makes you look less of a slut", Shadow expressed his opinions. His 'teacher' stepped on his right foot with her **sharp** heel irritably, making his toe bones crackle. He held in his yell as he clenched his fists in order to ignore the pain.

"Very funny, Shadow", Rouge fiddled with her glasses. "But we must get started here. You know what chao are, right?"

"Yeah, they're big bubbly creatures that stalk you all day."

"Well, that's because they enjoy people's company. They're kinda like kids, but you have to understand their wants and needs so that way they can be happy. After all, they don't speak like us."

"Lemme guess, chao can cry like regular kids."

"Of course. Say, those chao over there can't reach the fruit over there", the female bat pointed to a small group of chao looking up at a VERY tall apple tree. "Why don't you go help them out?"

"Can't chao fly?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Sometimes, when a chao is born, it doesn't develop physical strength so soon. In other words, its flying ability isn't exactly great. So go help 'em out", Rouge pushed Shadow forward.

Murmuring to himself, he made his way to the tree as the chao moved out of the way. He looked up and saw lots of apples stuck on the tree branches. Then he looked at the chao who were staring at him with curiosity. Using a little bit of force, he punched the tree, but almost of the apples piled on top of him. The happy chao celebrated and began to gobble down one apple at a time.

"Hm, he was able to get them food, though he didn't need to use his power…" Rouge observed the scene as she wrote her thoughts in her notebook.

A while later, Shadow noticed that an orange chao was drowning in a small pond. He slapped his forehead. Doesn't that thing have wings so it could fly to safety? He looked back at Rouge. She pointed her finger to the chao, telling him to go help it out. The dark hedgehog sighed and walked to the pond. Unfortunately, his shoes got covered with mud once he stepped in it. Instead overacting about his shoes getting dirty, he picked up the chao by its head. The chao stopped crying and looked at him.

"If you can't swim, then don't get in the water", Shadow said rudely.

"Mm-hmm, he's warning the little one about the consequences…but he's being rather edgy about it", Rouge took some notes again.

Next, Shadow noticed a dark chao bullying a hero chao meanly. Rolling his eyes, he walked to them and separated them. The two chao glanced at him, wondering where he came from.

"If you don't like each other, then go the other way", the hedgehog made his point.

"He's solving the problem without using violence or profanity, good", the so called 'therapist' scribbled in her notebook again.

"Rawr!" the dark chao bit Shadow's right hand and started chewing on it.

"Grr, you little pest!" the black hedgehog started pounding on the little creature's head furiously.

"Scratch that, he needs to control his anger", the white bat sweatdropped.

After dealing with that devilish chao, Shadow sat down on the grass and rubbed his hand. A little bit of blood was traveling out of his hand down to his bracelet. He never thought that a chao could be such a pain, literally. Up ahead, a large group of chao was kicking a soccer ball back and forth to each other. A gray chao kicked the ball and it reached to Shadow. He stood up and kicked the ball back to it. The gray chao kicked the ball back to him. They began to repeat their movements.

"Aww, isn't that cute?" Rouge smiled at that scene.

Accidentally, Shadow kicked the ball back too hard and knocked every chao away like bowling pins, making a strike. An 'X' sign buzzed above them. Shadow slapped his forehead.

"Um, too soon", Rouge sweatdropped.

An hour later, Shadow saw a yellow chao trying to reach for an apple from a tree branch. He jumped up, grabbed the apple, and landed in front of the chao. Silently, he gave the apple to the yellow creature. After it got done eating it, it looked up at the hedgehog.

"CHAO!" the yellow chao had hearts in its eyes.

"Huh?" Shadow raised an eyebrow. At that moment, the chao surprised him when it jumped at his face and started kissing him, making him fall back. "Blah!" he shoved the chao off of him. "I'm taken, okay?" he said rudely. Out of nowhere, every single chao tackled him down and started fighting over him.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" the bat was cracking up as she was recording everything with her camera phone. "Oh, my god, that's hilarious!"

A few minutes later, Shadow decided to hide behind a bolder as he panted. Good lord, those chao are freaking crazy! He has never been attacked by anything smaller than him in his life! Taking a deep breath, he looked back and saw that the chao went back to their separate ways. He slowly tip toed away from the boulder and looked for an exit.

"Chao!" a green-yellow chao came up to him with a classic guitar.

"You want me to play it, do you?" Shadow crossed his arms. The chao nodded with a smile. He sighed and took the guitar. Truly, he has never played a guitar before, so this was new to him. He began to play the guitar as the chao clapped its hands.

"Hmm…" Rouge was looking through her binoculars from a tree branch. "Wow, he's actually pretty good."

While Shadow had his eyes closed and concentrating on his music, more chao began to gather around him as they listened. A light blue chao had a tambourine in its hand and started jiggling it. Next, a red chao had a drum and started beating on it. Lastly, a purple chao had a pair of maracas and started shaking them. Those that didn't have any instruments started dancing and clapping to the music. Rouge was taking some more notes as her left foot moved to the beat. As soon as Shadow stopped, everyone else stopped as well. He opened his eyes and realized that he was surrounded by chao, once again.

"_Ohh, crap",_ he thought uneasily. Just as he predicted it, all of the chao jumped on him, making him fall backwards on the ground.

Sometime later, Shadow sat on the ground again, observing the entire area. It sure looked peaceful, except the fact that a bunch of crazy chao lives here. Luckily, they were playing with each other away from him. At least he gets to take a break from them.

"So how's it going?" Rouge walked to him.

"They're crazy", the male hedgehog replied.

"That's because they like you. This is probably your first time being here."

"And it will totally be my last."

"I doubt that."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, just think about it. Maybe you can bring Amy here in case her mood swings drive you crazy again. Or you can bring your child here one day. Or better yet, all three of you can come here to chillax."

"Hmm…Maybe", Shadow shrugged his shoulders. "But I've been wondering…Where do chao come from?"

"What do you mean?" Rouge scratched her head.

"Like…How do they…come to this world?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure."

Near the pond, a neutral chao stopped playing with its friends and held its stomach. The other chao backed away, figuring what was about to happen. Rouge and Shadow noticed the scene as they blinked. Seconds later, the chao pooped out an egg as it appeared under its butt. Thankfully, the big egg wasn't covered in any of its feces. The other chao covered their noses as they scattered away.

"Nevermind", Shadow sweatdropped.

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that," Rouge rubbed the back of her head.

Later on, Shadow was relaxing on his back asleep. A turquoise chao flew to him and sat on his chest. The hedgehog opened his eyes and looked at it strangely. Not too long after that, the turquoise creature pooped an egg on him.

"Thanks", Shadow plugged his nose.

In order to get the stink off of him, he washed himself in the pond. Too bad there wasn't any soap around here. He didn't notice that a lot of female chao were watching him with hearts in their eyes. As for the male chao, they had fire in their eyes. They screeched with antagonism and charged at the hedgehog. Shadow looked back and raised a fist. The chao stopped and looked at him fearfully.

"Go. Away", the hedgehog warned them.

A dark red chao and a light green chao hiccupped with tears. Besides the fact that they were scared of Shadow, but they also thought that he was being mean to them. They started crying, causing sound waves all around the place. The rest of the group joined in. Suddenly, the entire area shook like there was an earthquake. Shadow covered his ears as he hissed in pain. The female chao had their ears covered as well. Rouge was listening to her music on her cell phone, so she couldn't hear what was going on. Getting annoyed with this, Shadow had to yell.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" The chao stopped crying and looked at him. "YOU'RE REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!"

"Bad, Shadow, bad!" Rouge had her arms crossed.

"Are you serious?" Shadow slapped his forehead.

"You shouldn't cuss in front of those poor little things."

"But they started it."

"Chao!" the male chao pointed at him accusingly.

"Why you…" the black hedgehog growled.

"Knock it off, Shadow", the white bat said motherly.

"GRRRRR!!! This is bull-!" the furious hedgehog turned to the side kicked the water, but his left foot got hurt by a big, durable rock. He froze as soon as he felt the pain. "…shit", he muttered through his teeth.

And so, it was finally time to go home. Rouge finished her notes and placed the pencil in the notebook. What a day this has been. Now she needs to figure out some more lessons for Shadow.

"Ready to go?" she looked back.

"I REALLY wish that I could go, but this damn chao won't stop humping my leg!" Shadow lifts up his right leg, showing her the same yellow chao from before thrusting on him outrageously as it panted.

"…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Rouge laughed uncontrollably as she pointed at them. She got a bit carried away and fell back on the ground, holding her stomach.

"_I am NEVER coming back here again",_ the black hedgehog shook his head.

* * *

LOLOLOLOL XD!!!! Oh, my god, I can't stop laughing! I hope you guys weren't eating or drinking anything while you guys were reading this, because I probably would've got sued if you choked, LOL. I have a feeling that Shadow won't be visiting the place again. And it's a good thing that Amy wasn't there when that chao fell in love with him XD. I totally remember when I used to have Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, I played as Shadow in the Chao Garden, commanded him to whistle, and then a couple of chao were running to him with their arms open, hahahaha!! Well, I hope you all had a good laugh today. R&R thanks!


	8. Going on a Diet? Where's Cheese?

Well, guys, I'm back again. Man, I got three tests this week, this is ridiculous! But I was kind of busy last week studying and getting a birthday present for my dad. Yeah, his birthday was on the 12th. All I gave him was a gift card to Best Buy because he's addicted to electronics, lol! So before I go take my first two tests on Monday (crap, that's tomorrow!), I want to update this story. Enjoy the chapter!!

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Chapter 8

Once Shadow returned home and told Amy about his experience at the Chao Garden, she started cracking up. Of course, he didn't think it was funny at all, considering he had to suffer all day. Since Amy was laughing a bit too hard, she wiped her tears and held her stomach.

"That…is so…funny", she panted.

"Maybe to you, but not to me", Shadow had his arms crossed, as usual.

"Yeah, but um, try not to make me laugh so hard, ok? I don't want the baby to pop out of me", Amy continued rubbing her stomach.

"I don't think a baby pops out because the mother laughs too hard."

"Well, this is my first time being pregnant, so I'm trying to be cautious."

"…" Shadow sweatdropped.

* * *

(A month and a half later…)

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Amy cried with waterfall tears as she sat on the weight scale.

"It's 4 in the morning", Shadow opened the door, half asleep. "Why are you crying so loud?"

"I discovered something terrible", the pink hedgehog sniffled. "I gained about 10 pounds. I'm so fat!" she cried some more.

"Well…" The black hedgehog yawned. "You did have some cravings here and there-" he pointed out until he received a death glare. "Um, uh, you're pregnant, that's all", he changed his answer so he wouldn't get choked. "It's just that, the baby's growing inside of you, and…it needs food. A lot of food."

"Hmm…" Amy rubbed her chin. "Maybe. Well, at least I'm feeding the child. But I think I'm feeding it too much."

"Then stop having random cravings", Shadow crossed his arms. He received a strike on the head. "Oww", he massaged his red bruise. "And mood swings."

"Oh, Shadow, I'm sorry", the female hedgehog rubbed his bruise for him. "I just can't help myself. Besides, this is my first time experiencing this. You just got to give me some time."

'_Sigh'_.

* * *

A short week later, Shadow returned home from work by his favorite ability. The only thing he could think about was food. Apparently, he didn't have enough time for lunch because he had a couple of intrusions. Yes, those two were Rouge and the Commander. Since he didn't have to deal with them until tomorrow, he might as well relax in his household. He walked to the refrigerator and opened it. Inside was the same food that he and Amy would get every two weeks. But there was a twist. Shadow noticed that everything in a package had a reading that said Low Fat on the center. He checked the freezer and everything on the food packages read the same thing. Same with the food in the cabinet.

"What the hell?" he pondered.

"Hey, Shadow, welcome home", Amy appeared from the bedroom door.

"May I ask why everything is…low fat?" Shadow turned to her suspiciously.

"Oh…I didn't tell you that I was going on a diet, right?" the pink hedgehog rubbed the back of her head.

"A diet? For what? You're not planning on starving yourself, are you?"

"Of course not, silly. I'm only going to eat the food that is healthy for me, but most importantly, for our baby."

"Then what am I going to eat?"

"Well…No offense Shadow, but you need to eat a little healthier."

"Alright, Oprah, gimme the scoop", Shadow took a chair and sat on it with his arms crossed.

"First of all, you eat too much meat", Amy tapped her left foot. "Actually, that's all I see you eat is meat. You should start eating some fruits and vegetables. They provide vitamins for you so you can live longer."

"I'm the Ultimate Life Form", the black hedgehog stated. "I can live as long as I can."

"Even the ultimate life forms have to eat healthy, Shadow", Amy replied. He rolled his eyes. "Also, you need to drink some milk. It's good for your bones."

"I don't really like milk."

"Then drink chocolate milk. Or heck, maybe strawberry, or banana."

"They have banana milk?"

"Yeah."

"…weird."

"And last but not least, you need to eat some grains. They provide good fiber, you know."

"Is that all?"

"Um…You should have manners when it comes to eating."

"And you're saying that, because…?"

"Well, whenever I see you eat, you act like the food's gonna jump up and walk away."

"I can't help it. I gotta eat."

"Shadow, do you remember the time that we were invited to the Chaotix's Bar-B-Q a couple of years ago?" Amy slapped her forehead.

* * *

(FLASHBACK!)

"Ok, guys", Vector called out. "Food's ready!"

"Yay!!" the guests grabbed their plates.

By using Chaos Control, Shadow took everything off the grill, grabbed the sauce and a 2 liter bottle of root beer and sat at a table far away from everyone. As fast as he could, he started eating everything like a horse. Amy was sitting across from him, but had a disgusted look on her face.

* * *

(END OF FLASHBACK!)

"Nope", Shadow shook his head.

"Look, what I'm saying is…relax", Amy sighed. "Take your time. I don't want you to choke."

"I'll be fine."

"_Men",_ Amy shook her head.

* * *

Later that evening, the two went to the park for some exercise. Yes, Amy forced Shadow to go with her, because she thinks that he needs to get some fresh air. So far, their little walk was going swell. That was until Cream came up to them, panting exhaustedly.

"Hi, Cream, how's it going?" Amy asked as she and Shadow stopped.

"I…need…your help", the peach colored rabbit stopped and placed her hands on her knees. "I can't…find…Cheese."

"Well, where is he?"

"I don't know. I checked the Chao Garden, but he wasn't there. Then I checked around the Mystic Ruins, but he wasn't there. Last, I checked the ice cream shop, but he wasn't there either. So now, I'm looking for him here. You think you can help me?"

"Sure, we'll help you out. Won't we, Shadow-?" Amy turned to look at him but he was gone. "Where'd he go?"

"Oh, well. I wanted to ask you anyway", Cream shrugged her shoulders.

"So is Chocola missing too?" Amy asked.

"Who?" the rabbit said confusingly.

"That brown chao, Cheese's brother."

"Who?"

Somewhere in the park, Shadow was relaxing under a tree. Of course, he didn't want to deal with any more chao shenanigans. Plus, he doesn't want to waste his time looking for a run away pet that belongs to a kid that sounds like she had an overdose of helium. He yawned as he placed his back against the tree and his arms behind his head. This was all he needed. A place full of peace and quiet. Now that he was all alone, he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

A little while later, he began to hear some noises. He woke up groggily and looked up. At first, he thought he saw something blue and bubbly in the tree, so he rubbed his eyes. He was right. Up in the tree, a chao was sitting in a big bird's nest. That had to be Cheese. But what if it wasn't really him? Only one way to find out. Shadow stood up and climbed up the tree until he reached up to the highest tree branch. He grabbed on to it and pulled himself up. Carefully, he walked to the bird's nest and looked down at it. Cheese was sitting in it and was playing with five flickies. At least he wasn't far away. Without hesitation, Shadow picked up Cheese, but he started struggling so it could get away.

"What's your problem?" the hedgehog raised an eyebrow.

At that moment, the flickies flew up, chirping at him angrily. They were probably cussing at him and he didn't know it. Curiously, Shadow placed Cheese back in the bird-well-flickie's nest and the little creatures sat down with him. Then they continued to enjoy each other's company. Shrugging his shoulders, Shadow decided to climb down the tree. Just when he got down, a sudden high-pitched voice spoke.

"Did you find him?" Cream asked worriedly.

"Jesus!" Shadow got surprised and fell on his back. "Don't...do that", he warned her. "And yes, I did find him. He's up in the nest", he pointed up.

"Well, we can't just leave him up there", the little girl clasped her hands together with concern.

"He's fine; he's just hanging out with some stupid birds", Shadow crossed his arms. "And by the way, can't you or Cheese fly?"

"Oh, that's right", Cream said and flapped her ears. She flew up to the nest and noticed what was going on. "C'mon, Cheese, we got to go home now", she reached out for him. Her chao pet shook his head and the flickies started chirping angrily. "Why are you so mean?" she sniffled. "WHAAAAAAAHHH!!" she wailed, causing the whole area to rumble.

"_Should've seen this coming",_ the black hedgehog had his ears covered.

The flickies were getting tired of Cream's crying and decided to fly away. Cheese slapped his forehead. He was making new friends and now his owner ruined it all. With defeat, he flew to her and gave her a hug. She finally stopped crying.

"Oh, Cheese, I know you love me!" she squeezed the chao tightly, causing some bones to crackle. She flapped down and noticed a fallen tree in front of her. "Mr. Shadow, are you alright?"

"Do I look like I'm alright?" Shadow muffled underneath the tall tree. "Where's Amy?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure", Cream scratched her head.

* * *

(Around the corner…)

"So you're really pregnant?" Knuckles asked as he rubbed his chin.

"Of course!" Amy smiled. "Isn't it great?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Knuckles laughed. "Don't tell anyone I said this, but Tails overreacted, saying that you were pregnant by the Devil."

"Well, that's his loss", the pink hedgehog crossed her arms. "So what do you think?"

"Um…I'm just surprised, that's all. But um, you have been growing a lot lately."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you have been gaining unnecessary weight", Knuckles rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, what do you expect? I'm pregnant", Amy poked his chest harshly. "Meanie", she turned her back towards him with her hands on her hips.

"Hmm…" the red echidna examined her backside. His eyes widened once he noticed that Amy's butt got a little bit bigger. "Wow, you **really** have been growing a lot lately", he got on one knee and poked her butt.

"GRRRR!!" Amy growled as she looked over her left shoulder. Strongly, she smacked him across the face, sending him flying backwards until he landed about 30 feet away on the concrete ground. "You pervert!" she hollered irritably.

"Ms. Amy, we found him!" Cream ran to her, hugging Cheese firmly.

"That's great!" the pink hedgehog smiled. "But where's Shadow?" Right on time, she saw him limping to her while using a tall stick to keep his balance. "Oh, my gosh, are you ok?" she rushed to him.

"Promise me that you won't get a chao for our child", Shadow looked at her hopefully.

"Why is that?" the female hedgehog blinked.

"Because…I. FREAKING. HATE. CHAO!!" the black hedgehog yelled with madness.

"Chao-chao!" Cheese charged at him. Somehow, with some brute force, he tackled him down like a football player. "Chao", the light blue creature murmured as he flew back to Cream.

"Little prick", Shadow muttered.

"Oh, you poor little thing", Amy bent over a little, shaking her head.

"Mr. Knuckles, are you alright?" Cream shook the unconscious echidna.

"Hey, Cream, how's it going?" Sonic appeared as he waved. "Whoa, what happened to him?" he looked down at his friend.

"I don't know", the rabbit shrugged her shoulders.

"Hmm…" Sonic looked ahead and noticed a female hedgehog bending over. Because he didn't know that it was Amy (and he didn't notice Shadow), he tip toed to her and pinched her butt. She shrieked. "Nice ass!" he said slyly.

"Why you…!" Amy looked at him with flames in her eyes.

"Whoa, Amy, I didn't know that it was you!" the blue hedgehog said fearfully. He got smacked hard across the face, causing him to fly backwards until he landed next to Knuckles. "Oww", he groaned.

"Oh…Now I see", Cream sweatdropped.

"Wow, you're strong", Shadow said as he got pulled up.

"Yeah, well, what a girl's gotta do is what a girl's gotta do", the pink hedgehog winked. "Shall we get going?"

"Yes, but first…" The black hedgehog went to his rival and stomped on his 'lower' area strongly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Sonic let out the hugest scream of his life. It caused some flickies to fly away, cars getting into wrecks, shattering glass windows, making infants cry, and making random people scream as well.

* * *

(That night…)

"Well, that was interesting", Amy said as she and Shadow were lying on their bed.

"I hate the park", the black hedgehog complained. "I hate chao, I hate flickies, I hate that little girl, and I definitely HATE that fake hedgehog."

"Yes, I can see that", the female hedgehog sighed.

* * *

(At the hospital…)

"Am I able to walk again, doc?" Sonic asked worriedly. Yes, he was in a hospital bed, under the cover and had a couple of wires attached to his skin.

"Yes", the doctor nodded. "But you're going to suffer some excruciating pain from…well…down there."

"Damn you, Faker", Sonic growled as he clenched a fist.

* * *

Wow, that was random! But hey, everybody loves a good laugh! Yep, Shadow now admits that he hates chao. LOL XD. And my, he sure is causing everyone some pain. First the Chaotix, and now Sonic! XD Hope you've enjoyed this chapter! Toodles!


	9. The Next Test: Charmy

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!! It's finally the weekend! And yes, I got through so many tests this week, and I know I did awesome on them because I studied. But hey, let's forget about school and enjoy the weekend! Party at my house! Wait…LOL XD. And thank God I came up with this chapter earlier this week. Hope you enjoy!

**

* * *

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Chapter 9

It was finally Friday. Many people were rushing to get home from traffic, going to certain places to hang out, and some were celebrating as they ran through the sidewalks of Station Square. However, Shadow didn't have to time go home and relax for the weekend. He was forced to follow Rouge to wherever his next lesson might take place. Whatever it was, he hoped that he could get through it quickly so he could go home. Both of them were walking through the Mystic Ruins in silence.

"Ok, Shadow. Today, I am going to put you on a test", the white bat stated. "It may be tough, but I know you can do it."

"What kind of test is it?" the black hedgehog asked.

"You'll see. Since you passed the chao lesson quite well, I am going to test your skills on being around a real kid."

"As in…"

"Babysitting." That comment made Shadow stood still.

"Hell no."

"C'mon, Shadow, this will be good practice for you", Rouge turned around and tapped her foot. "Who knows, you might have to baby-sit your child in case Amy goes somewhere."

"Like where?"

"A vacation or something."

"Why would she go on a vacation without me?"

"Well…Sometimes girls, well…I'll tell you later", the white bat paced ahead.

"Wait, what? Gimme an answer already", Shadow followed her.

"Later, Shadow."

Right on time, they came up to a small house which had a sign that said 'Chaotix Crib' on the door. Shadow raised an eyebrow. What was he doing here? And who was he going to baby-sit? Something told him that his next test wasn't gonna be good. As he was thinking to himself, Rouge took the opportunity to ring the door bell.

"It's about time you're here!" Vector opened the door rudely. "Welp, see ya in 3 days", he grabbed his luggages and ran out the door, passing through Shadow and Rouge.

"What?" the black hedgehog scratched his head.

"I wish you the best of luck", Espio walked out with one suitcase, shook Shadow's hand, and followed Vector.

"What's going on?"

"Shadow", Rouge led him inside. "Meet your next test." In the living room, Charmy was sitting on the floor with a huge smile on his face.

"Hiya guys!" the bee waved.

"Goodbye", Shadow walked out.

"Oh, no you don't!" the white bat pulled him by the ear. "You are going to look after Charmy while Espio and Vector are out on vacation. And you have to stick with him for 3 days."

"3…3…days?" the black hedgehog turned to her ungratefully.

"Yes, Shadow", Rouge sighed. "And if you take off and leave him alone, you're gonna be in big trouble."

"Is that so?" Shadow crossed his arms.

"First, you'll automatically fail your test. Second, Espio and Vector will get mad because they needed a vacation. And lastly, Amy will kick your butt."

"Wait, she knows all of this?"

"Yep. I told her everything."

"…I hate you."

"Of course", the white bat sighed. "But there's a twist. I'm going on vacation as well, so you're on your own."

"What the fu-Why is everyone going on vacation!?" Shadow threw his hands in the air furiously. "It's not even Spring Break yet!"

"It happens", Rouge looked at her watch. "But I'll have my cell phone, in case you need some advice. Now remember these rules…Don't yell, don't cuss, don't talk down on him, and DO NOT hurt him. You got that?"

'_Sigh_'. "Fine", Shadow shrugged his shoulders.

"Cool", Rouge smiled. "Be good, Charmy, ok?" she waved at the little bee.

"Okie-dokie!" Charmy waved back.

"Good luck", the white bat patted Shadow on the shoulder and made her way out. She closed the front door and flew back home.

And so, it was just Shadow and Charmy. Two creatures with opposite personalities. One was mature, one was obnoxious. This might be the toughest test that Shadow will ever face in his life. He wasn't sure if he could keep his cool if the brat starts to drive him crazy. But he has to pass the test somehow. It's possible that Rouge had a secret chat with the Chaotix about all of this. And it's also possible that Charmy would give her some feedback at the end of this nightmare. What makes matters worse is that Shadow has to stick with him for three days. If he remembers, he'll give Vector and Espio a beatdown once they return from their vacation.

"So, um-" the black hedgehog spoke.

"OK, WHAT SHOULD WE DO? LET'S PLAY HIDE 'N SEEK! LET'S PLAY SIMON SAYS! OOH, OOH, WE CAN WATCH SPONGEBOB! AND WE CAN EAT SOME ICE CREAM! DUDE, LET'S PLAY SOME VIDEOGAMES! NO, NO, WAIT, LET'S PLAY-!" the hyper active child buzzed around the room until Shadow held up a hand to stop.

"Slow…down", the dark hedgehog said. "Speak properly and relax. Now, what do you want to do first?"

"Um…Watch Spongebob!" Charmy picked up the remote and turned on the television.

"**Once there was an ugly barnacle…he was so ugly, that everyone died. The end",** Patrick Star told the story and smiled.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD, THAT WAS HILARIOUS!" Charmy laughed.

"_Oh, dear god, I have to watch this? With him!?"_ Shadow's left eyebrow twitched.

Too bad for him, Nickelodeon decided to play about 3 more episodes of Spongebob. Of course, Charmy watched every minute of it without moving an inch. Shadow easily got irritated by that show and went to the kitchen. Through the whole time, he decided to talk to Amy.

"You'll be fine, Shadow. Just don't injury him", Amy said considerately.

"I'm trying to control my temper, but the damn TV keeps showing that weird yellow talking thing", Shadow replied as he placed his back against the wall.

"Spongebob?"

"I don't even care what his name is. He's annoying just like that little brat."

"Oh, Shadow, Shadow, Shadow. You just gotta learn how to be patient. Besides, you'll be able to experience what it's like to be around a little kid."

"But this kid's annoying."

"Kids will be kids, Shadow. You'll figure it out someday. Just stay cool, calm, and collective."

"Is it ok if I can come home for a few hours?"

"Shadow, you can't leave a child alone in a household. You'll get in trouble."

"Crap…"

"But hey, if you need any help, just let me know."

"Oh, I am so gonna need help alright. Bring me some sleeping pills."

"You're funny", Amy giggled. "Anyway, be nice to Charmy, ok?"

"Fine", Shadow sighed.

"Bye Shaddie!" Amy said and hung up.

"…great", the black hedgehog closed his cell phone. He made his way to the living room.

"HEY, SHADOW!" the bumble bee appeared out of nowhere, making Shadow jump a little.

"Don't do that", the hedgehog warned.

"Spongebob's over now and I'm bored", Charmy explained. "I wanna play a game now."

"What do you and the others play?"

"Um…arm wrestling?"

"…Fine", Shadow grabbed a chair and sat on it. "We'll do that."

"Just don't break my arm, ok?" the bee buzzed to the table and sat on it. "Ready?" he held his right hand out. Shadow took hold of it. "Set…Go-!" he got cut off when his arm was on the table. "You cheated!" he protested.

"How did I cheat?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't finish saying go."

"Fine."

"Ok, ready…set…go!" Before he made a move, his arm was on the table again. "You cheater!"

"What now?" the black hedgehog tried not to raise his voice.

"I wasn't ready yet."

"Fine. One more time."

"Ready, set, go!" Charmy said and then tried to force Shadow's arm on the table. However, he wasn't strong enough. Before he could try again, Shadow slammed his arm on the table. "YOU CHEATER!" he complained.

"I'm done", Shadow crossed his arms.

"But I'm booooorrrrrred", the youngster whined.

"What else do you want to do?"

"Um…Ooh! Let's go hang out with Sonic and the others!"

"No. Absolutely not", Shadow shook his head.

"Why not?" Charmy asked curiously.

"I hate them."

"Then um…we can listen to some music! I'll be right back", the bumble bee buzzed out of the room. He came back in with a stereo, sat it on the table, and plugged it in. After that, he went back out and returned with a CD. Carefully, he puts the CD in and pressed the play button. A few seconds later, the first song came on.

**(BGM plays 'Noma Numa Yei' by Ozone)**

**Ma-ia-hii  
Ma-ia-hoo  
Ma-ia-ha  
Ma-ia-ha-ha**

**[repeats mutliple times****]**

Easily irritated by the song, Shadow pressed a button to skip the song.

"Hey!" Charmy objected.

"That song is annoying", Shadow replied. Unfortunately for him, the next song was just as annoying as the last one.

**(BGM plays ****Chacarron Macarron by El Mudo)**

**Oooooooohuuu yeaaaaaah…. sea... sou... jhonn macarron… Yeah macarron nooon**

**Chacarron, Chacarron, Chacarron, Chacarron **

**Ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus…alsualsualualauusualulus…**

**Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron, n', Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron-**

"Idiotic", Shadow skipped to the next song.

**(BGM plays 'Witchdoctor' by Ray Stevens)**

**Male's voice: Hey, Witchdoctor! Give us the magic word!**

**Deep voice: Alright. You go '****Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang, walla walla, bing bang'**

**Male's voice: Alright!**

**[Chorus]:**

**Ooo eee,ooo ah ah ting tang  
Walla walla, bing bang  
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang  
Walla walla bing bang...  
Ooo eee ,ooo ah ah ting tang  
Walla walla ,bing bang  
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang  
Walla walla bing bang**

"I love this song!" the bee started doing the robot dance.

"Horrible", the male hedgehog changed the song.

**(BGM plays 'Banana Phone' by Raffi)**

**Ding-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling!**

**Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!**

**Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!**

**Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring**

**Banana phone**

**Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring**

**Banana phone-**

"Ok, I'm sick of this CD", Shadow turned off the stereo.

"Aw, man!" the bee lowered his head. "Now I'm bored again!"

"Got anything else in mind?"

"Um…Hang out with Sonic and-"

"No."

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"I'm about to cry."

"You better not", Shadow clenched his fists.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Charmy wailed loudly with waterfall tears.

"Ok, ok, we'll go!" the black hedgehog covered his ears. "Just stop crying already!"

"OK!" Charmy stopped with a smile.

"Come right next to me", Shadow stood up and pulled out his Chaos Emerald. The bumble bee flew to him. After that, they disappeared in a flash.

* * *

(At Tails' house…)

"Yeah, Hadōken!" Sonic said as he was playing as Ryu in the game Street Fighter 4. Of course, he was winning.

"Why the hell did I pick Blanka again?" Knuckles shrugged as he struggled to beat his rival.

"Oh, heck yes!" Sonic controlled Ryu to do his Ultra Combo. "Super Hadōken!"

"I don't think that's the name of that move", the echidna sweatdropped.

"I don't care, I'm still kicking your ass."

"Dammit."

"**Ryu wins!"** the announcer said.

"Let's see…The score now is 20-0. Man, you suck", Sonic kicked back.

"Go screw yourself", Knuckles gave him a death glare.

"So…Is this why you guys come over here so often? To play with my 360?" Tails was sitting on the couch with boredom.

"Pretty much", his two friends said honestly.

All of the sudden, a flash a light appeared at the door. The three heroes jumped to their feet and got in their fighting positions. But then, they lowered their guard once they found out that it was only Shadow. A couple of questions ran through their minds. What was he doing here? And why was Charmy with him?

"Oh, geez!" Tails hid behind his couch. _"Why is Shadow here? Has he come to take my soul?"_ he thought as he shook in fear.

"Um, we don't have any money at the moment", Knuckles spoke.

"Yeah, um, if you're here to abuse me because of the incident at the park, can you wait until tomorrow?" Sonic looked at his watch.

"I'll deal with you later", Shadow pointed at him. "Anyway, the kid wouldn't stop complaining, so I brought him here."

"Wait, are you babysitting-?" the echidna raised an eyebrow.

"Don't ask, don't tell", the black hedgehog warned him.

"Yikes!" the fox whispered frightfully.

"VIDOEGAMES!" Charmy shouted with excitement, probably causing Shadow's eardrums to rumble. "MOVE, I WANNA PLAY!" he shoved Sonic and Knuckles to the side and started playing the game.

"You could've just ask, you know", the blue hedgehog crossed his arms.

"For once, I pity you", Knuckles shook his head.

"Much obligded", the black hedgehog sighed. "Anyone got some aspirin?"

"How much do you need?" Tails stood up.

"A lot", Shadow replied.

* * *

LOL, poor Shadow! XD Spending 3 days with Charmy would be a living nightmare if I had to baby-sit him. I'm not kidding, I would end up going crazy! Wouldn't you? Yeah, I know you would. But hey, I like him, he just needs to lay off the sugar. In case you don't remember that quote from Patick, it was on the episode of Spongebog when he had bad breath and he thought he was ugly. I think that was the whole plot. And yes, I've played Street Fighter 4. It's ok if you ask me. What's next for Shadow and Charmy? And what about Team Sonic? We'll find out next time! And P.S., I don't own the characters or the music lyrics, or the songs. And yes, I have those songs on my computer, for shits and giggles! LOL! 'Witchdoctor' FTW!


	10. Arguements, Bruises, and Pizza

Good morning, everyone! Yeah, it's morning time where I'm at. It's 10:10 AM. Yes, I just had breakfast and I'm ready to update this chapter. We're at chapter 10, ppls! Time to celebrate! Let's see what happens next…

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Chapter 10

"Ooh, that chick is hott", Charmy commented as he chose to play as Cammy.

"Excuse me, but who taught you how to say that?" Tails raised a hand.

"I heard Vector say it a few times. Like this one time, I woke up late because I was thirsty, and I went to the kitchen. But then I heard him make some strange noises in the basement. He kept saying things like 'Oh, you're so hott', 'Let's get funky', and 'I want to be inside you'. I dunno know what all of that means, but it's kinda weird", the bumble bee explained. Everyone stared at him as they sweatdropped.

"I can't believe you just said that", the fox shook his head.

"I can't believe it's not butter", Sonic snickered. At that moment, he started cracking up. "Get it? Did you get that?" he wiped his tears.

"Faker", Shadow crossed his arms. "You fail as a comedian. You fail as a hero. And you absolutely FAIL at life."

"Go cut yourself, you Goth!" the blue hedgehog got up.

"Oh, no you didn't", Shadow started taking off his bracelets.

"Um, uh, uh, hey!" the fox boy raised his hand again. "Anyone hungry for some pizza?"

"PIZZA!!" the strident insect shouted.

"Ok, Charmy you didn't have to yell, you know", the echidna had his ears covered.

"Hey, Shadow! Do you wanna play?" the bee asked.

"No thanks", Shadow replied.

"Why? Are you scared to be beaten by me? Or are you a party pooper? Or is it because you're lame? Yeah, I think it's because you're lame", the bee continued playing the game.

"Lame, huh?" the black hedgehog narrowed his eyebrows.

"Um, uh, I'm calling Pizza Hut", Tails rushed to the phone and dialed the number. "What do you guys want?"

"I'll take chilly dog pizza, please", Sonic raised his hand.

"Sonic, there is no such thing as chilly dog pizza."

"Fine. Then I'll take pepperoni."

"Make mine cheese", the red echidna picked up a controller so he could go against Charmy.

"And you?" Tails turned to Shadow with a gulp.

"…Meat lovers", he answered.

"Oh, um, meat lovers, huh?" the fox said nervously. "Sure, sure, ok." He gulped again. _"Oh, dear God, he eats meat. And not just any meat. He probably eats animals that were sacrificed to his cult. Or maybe humans. Or both!"_ he thought as he bit his fingers.

"And I'll have everything!" Charmy spoke.

"How about this? You can one have of each when the pizza gets here", the blue hedgehog suggested.

"OK!!"

"Not so loud", Knuckles snarled.

"Ooh, ooh, what about drinks?" Sonic turned to his fox friend.

"What do you want? I can only afford two", Tails scratched his head.

"Chaos Cola", Sonic replied.

"It doesn't matter", Knuckles shrugged his shoulders.

"All of the above!" the bee raised his hand.

"Um…you?" the fox looked at Shadow.

"I don't care."

"Um…I'll just get two Chaos Colas then", Tails wrote everything down.

"I'll be outside", the black hedgehog walked out.

"Party pooper", the bumble bee responded.

As soon as Shadow went outside, he went ahead until he was sure that he didn't hear them. So far, his Friday was starting to suck. First, he had to watch over the bothersome little pest, and now, he's stuck with Faker and his friends. Of course, the Ultimate Life Form wasn't sure how he was going to survive this madness. It's only a matter of time before he could release some tension on them. Thinking that he needs someone to talk to, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number.

"Hey, what's up?" Rouge's voice was on the other line.

"I quit", Shadow answered.

"Why? You just got started."

"I can't take it any longer. Not only that the little pest is pissing me off, but now, we're supposedly 'hanging out' with Faker and his friends."

"Well, at least you get to take a break from him, right?"

"Yeah, but I hate the other three. Seriously, they're like the crack-headed versions of The Three Stooges."

"HAHAHAHAHA!!" Rouge laughed. "Oh, my god, you're hilarious."

"So how's YOUR vacation?" the black hedgehog asked charily.

"Right now, I'm getting a foot massage. And it feels soooooo good. What are you doing now?"

"I'm outside getting some fresh air. And the fox boy's ordering some pizza."

"See? They're not that bad. You just got to get to know them."

"I rather get to know a gold fish than them."

'_Sigh'._ "Look, you need to…socialize for a little bit. And be patient with them."

"Great…" Shadow murmured.

"And don't give up, ok? Your child is counting on you. You wouldn't give up on it, would you?"

"…No."

"That's the spirit! Anyway, I'm about to get a back massage, so TTYL", the white bat said and hung up.

"_TTYL?" _Shadow closed his cell phone.

Around that time, Charmy lost to Knuckles in a battle. He called for a rematch, but Sonic told him that he has to give in until it was his turn again. Being the little brat he was, he said no. Yes, Sonic tried to keep his cool, but he was getting impatient. He tried to snatch the controller away, but Charmy whined as he grabbed it.

"Gimme the controller!" the bee tugged the Xbox 360 controller from Sonic.

"You lost, so it's my turn", the blue hero pulled it back.

"Just one more try!"

"Charmy, let go!"

"If you guys break my 360 controller, I swear to Tom Cruise that I'll sue you", Tails had his hands on his hips.

"Give it to me already!"

"Fine, you big baby!" Charmy released the controller.

"Whoa!" Sonic fell back and the controller flew backwards.

"Oh, no!" the fox clasped his palms on his cheeks with fear.

"This is gonna suck-" Shadow walked in but then got hit in the right eye. He looked down at the controller as he growled. "Ok", he picked up the controller. "Who…the hell…threw this?" he asked threateningly.

"Um…" Charmy and Sonic looked at each other. "Knuckles did it!" they accused their echidna friend.

"What, me!?" Knuckles glanced at them unkindly. "Oww, watch the hair!" his dreadlocks got tugged by Shadow and was pulled out to the backyard. The door closed behind them. "Wait I didn't do it, I swear-AAAAAAHHHHH!!!" he screamed in agony as he was getting his butt kicked, brutally. He begged for mercy but received no luck.

Charmy and Sonic looked at each other and gulped. They sure didn't want to be in Knuckles' shoes right now. Tails was breathing into a brown paper bag appallingly as he started to sweat. Whatever was going on out there, he didn't want to see it for his own eyes. It almost sounded like Shadow was killing one of his good friends! Nearly a minute later, there was silence. The door opened and the dark hedgehog walked in as he clapped the dust off of his hands. Everyone else gulped.

"Let that be a lesson for all of you", Shadow pointed at them.

"Oh, God…the pain", Knuckles crawled in with lots of bruises on his body. "Why would you lie like that, ya?" he reached out a hand towards Sonic and Charmy.

"Oh really now?" the mean hedgehog narrowed his eyebrows.

"He started it!" Sonic and Charmy pointed at each other. They gulped as they watched Shadow stomp towards them. Then he stopped.

"You're grounded", Shadow pointed at the child.

"Aw man!" the bee grumbled.

"And as for you…" the black hedgehog crackled his fists.

"Wait, it was an accident, I swear-Oww, oww, oww! My hair!" Sonic cried in pain as his rival tugged him by the quills and was pulled out the house. The front door closed behind them. "Have mercy on me, man!" his begging voice could be heard from the door.

"Ehh, no", Shadow replied.

"OH MY GOD! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Sonic yelled in pain as he was getting his butt kicked, but twice as cruelly.

While all of that was happening, Tails was having a mental breakdown, Charmy covered his eyes, and Knuckles crawled to the couch. Of course, they felt bad for their blue friend. For some reason, Shadow was taking a long time to beat him up. Perhaps it was because he just hated his guts. About 5 minutes later, Shadow walked in as he brushed the dust off of his shoulders. Then he went to take a seat at the kitchen's table. As for Sonic, he groaned in pain as he crawled in. Comparing to Knuckles, he was in much worse condition! He had two black eyes, swollen jaws, a bloody nose, and over a hundred bruises on his body! All of that beating was for lying to Shadow, hitting him with the controller, and for what happened at the park a few days ago. The fallen hero heaved as he creped to the couch. He tried to stand up but he collapsed on the floor. Suddenly, the door bell rang. Tails ran to the door and opened it.

"Pizza's here", Big the Cat held up three pizza boxes in one hand and a plastic bag with the soda in the other.

"Wait…You work for Pizza Hut?" the fox raised an eyebrow.

"Uhhhhhh…I think so", the purple and white cat said dumbly.

"Figures", Tails rolled his eyes. "How much do I own you?"

"I forgot."

"Really?"

"Ummmmmmmm…"

"I give up", the fox stomped to his garage and grabbed a calculator. He did some calculations and ran back to the idiotic employee. "Here's $30", he pulled out some money.

"Ok", Big handed him the pizza and the pop. He snatched the money and ran off, laughing like a maniac. "Whoo-hoo! I'm rich!"

"Uh-huh…" the intelligent fox sweatdropped. He used one foot to close the door. "Alright, who wants some?" he asked out loud.

"Ughhh…" Sonic and Knuckles moaned in pain.

"Me, me, me, me, me!" Charmy hopped up and down excitedly.

'_Sigh',_ Shadow rested his forehead on the table. "Someone please kill me now", he murmured to himself.

* * *

And there you go! But don't worry, I might update later on tonight. If not, then tomorrow morning. Thank god for Thanksgiving break. Still, I might to take my time to do some chores around the house. Boring! You know what? I'm hungry for some pizza right now! How about you? XD R&R, thank you! P.S. TTYL means 'talk to ya later' in case you wanted to know…


	11. SUGAR SEIZURE TO THE MAX!

Are you ready to laugh some more? Well, here's the next chapter! I should warn you not to eat or drink anything as you read this, because…well…you'll be laughing your pants off, lol. Hope you enjoy! R&R as well. Thanks.

**

* * *

**

Chapter 11

Everyone started eating their pizza as soon as they grabbed a few pieces. Because Sonic and Knuckles were still in pain, they had to move their arms slowly up to bring their food to their mouths. On the other hand, Charmy and Shadow were eating like maniacs. Tails decided to ignore them and pour some Chaos Cola into the cups. He sat one in front of Shadow carefully and then gave one to both of his friends.

"Thanks", they said.

"Where's mine?" Charmy pouted.

"Hey, don't rush me, ok?" Tails narrowed his eyebrows. "Do I look like a waitress to you?"

"…Yes", the bee nodded with a smile.

"Pffft-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!" Sonic started laughing (while small pizza bits flew out of his mouth) until he choked on a pepperoni. He pounded his chest as he wheezed. He then drank his cola whilst Knuckles patted him on the back. "Whoo…whoo…" Sonic panted.

"_Dammit",_ Shadow snapped his fingers with frustration_. "And I thought today was going to be a good day."_

"There, are you happy now?" the fox gave Charmy a cup of soda.

"Thanks!" the bumble bee buzzed back to the couch and sat between the two injured heroes.

"I think you're making a big mistake", Shadow spoke.

"Why do you say that?" the golden fox looked back.

"Read the back."

Shrugging his shoulders, Tails grabbed the 2 liter bottle and turned it around. His eyes widened at a message that was placed in the middle. It read Warning: Do not give this to anyone who is hyper, crazy, infected with diabetes, has split personalities, or has ADHD. After looking at the message, the fox sat the bottle on the table and gulped.

"I think…we have a problem", he said quietly.

"Make that two", the black and red hedgehog held up two fingers.

"Why do you say that?"

To answer his question, Charmy and Sonic drank their colas nonstop. Shortly after that, their eyes widened as their bodies froze still. Knuckles glanced at them as he sweatdropped. He waved a hand in front of Charmy until it got easily tired (due to the pain). Tails was fiddling with his fingers as he whimpered in fear. Shadow kept his eyes on the two, prepared himself for anything. Suddenly, Sonic and Charmy started twitching and bouncing rapidly on the couch as they muttered some gibberish. The red echidna got up and moved away from them.

"Oh, this can't be good", he commented.

"Gee, you think?" Tails and Shadow said sarcastically.

And then…BOOM!!! Charmy and Sonic turned into little blurs as they bounced around the house wildly. The others tried to keep up with their moves, but their eyes got dizzy. Shadow looked at the back of the bottle and saw another message that read Beware: This product contains 20% more sugar. Whoever created this must've been idiotic. Continuing to bounce around like crazy, the sugar-hyper creatures began to create holes in the walls, knocking over some furniture, and ruining the ceiling.

"MY HOUSE!" Tails pulled his hair restlessly.

"Hmm…" the red echidna rubbed his chin. "Halt!" he held up a hand and Sonic stopped in front of him. "Calm down."

"I can't help it, I'm so hyper!" Sonic bounced up and down on his tepee toes. "SOOOOOOO HYPER!!" he pulled his hair.

"_Thank God I learned this from the movies",_ Knuckles thought confidently. He placed his left hand on Sonic's shoulder and started slapping him silly with his other hand. "Wake up, dammit!"

"Oww", the blue hedgehog rubbed his cheeks. "What happened? And why did you slap me? I'm not your housewife, you know."

"First of all, you had a sugar seizure attack. Second, it was the only way to wake you up. And third…what makes you think that you're my housewife, you idiot?!" Knuckles threw his hands up in the air.

"Um, where's Charmy-?" Tails looked around.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Charmy came out of nowhere and started hopping on Shadow's head like a trampoline. He didn't notice that Shadow's eyes were bouncing to the rhythm. "CHIKA-CHIKA YEAH!!" he flew off as the black hedgehog fell out of the chair. He went up the stairs.

"Look! He went that way", Sonic pointed.

"GRRRRRRR!!!" Shadow stood up as he crackled is fists. He marched up the stairs as the others followed him. He stopped once he reached to the top.

"Where'd he go?" Knuckles asked as he was standing behind the leader.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Charmy quickly zoomed to them, knocked them down the stairs and flew around the living room again.

The four creatures rolled backwards until they landed on the floor. From bottom to top lied Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow. The three got off of Sonic and noticed that his body was flat and wide as a pancake. Then they looked ahead and saw Charmy drinking the soda out of the bottle. He shook his head energetically as some foam came out of his mouth. Then he started flying around the place again. If no one thinks of something, then they'll be trapped under some rumble in a few minutes!

"My…house…" Tails sniffled with tears.

"YIPEE-YI-YAY!!" Charmy flew through a window, making a huge hole in it.

"My window!" the fox panicked. "Why must bad things always happen to me?" he grabbed his hair. He received a slap across the face.

"Would you shut up!?" Shadow yelled at his face. "Besides, you're the one who gave him some of that soda."

"And you're the babysitter", Knuckles shrugged his shoulders. "So I guess both of you should go stop him while I clean up the mess.

"Um…ok", Tails said uneasily. _"Oh, dear God, I have to work with the Devil! Lord, please forgive me",_ he thought with fear and sorrow.

"But first…" Shadow walked to his rival, got on one knee, and then puts his pinky finger in his mouth. He then sticks it in Sonic's ear.

"UGHHH!! Not wet willie, man!" he said as his body cringed by the feeling of saliva in his ear.

"Hmph", Shadow got up, wiped the ear wax on Tails' arm, and then ran outside.

"Thanks", the fox raised an eyebrow as he wiped off the nasty substance.

"Ooh!" the red echidna came up with an idea. He searched for a bogger with his thumb and then flicked it at Sonic.

"EWWWWW!!!" the blue hedgehog wiped the stuff off his face.

"_I'm surrounded by idiots",_ Tails rolled his eyes and went outside. "Do you see him?" he reached up the Shadow.

The black hedgehog pointed up to the sky and Tails looked up. They saw the hyper bee zooming through a flock of birds, causing them to scatter away in fear. He went up higher and then exploded into fireworks. Shadow and Tails sweatdropped at the scene. But then, Charmy flew around in many directions, making swirls in the sky. Suddenly, he stops to look around. Then he takes off to his right.

"Oh no!" Tails gasped. "He's heading for Station Square!"

"_And things couldn't get any worse",_ the black hedgehog slapped his forehead.

* * *

Meanwhile, everything and everyone in Station Square was going at its normal pace. The traffic, the people, the day itself, everything. That was until there was a sound of a car crash. Some of the citizens looked ahead and saw a damaged red van which crashed into streetlight pole. After that, they saw a bumble bee buzzing around and then headed towards everyone. They ducked down as he flew to the nearest candy store. He barged through the glass window and started gobbling down some sweets. Next, he went to a different store that sold cake. He crashed through the window, smashed his face on some chocolate cake, and started munching it like a dog. The bakers stared at him with confusion, repulsion, and horror.

"YUM!" Charmy lift his face up which was covered with chocolate icing.

"AAAAAHHHH!!" the employees ran away.

"Mmm!" the bee licked the icing off his face with his tongue like a cartoon character. "MUST. HAVE. MORE!!" he clenched his fists. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed manically as he flew through the town. Before long, he came across a Starbucks store and burst through the glass window. He grabbed a cup, pressed every button on the coffee machines, mixed everything together, and then drank it down. After that, his body shook rapidly as he laughed. "WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" he flew back out.

* * *

A while later, Shadow and Tails arrived on a rooftop of a department store. They looked around for the troublesome bumble bee, just in case. Down below, they saw a few stores with broken windows and a load of mess. All of that was definitely Charmy's fault. Just then, a pack of police cars drove through the same direction where the hyper insect was located.

"Oh, boy", Tails shook his head.

"Let's follow 'em", Shadow suggested and took off.

'_Sigh',_ the fox twisted his two tails and followed him.

* * *

In the middle of Main Street, the cops got out of their cars and pulled out their nets. Ahead of them, Charmy was chewing some skittles and M&M's at the same time. Once he got done, he burped loudly, and wiped his mouth. He was about to escape by flying, but he barely budged. Then it hit him. His belly was chubby and he couldn't get away! He gulped in fear. The last thing he needed was some jail time.

"Hey, I think he's giving up", a blonde cop said.

"He looks like he's out of energy", a brunette cop nodded.

"So what should we do?" the blonde cop asked.

Right on time, Shadow walked through the cops with his fists clenched and his eyebrows narrowed. They all stared at him, wondering what he was up to. Tails landed on top of a cop car as he watched. Yes, Shadow was angry at Charmy for causing so much trouble, but he had to try not to beat him up. It wasn't just because it was part of his test; it was also because there were cops behind him and he didn't want to get in trouble. He reached to the child and crossed his arms.

"I'm in trouble-(BURRRRRRRRP)-am I?" Charmy asked nervously.

"A lot of trouble", Shadow nodded.

"Can you pick me up?" the bee raised his hands.

'_Sigh',_ the black hedgehog slapped his forehead. Using his strength, he picked him up. "You could lose some weight", he pointed out.

"Uh-oh…" Charmy said sickly as his stomach grumbled and his face turned green. Before Shadow had time to react, the poor bumble bee puked all over his face and his upper body area. "My bad", he said and hiccupped.

"_Urge to kill rising",_ the black hedgehog thought fiercely.

* * *

Tsk, tsk, tsk…Oh, Charmy, when will you ever learn? Don't ever overdose on sweets! And poor Shadow, he got covered with puke. Yuck! What will happen next time? We shall find out next time! R&R, thank you!


	12. Story time!

Good news, no homework! Sweetness to the max! Previously, Charmy went overdose on sugar and puked on Shadow. LOL! Let's see what happens next for our favorite dark hero…

**

* * *

**

Chapter 12

"Ok, so then what happened?" Knuckles asked.

"Well, we did catch up to Charmy. And once we got there, he had a chubby belly", Tails told the story. "After that, he threw up on Shadow. And believe me Sonic; if you saw it for yourself, you would've laughed through the entire day", he turned to the blue hedgehog.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Sonic cracked up as he fell back on the couch. "Yeah, I would've!" he coughed a little. "And then I would've taken a picture of it and post it all over the internet." He continued to laugh as he held his stomach.

"_Its official",_ Tails thought as he rolled his eyes. _"I need new friends."_

"_Its official",_ Knuckles shook his head. _"Sonic needs to stop inhaling laughing gas and Tails needs to see a therapist."_

* * *

In the middle of the Mystic Ruins, Shadow was punching every tree down as he yelled and cussed above his lungs. He had to release his anger somehow, considering he couldn't put his hands on the little bumble bee. He wished he could do that. But then again, he could end up in trouble and Amy wouldn't speak to him again. So punching random trees seemed to be the only way to calm him down. Although, he was taking it a bit too seriously.

"JUST WHO THE HELL DOES ROUGE THINK SHE IS?! SENDING ME ALL THE WAY HERE IN THIS DAMN FOREST IN ORDER TO LOOK AFTER THAT LITTLE BRAT THAT CRYS, COMPLAINS, AND EATS SWEETS LIKE A MANIAC! GRRR!! AND HE MADE A BIG MISTAKE BY THROWING UP ON ME! AS SOON AS ROUGE AND THOSE OTHER TWO BUFFONS RETURN HOME, OOOOOOOHHHH, I'M GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES!!" the maddened hedgehog continued to yell as he destroyed some more trees.

"Hey, man", a blonde Hippie stood further away from him. "Why you gotta take it out on the trees, man?"

"Yeah", another Hippie with black hair threw his hands in the air. "Why take it out on the trees, man?"

"PISS OFF!" Shadow hollered as he glared at them with fiery eyes.

"Um, uh, ok", the blonde Hippie gulped.

"Yeah, um, we'll leave you alone now", the other Hippie backed away. Both of the Hippies took off running as they screamed in fear.

Eventually, Shadow was able to calm down and sat on a tree stump. A sigh escaped his lips. It was too bad that he had to suffer so much in one day. Maybe this whole test wasn't a good idea. Or better yet, Rouge should've waited longer until he was really ready to deal with Charmy. Two more days. Just two more days and Shadow wouldn't have to deal with the little pest for the rest of his life…hopefully.

After taking a couple deep breaths, he pulled out his Emerald and Chaos Controlled back to the Chaotix's household. It was quiet…Too quiet…Suspiciously, Shadow went up the stairs in order to see what Charmy was up to. He walked into the child's room and noticed him lying in his bed, moaning sickly to himself. His room was full of action hero posters, comic books all over the floor, and a huge Spongebob collection piled up in the far left corner. The black hedgehog shook his head. Now he knows why Vector and Espio couldn't stand him, besides the fact that he was annoying. Shadow walked to the child and crossed his arms.

"Go away", Charmy said weakly.

"I hope you've learned your lesson today", the babysitter tapped his foot.

"I sure did", the bee rubbed his stomach a little. "I am never gonna eat sweets like that ever again. Don't get me wrong, but once we got home, I couldn't stop throwing up for about 10 minutes."

"Hmph. Then I guess you should start eating healthier for now on."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's simple: Vegetables."

"Yuck", the bumble bee stuck out his tongue.

"Or you can die of diabetes for all I care. It doesn't matter to me anyway", Shadow shrugged his shoulders.

"What the heck are diabetes?"

"Trust me; once you get them, you're screwed."

"Thanks…But um, I just want to say that I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself."

"Sure you could. You could've stopped eating sweets when you had the chance."

"But they're soooooooooo good. Good grief, cut me some slack."

"Yeah, right", the black hedgehog shook his head. "Tomorrow, you WILL receive some punishment, whether you like it or not."

"That's BS!" Charmy protested as he sat up. He got flicked on the forehead. "Owwie!" he whined.

"You better watch your mouth, you little brat", Shadow said. _"Wait a minute",_ he thought strangely. _"I'm starting to sound a little bit like Amy. This is weird…"_

Around midnight, the black hedgehog was resting peacefully on the couch under a large blanket. Now that the day was all over, he could relax until tomorrow. However, he didn't want to think about the next two days with the loud insect. All he could think about was how much he missed his home, mostly Amy. He snored to himself as he was having a nice dream.

* * *

(Inside Shadow's subconscious…)

"_Hi, Shadow", Amy said seductively as she had on a pink bathrobe and her body was skinny again._

"_Hi", the black hedgehog smirked._

"_Are you ready for your anniversary present?" the pink hedgehog asked._

"_Oh, yeah", Shadow nodded and purred._

"_Well then…Let me unbutton my robe first", Amy began clip one button off one at a time in a slow pace. She opened her bathrobe, revealing her black corselet._

_**(BGM plays 'Let's get it on' by Marvin Gaye)**_

_**I've been really tryin , baby  
Tryin' to hold back these feelings for so long  
And if you feel, like I feel baby  
Come on, oh come on,**_

_**Let's get it on  
Lets get it on  
Let's get it on  
Let's get it on**_

"_Do you like my lingerie?" she asked with lust._

"_Oh, heck yes", Shadow replied as his quills popped up in the air._

"_Then come and get me", the pink hedgehog winked playfully as she waved a finger._

"_Hmm-hmm", the black hedgehog rubbed his hands together. "Come to Papa", he starts walking to her._

* * *

Suddenly, Shadow woke up as he heard some loud music. It seems like Charmy was listening to one of his idiotic songs. Shadow growled furiously as he clutched his blanket. And to think that he was going to get a good night sleep...

**(BGM plays 'Noma Numa Yei' by Ozone)**

**Ma-ia-hii  
Ma-ia-hoo  
Ma-ia-ha  
Ma-ia-ha-ha**

**(Repeats multiple times)**

**Alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,  
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.  
Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,  
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,  
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic**

**[Chorus]  
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,  
Nu ma, nu ma iei,  
Nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.  
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,  
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.  
[x2]**

Growling some more, he got off the couch and stomped up the stairs. He could hear the music coming from Charmy's room. Once he opened the door, the strong sound waves of the music sent him back into a wall. Struggling with all of his might, he got off the wall, covered his ears and went into the little brat's room. Of course, Charmy was wide awake jumping on the bed as he sang along. Shadow rushed to the stereo and unplugged it.

"Aw, man!" Charmy landed on the bed. His babysitter stomped to him slowly as he stared at him with rage. He gulped.

"Do you know what time it is?" Shadow seethed through his teeth as he clenched his fists.

"Um...Game time?"

"IT'S FREAKING MIDNIGHT FOR DAMN'S SAKE! GO TO SLEEP!" Shadow hollered at the top of his lungs.

"But I can't sleep", the bee fiddled with his fingers. "Will you tell me a bedtime story, please?"

"If I do, will you go to sleep?" the black hedgehog asked to make sure. Charmy nodded. "Fine. Where the heck are the books?" he looked around.

"Um…Somewhere", the bee swift his eyes to the side. "But forget the fairy tales. Tell me an action story!"

"Like what? I don't read comic books like you."

"Um…Ooh! Tell me how you defeated Black Doom. I wanna know soooo bad", the bee hopped a few times with anticipation.

"Hmm…" Shadow pondered to himself. _"I could tell him about that, but I don't want to reveal the part about Black Doom being my father. Maybe I can make it up. Yeah,"_ he nodded to himself. "Alright, kid", he sat on the edge of the bed as Charmy was his audience. "This is how it all started…"

* * *

(IMAGINATION TIME!)

"Haha! What now, suckers?!" Black Doom taunted the heroes as they were frozen by some gas. "You can't beat me now! AHAHAHAHA!!" he let out an evil laugh.

"Oh really now?" the black and red hedgehog smirked as he stood up.

"Crap", Black Doom sweatdropped. "Um, uh...Nyaah, nyaah, nyaah, nyaah, poo-poo! You can't catch me!" he teased the dark hero and then flew off.

"Oh, no you didn't", Shadow narrowed his eyebrows.

{Music insert: Green Forest from SA2B}

And so, he took off to find his enemy. On his way, he began to knock down the weak creatures that stood in his way. He did a few uppercuts and received 2000 points in total. Next, he did a couple of spinning kicks, earning 1000 points. After that, he did a handstand and spun his legs around like helicopter blades. He scored 5000 points. Moving on, he jumped over some spikes, swung some rope, and dodged a couple of sharp pendulums perfectly. He won about 3000 points. Out of nowhere, Evil Barney the Dinosaur landed in front of him and roared.

"Chaos Combo!" Shadow shouted. First, he punched the dinosaur in the gut. Second, he did an uppercut. Third, he did a couple of spinning kicks. While Evil Barney was seeing stars, Shadow kicked him sky high until he burst through the Black Comet.

"C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!" an announcer said as the dark hero received 10,000 points.

Continuing on, Shadow dashed with his fast speed, looking for the leader of the Black Arms. Suddenly, three figures appeared and he stopped. One of them was Scorpion (from Mortal Kombat), Nemesis (from Resident Evil 3), and a Shadow-Android. Shadow got in his fighting position as he growled.

"I know kung-fu!" Scorpion got in his fighting stance.

"STARRRRRRRSSS!!" Nemesis roared.

"And I'm the real Shadow", the hedgehog android crackled his fists. He and the other two jumped in the air and aimed a fist at the hedgehog.

"CHAOS…" Shadow focused on his power as his body turned dark red. "BLAST!!" he unleashed his attack, sending the three out of his sight.

"NICE SHOT!" the same announcer said and the hedgehog received 15,000 points.

"Vegeta!" Nappa looked back at his ally as they watched the whole thing. "What does his scouter say of his power level!?"

"IT'S OVER 9000!!" Vegeta took off his device and crushed it.

"WHAT, 9000!?" Nappa freaked out.

After defeating them, Mike Tyson, Slade (from Teen Titans), the Silver Surfer, and the Joker, Shadow reached to a large room which was a dead end. His final score was over a million points. The walls were bloody red, a black chandelier was hanging from the ceiling, and there were death prints all over the area. Up ahead, Black Doom had his arms crossed.

{Music Insert: 'Garrador Theme' from Resident Evil 4}

"So you've come", he said.

"Black Doom, this ends here and now!" the black and red hedgehog pointed at him.

"Oh, I beg to differ", Black Doom rolled his three eyes. "I have a surprise for you." He snapped his fingers. Jigsaw came down from the ceiling as he did his creepy laugh.

"Hello, Shadow", the sinister puppet glanced at the target. "We're about to play a game."

"Is that so?" Shadow crossed his arms.

"Yes", Jigsaw said. "In this test, you'll-"

{Music Insert: 'Crank the Heat Up!!' from SADX}

"RAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRR!!!" Rambo appeared and blasted him with two assault rifles.

"Oww", Jigsaw said, who was on the ground in tiny pieces.

"Gracias", Shadow turned to his partner.

"What is this!?" Black Doom back away.

Right on time, a couple of Hummers drove through the walls. Each of them seated about 6 people. They all got out. One group had Spiderman, Chun-Li (from Street Fighter), Blade (from the movie 'Blade'), Paul Phoenix (from Tekken), Neo (from the Matrix), and Chris Redfield (in his Resident Evil 5 style). The other group contained Naruto Uzumaki (from 'Naruto'), Chuck Norris, Samurai Jack, Goku (from DBZ), Ichigo Kurosaki (from 'Bleach'), and Jet Li. Black Doom snapped his fingers and assembled a thousand overgrown Heartless (lol, from Kingdom Hearts). They all battled fiercely like it was no tomorrow. Of course, the heroes were winning.

"Ah, hell no!" Black Doom pulled his hair. He pulled out a stink bomb and threw it.

"STINK BOMB!!" Chris pointed.

{Music Insert: Sad violins}

But it was too late. The bomb exploded and everyone coughed hardly. The smell of the bomb was mixed with smelly underwear, car fuel, tofu, raw eggs, dead pigs, sweat, used condoms and tampons, and funky breath. Every team member clutched their necks as they collapsed to the ground in slow motion. Only Shadow was still able to breathe as he covered his mouth and shaded his eyes.

"You know what they say: FRIENDSHIP IS A BITCH!" the ugly alien flipped them off with two middle fingers. "Or maybe that's karma..." he pondered to himself.

"It's up…to you, Shadow", Spiderman panted. Unfortunately for him, his mask got ripped and he was suffocating.

"Don't let him win", Ichigo said and coughed a little.

"You can do it, Shadow", Naruto said weakly.

"I wanted to have your babies, but I've just found out that bestiality's a crime", Chun-Li panted and then died.

"Good luck, comrade", Rambo closed his eyes slowly.

"You're our only hope", Samurai Jack spoke.

"Don't give up", Goku said and then blacked out.

"I'm done here…" Blade coughed.

"Remember the training that we went through", Jet Li panted until he ran out of oxygen in his lungs.

"It's been fun", Paul Phoenix chuckled a little. "Ughhh…" he blacked out.

"Take care of Claire for me", Chris said his last words.

"You must win…for us", Neo slowly went into his eternal sleep.

"This sucks", Chuck Norris said. "Bleh", he died.

"Oh, yeah! What now!?" Black Doom started dancing.

{Music insert: 'All Hail Shadow (Remix' by Crush 40}

"Ok, since you've destroyed my own A-Team, I'm gonna kick your ass", the dark hedgehog clenched his fists.

"Uh-oh", Black Doom gulped. Then he disappeared.

Gathering the power of the Chaos Emeralds, Shadow turned into Super Shadow. After that, he disappeared. Outside the ARK, Black Doom transformed into Devil Doom as he roared.

**All hail Shadow!  
Heroes rise again!  
Obliterating everything that's not your friend!  
Nothing can stop you now,  
No ghost to bring you down!  
When there's nothing left to lose, you win!**

"Come and get me!" Devil Doom yelled.

"Here I come, you freak!" Super Shadow charged at him.

**(Bow your heads low, all hail Shadow!)  
(Bow your heads low, all hail Shadow!)**

**Suffer long and it will set you free,  
Only through trial do we find the strength we need!  
It's never over, just another day!  
Of hope and tragedies, and everything that comes our way!**

Devil Doom blew out some fire, but they were easily dodged by the super hedgehog. Then he forms fire balls and throws them at him. Super Shadow launched his Super Chaos Spear and their attacks collide, causing an explosion. D-Doom backed away as he charged his new power.

**Determination of the strong!  
Found the meaning that you searched for so long!**

"I'MA FIRIN' MY LAZAR!!" he opened his mouth and let a large red laser beam come out his mouth.

"Chaos Reverse!" S-Shadow formed a shield, gathered the laser's power and launched it back to the monster.

"UGHHH!!" D-Doom groaned as he lost a tentacle.

**All hail Shadow!  
Heroes rise again!  
Obliterating everything that's not your friend!  
Nothing can stop you now,  
No ghost to bring you down!  
When there's nothing left to lose, you win!**

**(Bow your heads low, all hail Shadow!)  
(Bow your heads low, all hail Shadow!)**

S-Shadow charged at him as he let out a war cry. D-Doom flew up and blew out some more fire. The super hedgehog dodged his attacks rapidly. D-Doom disappeared and left S-Shadow looking around. He reappeared behind him and grabbed him with his big tentacle. The dark hero grunted as he felt his body being squeezed tightly.

**Somewhere in chaos we all find ourselves!  
This destruction is the only tale we tell.  
White is black, and black is white,  
Right is wrong, and wrong is right!  
Nothing ever fills this hole inside your heart!**

"Haha! Got you now, hedgehog!" D-Doom chuckled.

"Super Chaos Blast!" S-Shadow charged up his power and got free from D-Doom's grasp.

"No, my other tentacle!" D-Doom said with anger. "Ok, now I'm pissed!" he flew back and inhaled some air. He let out a huge burp, casing S-Shadow to cover his mouth.

**Determination of the strong!  
Found the meaning that you searched for so long!**

**All hail Shadow!  
Heroes rise again!  
Obliterating everything that's not your friend!  
Nothing can stop you now,  
No ghost to bring you down!  
When there's nothing left to lose, you win!**

"Oh, is that all you got?" S-Shadow smirked.

"Erm…" D-Doom sweatdropped.

"This is the end, Black Doom", the super hedgehog said courageously. "For today, you'll die in Hell!"

"No! This can't be!" D-Doom panicked.

"THIS IS SPARTA!!" S-Shadow charged at him as he glowed brightly. He went through D-Doom's body multiple times.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" D-Doom screamed and then exploded into a billion pieces.

**All hail Shadow!  
Heroes rise again!  
Obliterating everything that's not your friend!  
Nothing can stop you now,  
No ghost to bring you down!  
When there's nothing left to lose, you win!**

**(Bow your heads low, all hail Shadow!)  
(Bow your heads low, all hail Shadow!)**

**[Song ends.]**

On planet Earth, everyone celebrated as they hugged their loves ones, did some break dancing, and threw their hats in the air. Somehow, Sonic and the others were back on the planet as they watched the whole thing.

"Yay!!" Amy cheered.

"Epic", Knuckles spoke.

"Nice…" Rouge nodded with a smile.

"I think…I'm going to respect him now", Tails said as he continued to gaze at the sky.

"Show off", Sonic crossed his arms.

"Ooh, a bakery sale!" Eggman looked to his left. "I'll deal with you all later", he warned them and ran to get his snack on.

"Whatever you say, fat egg", Sonic rolled his eyes.

In the middle of the street, Shadow returned as he was back to normal. The citizens applauded as he took a few bows. Amy had hearts in her eyes, Rouge gave him a thumb's up, Knuckles nodded, Tails clapped as well, and Sonic looked away with jealousy.

"Shadow, marry me!" Amy ran to the dark hedgehog.

"I want to be your sidekick!" Tails followed her.

"What?!" Sonic looked at them shockingly.

"To bad so sad, sucks to be you", Knuckles let out a chuckle.

"It looks like he has your spotlight now", Rouge looked at the blue hedgehog with a small smirk.

"But…But…" the blue hedgehog sniffled. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" he wailed with anime tears.

"Marry me!" the pink hedgehog glomped on Shadow.

"I love you, Shadow!" a female squirrel hugged him as well.

"Me too!" a pack of girls surrounded the hero of the town.

"Hmm…Time for a sex party", Shadow smirked.

* * *

(END OF IMAGINATION!)

"And that's the end-" the hedgehog finished his story but was interrupted by some snoring. He looks down on his lap and sees Charmy sleeping like a baby. To be honest, he never thought the kid would like his made up story. Carefully, he picks him up and tucks him in. _"For some reason…when he's asleep, he doesn't look like a threat",_ he thought. "Still…" he whispered to himself. He didn't want to admit it, but Charmy looked…kind of cute when he's sleeping. _"Oh, for peace sakes…" _he rubbed his eye temples. "…Night, kid", he said and then Chaos Controlled back to the living room. He collapsed on the couch and fell into deep slumber.

* * *

Wow, that was the best bedtime story ever! My arms hurt now and I need to go to bed. If there are any errors, I'll fix them tomorrow. R&R, thank you!


	13. Breakfast and Chores

Hooray! Thanksgiving break is here! No homework, but I do have to do a little house work. Oh, well. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 13

(The next morning…)

"Shadow?" Charmy shook the hedgehog. "Shadow? C'mon, Shadow, I'm hungry. It's breakfast time."

"Ugh, leave me alone", Shadow waved a hand to get lost. "I'm trying to get my freak on…" he snored to himself.

"Jerk", the bee crossed his arms. "Fine. Then I guess I'll have to do it myself", he flew to the kitchen.

Minutes later, Shadow's ears twitched as he heard the fire detector going off. He lifts his head up groggily and notices that there was smoke forming all over the place. At that moment, he quickly got off the couch and pulled out his Chaos Emerald. Once he performed Chaos Control, he ran pass the smoke with his face covered and reached to the kitchen. He could see Charmy backed up against the wall with a frightened look on his face. Then he glances at a flaming toaster and the eggs burning on the pan. Up ahead, a fire extinguisher was placed against the wall. Shadow grabbed it and sprayed it all over the kitchen. After that, he turned off the stove, unplugged the toaster, and opened a couple windows for the smoke to go out. Right on time, his ability wore off.

"Huh?" the bumble bee blinked twice.

"What the heck is wrong with you?!" Shadow threw his hands up in the air. "Are you trying to get us killed?!"

"You wouldn't wake up, so I thought of making my own breakfast. It's against the law to starve a child."

"Is that so? Take a look around."

Gulping to himself, Charmy looked around the kitchen. The toaster was burned to bits, the eggs were dark circles, and the cabinets above the stove and the counter were covered in black. The little insect turned to his babysitter, who had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot. Looks like he was in VERY big trouble.

"Oops", the bee said with a nervous smile.

"Oops is right", Shadow said. "You gotta clean everything up."

"I can't touch the stove. It's hot!" Charmy shook his head. "Not only that, I am soooooooooo hungry", he floated to the floor as he had a hand on his head dramatically.

'_Sigh'._

* * *

Amy was fixing some breakfast as she sighed. She's been pretty lonely ever since yesterday morning. Time after time, she wondered if her lover was doing alright with Charmy. But she had faith in him, so she didn't worry too much. Still, she needed some company. All of the sudden, Shadow and Charmy appeared in the living room by Chaos Control.

"Morning, guys", Amy turned to them with a smile.

"I'll take bacon, eggs, sausage, toast, pancakes, waffles, muffins, and everything else on the menu, please", the hungry child raised a hand.

"Well, I don't think I can make all of that, Charmy. How come you're not eating at your house?"

"Yes, Charmy. Do tell", Shadow turned to the bee disapprovingly.

"Well, uh…I tried to make some toast and eggs, but I almost burned the kitchen down", Charmy fiddled with his fingers.

"You didn't get hurt, did you?" Amy asked with concern.

"Nah-uh", the child shook his head. "Shadow was able to save my life."

"Aww, that's so sweet."

"_Please",_ the black and red hedgehog rolled his eyes. He walked to the table and took a seat. Charmy took a seat next to him.

Once Amy got done cooking, she sat two plates on the table for the boys. Both of them had pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and sausages. Without hesitation, Shadow and Charmy began to eat their food like wild animals. The pink hedgehog rolled her eyes. Neither one of them knew anything about table manners. As she watched the two eat, she suddenly imagined Charmy as a younger version of Shadow. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes.

"_That was weird",_ she thought to herself. She sat down and started her breakfast in a more polite way.

"More please!" Charmy raised his plate.

"Are you serious?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Now, Charmy, you got enough to eat already", Amy said as she began to cut her pancakes into pieces. "So you might as well rest your stomach until lunch."

"Ok", the bee sighed as he sat his plate down.

"_Wait a minute", _the black hedgehog raised an eyebrow. "Amy, come with me right quick", he got up and went to the bedroom.

"Um, alright", Amy followed him. "We'll be right back, Charmy."

"Can I watch TV?" the bee asked.

"Sure."

"Sweet!" Charmy flew to the TV and turned it on. He grabbed the remote and started channel surfing.

Making sure that the kid wouldn't disturb them, Shadow closed the door. Amy was sitting on the bed, wondering what was going on. The black hedgehog took a seat next to her.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Lemme ask you this", Shadow spoke. "How come when I tell him what to do he barely listens, but when you tell him what to do he listens?"

"Well, of course you're a parent in training", Amy pondered. "And maybe you should be a little nice to him. Treat him as you want to be treated. That way you two can get along."

'_Sigh'._

"So what did you guys do yesterday?"

"Well, he wouldn't stop crying about 'hanging out' with Faker and his friends, so we went to the foxboy's place. After that, we started having pizza. However, that fox idiot gave Charmy some Chaos Cola, making him have a sugar rush and then nearly destroyed the place. After that, he ate so many sweets and threw up on me!"

"Eww", Amy scooted away from him. "Did you take a shower?"

"Yes, but I need another one", Shadow got up and went to the bathroom. "I forgot to get a towel", he came out and went to the linen closet. Then he went back in the bathroom.

While he was taking his shower, Amy washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen for a little bit. Charmy was still watching TV, but all he could find to watch was the Power Rangers. He began to mimic their moves as he made some fighting noises. The pink hedgehog giggled at that scene. She thought that he looked so cute trying to imitate the colorful characters on the television. But then, she had an idea. She tip toed to the bedroom and closed the door. After that, she snuck in the bathroom as she heard Shadow whistling in the shower. Snickering to herself, she flushed the toilet and ran out.

"Gah, its cold!" the black hedgehog flinched as he felt the cold water on him. Once he quickly got done, he stomped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hmm…" he looked around the room. First, he checked around and under the bed. Second, he took a peek outside the room and only saw Charmy doing some strange karate movements. Lastly, he looked in the closet and see Amy giggling to herself.

"Oh, no. What ever shall I do?" she said in pretend fright.

"I think it's time for me to teach you a lesson", the black hedgehog pulled her out of the closet with a smirk.

"Oh really now?" Amy said.

"Really." He pulled her into a kiss and they took it to the bed. He heard her giggle as he took her hands and flung them over her head gently. Seductively, he began to kiss her neck as she moaned a little.

"Hey, where'd everybody go-?" Charmy flew in until he saw what the two hedgehogs were doing on the bed. "I'll save you, Amy!" he flew to her rescue.

"What the-?" Shadow got up and turned around. He got knocked off the bed by the irritating bumble bee.

"Take that, you fiend! I know kung-fu!" Charmy got in his fighting position.

"Um, Charmy?" the pink hedgehog sat up awkwardly.

"Don't worry Amy", the bee smiled at her. "You can thank me later."

"GRRRRR!!!" Shadow stood up as he clenched his fists. "Can't you see that we're having some alone time here!?"

"A…Alone time?" the bee scratched his head. "Oh…Now I know what Vector meant by that a long time ago."

"Really?" the black hedgehog crackled his fists.

"Eep! Help me, Amy!" Charmy flew to her and hugged her for protection.

"Maybe you shouldn't resolve this with violence, Shadow", Amy shrugged her shoulders.

"Hmph", Shadow narrowed his eyebrows. He glanced over at the bumble bee.

'She's hott', Charmy mouthed as he pointed to Amy's chest.

"Hey", Shadow snapped his fingers. "Look up here, not there", he pointed to his eyes.

"Looks who's talking", Charmy rolled his eyes.

"Oh, boy", the pink hedgehog slapped her forehead.

"_Ok, now I'm pissed",_ Shadow thought as his left eyebrow twitched. "Get out", he pointed to the door.

"Jerk", Charmy murmured to himself as he went back to the living room.

"I think he's confused right now", Amy whispered.

"He needs to learn how to knock", Shadow crossed his arms. "I swear I just want to squeeze the living shit out of him."

"Oh, Shadow", the pink hedgehog chuckled. "You can't do that. He's just a little child."

"Then how am I supposed to release my anger?"

"Use this", Amy opened the drawer, took out a red ball and threw it to him. "It's a stress ball. Use it when you can't control your anger."

"…" Shadow looked down at the ball and sweatdropped. "I might as well. But isn't this yours?"

"Mine's pink. I thought of getting you one just in case."

"Hm."

* * *

A little while later, Shadow and Charmy said goodbye to Amy and returned to the Chaotix's house. Of course, the place still smelled like smoke. Not only that, the kitchen was still a mess. The bumble bee gulped as he fiddled with his fingers. He'll probably receive some more punishment since he got too close to Amy while Shadow was there.

"I'm in trouble now, am I?" he dared to ask.

"A lot", Shadow replied. "Instead of receiving some physical punishment, you're going to clean up the entire house."

"Aw, man…" Charmy lowered his head.

And so, he was sent to the kitchen in order to clean up the mess. He put on two oven mittens so he could throw away the burned toaster. After that, he put the burnt pan in the sink. Through the entire hour, he washed the dishes, swept the floor, and cleaned the table, cabinets and the oven counter. He also cleaned the refrigerator as well as the microwave and windows. When he finally finished, he zoomed to the living room seeing Shadow watching an action movie.

"Am I done now?" he asked tiredly.

"Clean your room", Shadow ordered.

Instead of complaining, the little bee went to his room. He picked up his comic books and sat them on his desk. Next, he made up his bed and made sure that the pillows and the covers looked as good as new. After that, he put his entire Spongebob collection in his toy box. Then, he dusted the furniture, wiped the glass window, and vacuumed the carpet. He panted exhaustedly as he went to Shadow.

"Now am I done?" he asked.

"Hmm…" his babysitter pondered. He kicked off his shoes. "Rub my feet."

"Are you kidding me?!" the bee threw his hands up in the air.

"I'm the babysitter, so you should do what I say. And one more thing, raise your voice again, and you're gonna see the hospital", Shadow warned.

"_Jerk",_ Charmy flew to his 'babysitter' and began to rub his feet. "What time is it?"

"4 o'clock."

"Can I get something to eat?"

"When you get done."

"I understand the whole cleaning the house part, but why am I rubbing your feet?"

"Let's just say it's an extra punishment for touching my girl. Would you rather have a black eye instead?"

"Um, uh, no thanks!" Charmy rubbed his feet faster with fear.

"Hmph", Shadow smirked. "Damn, I'm so cool."

* * *

LOL! Tsk, tsk, tsk, Charmy, Charmy, Charmy. Lesson learned: Don't ever touch Shadow's woman. And speaking of chores, I gotta do some because we're having Thanksgiving at my house. I am so excited to eat. =) Hope you enjoyed the chapter. R&R! And have a happy and safe Thanksgiving! Adios!


	14. Bad, Bokkun, bad!

Aloha! How was your Thanksgiving? Mine was delicious. We got a lot of leftovers, so I won't starve lol. Are you ready for this new chapter? Well, prepare yourselves; because you're gonna have a good laugh! XD

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Chapter 14

Charmy began to chow down some of his TV dinner as he watched another episode of Spongebob. He was able to get a break, considering he had to clean almost the entire house. As of Shadow, he sat in the kitchen, looking at his watch. It was 4:45. Time was going really slow today for the poor hedgehog. It wouldn't be long until the bumble bee would begin to get on his nerves again. There has to be some way to make him run out of energy like the other day. However, sweets don't seem to be the answer this time. Running out of ideas, Shadow pulled out his cell phone and contacted Rouge.

"Konichiwa!" the bat-girl answered.

"Konichi-what?" Shadow sweatdropped.

"It means 'hello' in Japanese."

"Whatever. Anyway, I need some help again."

"What is it this time?"

"I need you to tell me how I get that little brat to go to sleep."

"Well, it's too early for him to sleep first off. And considering that he's very energetic, he needs to use all of his energy in order to be tired."

"That's why I called you. I don't know what to do."

"Take him to the amusement park."

"…No."

"Why not?"

"I hate that place. There's too many people. But the worst part is there are too many kids!"

"Duh, it's called an amusement park for a reason. Look, just take Charmy there and let him play around for a couple of hours. That way he'll be tired in no time!"

"I hope you're right."

"I'm always right. Anyway, I gotta go now. I got me a date."

"That doesn't surprise me", Shadow said. "Just don't come home pregnant tonight."

"Grr! Why you…you…Shut up!" Rouge yelled and then hung up.

"_She has issues",_ Shadow closed his phone.

"Hey, Shadow, guess what!" Charmy flew in and dumped the plastic plate and silverware in the trash.

"What?" the black hedgehog shrugged.

"I'm bored", the bee replied. His babysitter placed his forehead on the table angrily. "Why'd you hit your head like that?"

"Don't ask", Shadow murmured.

"So what are we gonna do?"

'_Sigh',_ the hedgehog lift his head up "Ever heard of an amusement park?"

"OHMYGOD, ILOVEAMUSEMENTPARKS!" Charmy came up to him with a VERY big smile.

"Ok…" Shadow took a finger and moved the bee back slowly. "I guess you wanna go, right?" The bee nodded a few times. "Fine", he stood up, pulled out his Emerald and the two vanished by a flash.

* * *

Funworld. The place full of excitement. The place full of fun. There were lots of kids playing, laughing, and riding on rides as their parents/guardians watched them. The employees, however, weren't excited to be at work. Yes, they can't stand children. Most of them were breaking up fights, fighting over a stolen stuff animal, and making sure that they were tall enough to ride some roller coasters. Behind an empty tent, Shadow and Charmy appeared.

"Hey, how come you didn't pay to get us in?" Charmy asked.

"Do I feel like wasting $30 each for this crummy place?" Shadow crossed his arms.

"Erm…" the child pondered. "Oh, well. I wanna ride some rides!"

"Ok, ok, just calm down", the black hedgehog started walking around with the bee following him.

"OOOOOOHHHH!!" Charmy pointed at the spinning tea-cup ride. "I call that!" he zoomed to the line.

"Whatever", Shadow stood there with his arms crossed.

As soon as Charmy got in a green tea cup, he sat down and fastened his seatbelts. The employee yawned as he pressed a couple of buttons. At first, the tea-cups began to spin slowly, so that way the kids could get used to it. Then, they began to go a little bit faster as the kids cheered. Shadow yawned as he looked at his watch. Suddenly, his eyes spotted a familiar black robot tip toeing to the machine. He was at Charmy's height, had yellow eyes, a sort of big yellow 'M' on his stomach, wore red shoes, and also had a jet pack on his back. He pinched the employee and hid in the bushes. With the employee distracted, the creature pressed a button and made the tea-cups spin faster. He snickered evilly as he took off.

"Oh, shoot!" the male employee pressed a stop button.

"WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAA!" Charmy flew out of his seat and headed towards Shadow. The black hedgehog took a step to the side and let him crash through a cut-out poster of Elmo.

"_Close one",_ Shadow thought. _"But that thing…Was that Bokkun? I guess I gotta keep a look-out for him, just in case."_

* * *

(10 minutes later…)

"PLEEEEEEAASSSSSSEE? Can we ride this thing?" Charmy begged his babysitter to go on a scary looking roller coaster ride.

"You know you're gonna get scared, right?" Shadow pointed out.

"Yeah, right", the bee said with a smile. "Like that's ever gonna happen."

Unfortunately, he went through the entire thing, screaming like a baby. On the other hand, Shadow sat there with his arms crossed as he yawned. Unlike the kid, he wasn't scared at the decorations and the speed that the ride was going. After they got off, Charmy flew to a trashcan and threw up in it. The black hedgehog slapped his forehead. He looked ahead and noticed Bokkun tip toeing to a colorful clown with an evil smirk. He grabbed a hold of his pants and pulled them down, revealing the clown's pokey-dotted underwear. The kids around him laughed as they pointed at him.

"_Wait",_ Shadow rubbed his eyes. _"Am I the only one who can see that thing? Or is that everyone's stupid?"_

* * *

(15 minutes later…)

"WEEEEEEEEE!!!" Charmy shouted out as he was on the merry-go-round.

'_Sigh',_ Shadow crossed his legs as he sat on the bench. He noticed the same robot sneaking some cotton candy in his mouth while no one was in sight. Figuring out that he needs to get to the bottom of this, he walks to the robot.

"Yum-yum!" the mean robot said.

"Hey, kid", Shadow came up to him. "You're Bokkun, aren't cha?"

"Um…_" _Bokkun gulped down his food. "Yeah. What's in it to you?" he asked rudely.

"Look", Shadow picked him up by the head. "I'm already having a bad day, so you better not make it worse."

"Ok, fine", Bokkun sighed in defeat. "But hey, I got you a present!" he pulled out a small red and white box. Foolishly, Shadow took it and opened it. After that, the box exploded, causing his face to be completely black. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Bokkun flew off teasingly.

"GRRRRRR!!!" Shadow wiped his face. He looked over at Charmy, who was still on the ride. "I'll get him later", he said to himself and went to look for the little troublemaker.

* * *

Meanwhile, Bokkun was looking around to see what else he could do to stir some problems. He saw a very expensive piano placed on a grassy area and rubbed his chin. As he as he thought of an idea, he snapped his fingers with a smirk. A little while later, Shadow reached to the exact spot and looked around. Up ahead, he saw Bokkun holding the piano with some rope above a little red fox eating her ice cream. The robot snickered and released the piano.

"Kid, move!" Shadow dashed to the rescue. He pushed the little girl out of the way, but ended up getting smashed by the piano.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Bokkun laughed again as he flew away.

"WHAAAAAAHHHH!!" the red fox wailed after her scary experience.

"Oww…" the black hedgehog murmured in pain.

* * *

Sometime later, Bokkun saw a puppet show going on and came up with another evil plan. He tip toed to the back of the stage and pulled out a time bomb. After that, he pulled out a switch that had a big red button in the middle. Around the time, Shadow was still looking for him as he rubbed his back like an old man. He noticed Bokkun up to no good again and slapped his forehead. Why does that thing have an obsession of blowing things up? Instead of taking the risk of getting hurt again, Shadow went behind a candy shop and pulled out his Chaos Emerald. He used Chaos Control to stop time. Once that was out of the way, he walked to Bokkun and picked him up. With his other hand, he grabbed the bomb and walked off. Soon enough, he reached to an empty grassy area. With some seconds to spare, he placed the bomb on a tree and sat Bokkun in front of it. He clapped the dust off his hands and walked off. Eventually, everything started moving again.

"Suckers!" Bokkun pressed the button. The bomb exploded behind him, causing a lot of smoke to circle around him. He coughed as he ran out of the area. Suddenly, he bumped into someone and fell back. He looked up and noticed Shadow with his arms crossed. "Oh, uh…Hey there. Heh-heh-heh", he chuckled nervously.

* * *

Inside a hidden base, Eggman, Decoe and Bocoe were playing BINGO. So far, Decoe was winning as most of his card was almost full. Eggman on the other hand was growling as his face turned red. Bocoe was the announcer.

"N-34!" he said.

"BINGO!" Decoe cheered.

"GRRRRR!! I hate this game!" the evil scientist shoved everything off the table.

"Ah, man. Now I have to start over", the yellow robot complained.

"Good!"

A sudden flash appeared next to them as they jumped and backed away. Eggman sighed, because it was only Shadow holding Bokkun by the head.

"What brings you here?" he asked rudely.

"Here!" Shadow threw Bokkun to him.

"Hey, hey!" Eggman caught Bokkun. "What's the big idea?!"

"I think the better question is where he has been through the whole time", Bocoe crossed his arms.

"Yeah!" Decoe agreed. "You were supposed to get some parts for our new weapon!"

"What?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Um, uh, nothing!" Decoe rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Yeah, uh…You're grounded!" Eggman told the little robot, trying to hide his plans.

"Crap", Bokkun lowered his head.

"Well, it was nice seeing you", Eggman said with a fake smile. "You can leave now."

"Whatever", Shadow pulled out his Emerald and vanished.

"You idiot!" Dr. Eggman shouted at Decoe. "You almost blew our cover!"

"Sorry, doctor!" Decoe bowed his head a few times with shame.

"And as for you", Eggman held Bokkun up a little. "Where have you been?"

"Um, uh, I got you a present!" Bokkun pulled out a blue box.

"Ooh!" the rounded scientist took the box. "For me?" he opened it.

BOOM! The entire are was covered with smoke as the fire alarms went off. Eggman started coughing as the two robots chased after Bokkun.

* * *

Back with Shadow, he returned to the amusement park and looked around for Charmy. Suddenly, a group of people ran by as they screamed in fear.

"Run for your lives!" a male human shouted.

"There's a mad bumble bee on the loose!" a male duck shouted after him.

"Don't tell me", Shadow said suspiciously.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Charmy flew by with some cotton candy in his left hand and a bag of gummy worms in the other hand. He went to look for some more sweets to eat.

"Not again", Shadow slapped his forehead.

* * *

LOL! Charmy's at it again! And Bokkun, you need to go to time out! Hope you've enjoyed this chapter! See ya next time!


	15. And here comes Mephiles

Hello, I'm back again. And here's the good news, I was able to get a great idea for this chapter. Let's just say another famous Sonic character appears in this fic. Guess who it is! GUESS! Well, enjoy the chapter. And remember, I don't own the characters.

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Chapter 15

"Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmm…" a mysterious hedgehog chuckled evilly as he hid under a tree. "Now that I have unexpectedly returned to this world, I can finally take my revenge on Shadow the Hedgehog. Now, how am I going to do that without him knowing my plans?" he rubbed his chin. He suddenly saw a group of people running away.

"MAD BEE ON THE LOOSE!" a random male screamed.

"WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" a hyper bumble bee flew by with some cotton candy in his hands. He went between two tents and headed for the fountain area.

"Bingo", the evil creature narrowed his eyebrows.

Secretly, Charmy found a bench and took a seat on it. He looked around, in case Shadow was looking for him. With a hungry smile on his face, he took a couple big bites of his light pink cotton candy. As he chewed happily, someone was creeping behind him. Once he heard some footsteps, he stopped eating his snack and looked back with fear. The person that was behind him was a black hedgehog that looked like Shadow. However, this hedgehog had gray streaks on his body, gray bracelets, sharp green eyes, and didn't have a mouth. Charmy lowered his jaws in shock as some of the cotton candy dripped down on the bench.

"Who the heck are you?" he asked.

"My name is Mephiles. Mephiles the Dark!" the dark hedgehog introduced himself as some dramatic music came on. "MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" he laughed evilly to himself.

"Um, dude, you're laughing too loud, you know", the bee sweatdropped. "Anyway, my name is Charmy. Are you Shadow's twin brother or something?"

"Hmm…Shadow?" Mephiles said in pretend curiosity. "Who is this Shadow?"

"Oh, he is this mean hedgehog that does nothing but yell, complain, and tell me what to do", Charmy flew up as he continued chewing on his snack. "Not only that, he says bad words a lot, he doesn't like Spongebob…" He continued to talk bad about his babysitter as some pieces of his food flew onto Mephiles' face. He didn't bother to notice that the hedgehog was growling to himself.

"ENOUGH!" Mephiles hollered and the bee shuts his mouth. "I mean, I see", he said with fake kindness. "Maybe I can help you out", he wipes the cotton candy and the kid's saliva off his face.

"Yeah, right", Charmy crossed his arms. "I'm not allowed to talk to strangers."

"Skittles?" the hedgehog pulled out a large pack of sour flavored skittles.

"OOOHHHHH!! GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!!" the bee nodded with cheerfulness.

"Not yet", Mephiles shook his head. "I want you to do something for me."

"Question!" the bee raised his hand.

"What?"

"How can you talk when you don't have a mouth? And heck, how were you born without one?"

"Nobody's perfect, Charmy."

"Yeah, but no one's born without a mouth."

"LISTEN!" Mephiles yelled with rage. "I mean, listen, little boy", he cleared his throat. "I need you to help me get something. That way I can award you with some Skittles."

"Ok, like what?" the bee asked with interest.

"Well…It's well…Something very valuable."

"Ooh, I got it! Be right back!" Charmy flew off.

"Wait! I didn't say that you could leave!" the black and gray hedgehog called out for him. After 5 minutes of waiting, his 'right hand man' returned with a red hat. "A hat? Are you serious?" the hedgehog raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it seems valuable to me", Charmy smiled. "It even says I'm #1 on it", he showed it to him. "Not only that, I got this for free!"

"I…I guess I could take this", Mephiles slowly took the hat. "Perhaps I should've been more specific. What I'm looking for is something shiny."

"Shiny? Ooh, be right back!" Charmy took off again.

"Wait!" the hedgehog hollered orderly.

Ignoring him, the bumble bee flew around the area, looking for something shiny. Suddenly, he saw a stand that had a sign that read Shiny, shiny, shiny! on it. A smile appeared on his face as he went to take a look. All there was some expensive looking mirrors placed on the wall. No one was running the business strangely. Shrugging his shoulders, the child took a small circular shaped mirror and flew back to his new friend.

"How about this?" he asked.

"A mirror?" Mephiles sweatdropped. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Look, it reflects the sunlight!" Charmy tipped the object back and forth in order to flash the sun ray at the hedgehog.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Mephiles screamed in pain as he fell back. "MY EYES!"

* * *

(Meanwhile…)

"I am going to ask you this one more time", Shadow tapped his foot. "Where did you see a little bumble bee fly off to?"

"Uhhhhhhhh…" Big tried to remember.

"Forget it", the black hedgehog slapped his forehead.

"Duh, have you seen Froggy?" the fat cat asked.

"No, and I don't care", Shadow stomped away from him rudely.

"Ohh…" Big watched him walk off. "Froggy? Where are you?" he called out as he went off on his own.

"_I swear as soon as I find that little brat, I am going to choke him",_ the fuming hedgehog thought as he crackled his fists.

* * *

(Back with the other two…)

"My bad", the bee rubbed the back of his head.

"DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE BAD, YOU LITTLE-I mean, I mean…I'm ok", Mephiles sighed heavily. "What I meant to say is that I'm looking for a shiny jewel. Can you guess what I'm talking about?"

"YES, YES, I KNOW!" Charmy went off to search again. He noticed a male peacock examining a shiny pearl with a magnifying glass. "Hey, what's that up ahead?" he pointed straight.

"What?" the peacock looked up. With him distracted, his pearl got stolen.

"How about this?" Charmy returned to his boss as he held up the pearl.

"NO, NO, NO, NO!" the hedgehog raised his voice. "I mean, not that kind of jewel. I'll give you a hint, its hand sized."

"Hmm…" Charmy pondered. "I don't get it."

"It holds magnificent powers."

"What kind of powers? Magic powers?"

"Yes…You can…say that."

"But a magician never reveals his secrets."

"Nobody cares about the magician, Charmy."

"Well, I do!"

"Then I don't."

"And a scientist never reveals his experiments."

"Where are you getting all of this stuff from!?" Mephiles threw his hands up in the air.

"I dunno", Charmy shrugged his shoulders.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" the dark hedgehog pulled his quills crazily.

"Stop screaming", the bee criticized.

In order to calm his nerves, Mephiles walked to a tree and took a deep breath. He used his strength to kick it down. As the tree fell, a large bee hive fell on him, with his head trapped inside. He yelled in pain as he was getting severely stung by the bothersome bees. Charmy laughed at him as he held his stomach. By hearing him laugh, the dark hedgehog growled and formed some purple fire in his left hand. He poked the bee hive and everything burnt into dust, including the bees. The little child gulped. Mephiles went to pick up the mirror that he received sometime ago. He looked at his reflection and gasped. He had a lot of red bumps on his face. At that moment, he threw the mirror on the ground, watching it smash into pieces. It was offical. He hates bees.

"Ok. That does it", he turned to the child.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Charmy screamed with intense fear, causing Mephiles to cover his ears.

* * *

Shadow was still looking for the little brat as he checked one amusement stand after another. Suddenly, his ears twitched as he heard a scream. It sounded like Charmy was in trouble! Hopefully, he wasn't doing anything reckless.

"_I should buy a leash for his ass",_ Shadow thought to himself. He went to look for him.

* * *

(Returning with Mephiles…)

"SHUT UP!!!" he hollered with fury.

"Hey, don't tell me to shut up, you jerk!" Charmy pointed at him stingily. "Or should I say you mouth-less jerk."

"How dare you!" Mephiles clenched his fists. "You better watch your mouth."

"You better watch your mouth", the bee repeated.

"Shut it."

"Shut it."

"I mean it!"

"I mean it!"

"GRRRRR!!"

"GRRRRR!!"

"You're dumb!"

"You're dumb!"

"I know what you are, but what am I?" the villain crossed his arms.

"I know what you are, but what am I?" the immature child mimicked his movements.

"I'm warning you…"

"I'm warning you…"

"Knock it off!"

"Knock it off!

"STOP IT!"

"STOP IT!"

"Um…" Mephiles pondered. "Ooh", he snapped his fingers. "Sie sind ein sehr dummes kleines kind (You are a very stupid little child)!"

"I don't speak Spanish", the bumble bee scratched his head.

"It was German, you idiot!"

"What does it matter anyway? Just speak English for peace sakes."

"RAAAAGGGGHHHH!! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER!" Mephiles pulled his hair as his eyes were bloodshot red. To make matters worse, his rival appeared by Chaos Control.

"You again!?" Shadow got in his fighting position.

"Oh, hey, Shadow, how's it going?" Charmy waved. "I was just talking to your mouth-less twin brother!"

"He is NOT my twin", the black and red hedgehog seethed through his teeth. "It's a really long story."

"IS THIS YOURS!?" Mephiles grabbed the bee and held him up to Shadow.

"Um…yeah?" his rival sweatdropped.

"HERE!" the enraged hedgehog shoved the child to him. "TAKE HIM! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! AND TO THINK THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE MY REVENGE ON YOU!"

"Ohhh…Now I get it! Hey, Shadow! This guy wants to kill you!" the bee smiled as if he was the smartest thing ever.

"NO DUH!" the hedgehogs said meanly.

"Whoa, that was weird", Charmy sweatdropped. "Hey, gimme my Skittles!" he pointed at Mephiles. "Besides, what are you gonna do? Eat 'em? Oh, that's right! You can't! Ohh, snap!" he teased and stuck out his tongue.

"HERE!" the evil hedgehog threw the candy at him. "TAKE YOUR DAMN SKITTLES! YOU WEREN'T WORTHY TO ME ANYWAY! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE OR HEAR YOUR VOICE EVER AGAIN!"

"Dude, you need to chillax", the bee sweatdropped. "Have you ever thought of contacting Dr. Phil?"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! THAT'S IT! I QUIT! I'M LEAVING!" Mephiles pulled his hair again, this time pulling it right off of him. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" he ran off like a maniac.

"…Oh, wow", Shadow raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, do you have any idea how much damage you have done?" he snatched the candy away.

"Hey, I was gonna eat those!" Charmy whined. "Oh, wait", he sweatdropped. "I'm in trouble again, am I?"

"Yes, you are", Shadow nodded.

"Well, you can't hit me, because you could go to jail. Even if you could try, you would get stung by my stinger. And you can't starve me, because you could get in trouble. And you can't even punish me in public. So ha!"

"Oh really now?"

* * *

(15 minutes later, in the Chaotix's basement…)

"NOOOO!!" Charmy begged as he was tied up to a chair.

"EAT YOUR DAMN PEAS RIGHT NOW!" the babysitter had a spoon full of green peas in his hand.

"Make me!" the bee said and stuck out his tongue. As a result, the peas got shoved in his mouth and he forcefully swallowed them. "Oh, God, I can't do this anymore", he panted weakly.

"Oh, but there's more", Shadow picked up a bowl from a table.

"What's in that bowl?"

"Spinach."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" the poor kid shouted to the ceiling, feeling doomed.

* * *

LOLOLOLOL! OMG, this was hilarious! And yes, Charmy is getting some more punishment. And I feel bad for Mephiles. And before you ask, I don't speak German. I was able to translate it on some website. So um, to all those who know German, was it right? I'm only asking because sometimes those websites can mess me up. At any rate, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. See you next time! =)


	16. Lights out!

WEEEEEEE!!! Another chapter it is! Now, um, I don't think I'll be able to update again until the first week of Winter break. Let's just say that I have another anatomy test this Wednesday, and then, I have to study real hard for the final exams. YUCK! But if I return before then, then hooray! Still, I gotta study so I won't get in trouble. With further ado, enjoy the chapter! Remember, I don't own the characters.

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Chapter 16

The time was 10:30 PM when a thunderstorm hit Station Square and the Mystic Ruins. Inside the Chaotix Crib, Shadow was sleeping on the couch after he watched some television. Of course, nothing interests him except some action shows like CSI and 24. Now the TV was broadcasting the news. Charmy was in his room, lying on his bed dramatized. After receiving lots of vegetables, he couldn't have room for more food. Not only that, he didn't want to deal with his babysitter again.

"Jerk", he said to himself. His stomach growled for food. "Ah, man", he sat up. He flew out of his room and went to the kitchen. "I wonder what's in the fridge", he opened the refrigerator. All he could see in there were eggs, over due milk, orange juice, three bottles of water, butter, apples, and cheese. "Crap", he took an apple and closed the fridge. All of the sudden, everything went dark. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" he panicked.

"SHUT UP CHARMY!!" Shadow hollered as he sat up. "What the?" he looked around.

"I can't see! Where am I going?!" the terrified insect flew around the room. Accidentally, he hit the wall, the table, and the stove. "Ow", he said over and over again. "Hey, whose got a flashlight?" he went into the living room. All of the sudden, he bumped into someone. "AAAAAAAHHHH!! STRANGER DANGER!" he freaked out.

"Stop screaming", Shadow said with aggravation.

"Oh, it's you", the child spoke. "What's going on?"

"Duh, the electricity went out."

"Can you fix it?"

"I'll see what I can do-"

"Because if you can't, then Bob the Builder can!"

"Who?"

"Nevermind."

'Sigh'. "Anyway, where do you keep the flashlights?"

"I think they're in the linen closet upstairs."

"Fine. I'll go and look", the hedgehog searched for the stairs.

"Wait!" Charmy called out. "I don't wanna be left alone", he said with fear.

"I won't be long. Don't tell me you're scared of the dark."

"No, it's not that. It's…It's…The Boogieman", the bee said with pretended evilness.

"You have got to be fu-Nevermind", Shadow sighed and went up the stairs. Carefully, he placed a hand on the wall to his left. He walked for a little bit until he felt a wooden door. He opened it. "JESUS!" he gasped as a bunch of junk fell on him. "Oww."

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! THE BOOGIEMAN'S GOT SHADOW!" Charmy panicked again.

Ignoring him, the black and red hedgehog climbed out of the junk. He moved his hands around until he felt a flashlight. Sighing with relief, he grabbed it and clicked it on. Using the flashlight, he looked at all of the junk that was on top of him. There were bottles of lotion, cologne, body wash, and cough medicine. Not only that, but there were some porno magazines scattered all over the place.

"Oh, wow", Shadow sweatdropped. _"Vector, you're such a crappy virgin",_ he thought as he got up.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Charmy flew up the stairs.

"Don't look!" Shadow held up a hand to stop.

"Don't look at what?"

"Just cover your eyes. There is something that little kids shouldn't see."

"Um…Alright", the bee covered his eyes.

Quickly, Shadow gathered the inappropriate magazines and placed them in the closet. After that, he puts everything else back as well. On the floor, there was a smaller flashlight. The hedgehog picked it up and turned it on. He used one of his feet to close the door.

"Ok, you can open your eyes now", he reassured.

"Okie-dokie", Charmy removed his hands off his face. "Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme!" he snatched the small green flashlight from his babysitter.

"A simple thank you would be nice."

"Oh, my bad."

"Yeah, you're bad. Anyway, do you know where the power supply is?"

"In the basement."

"Thanks", Shadow walked to the stairs.

"Don't go!" Charmy grabbed his arm. "The Boogieman lives in the basement at night. And he'll get you!" he explained frightfully.

"There is no such thing, Charmy", the hedgehog slapped his forehead. "You're just imagining things."

"No I'm not. One time, I heard that it lives under the bed, but that was a mistake. Then I heard that it lives in the bedroom closet, but that wasn't true either. But this time, I know it. I truly know that the Boogieman lives in the basement", Charmy said.

"So why believe it for the 3rd time after the first 2 were a bunch of lies?"

"Um…Erm, um…I dunno."

The black hedgehog rolled his eyes. Of course, he didn't know that when children are young, they'll believe in ridiculous myths and get frightened. Maybe Charmy was afraid of the dark, but he doesn't want to admit it. Still, Shadow wasn't scared of anything, so the whole story didn't seem to affect him. Instead of wasting more time, he walked down the stairs as Charmy followed close behind him. Before they passed the living room, the lightning struck the ground near the house as the thunder roared.

"Whoa", Shadow glanced at the window.

"EEEEK!!" Charmy clutched his arm again. "I'm scared!"

"Charmy, let go."

"But…I feel safe."

"Blah", Shadow let his tongue hang out of his mouth and pulled it back in. "Listen, it's just a thunderstorm", he separated himself from the child. "It's not gonna kill you or anything." Right after he said that, the thunder and lightning scared Charmy and made him clutch his waist. "Good grief…Um, you're in my bubble", he moved away from the bee. "WAY in my bubble."

"Oh, my bad", the kid sweatdropped.

"Hmph. Scaredy cat", the hedgehog smirked.

"I'm not scared!" Charmy pouted.

"You were just now."

"Hey, I was just practicing some of my acting skills, thank you."

"Sure", Shadow said and turned off his flashlight.

"Um…Sh-Sh-Sh-Shadow?" the bee looked around shakily. He moved his flashlight around but he couldn't find his babysitter. "Seriously, this isn't funny", he growled. Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder. "Oh, hi. How may I help…" he looked back and noticed Ghostface (from the movie Scream) standing before him. "…you?" the child gulped. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" he went back until he hit a wall. "Ouch!" he rubbed his head. "You jerk!" he lifts his flashlight. "Hey, where'd he go?"

"Psssst", someone whispered.

"Yes?" Charmy asked politely as he looked to the right. Gulping to himself, he moved his flashlight up to the masked figure.

"Boo."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" the bee screamed. "Oi", he squeaked softly as he clutched his chest. A short second later, he fainted.

"…Wow", Shadow removed the mask and turned on his flashlight. "Hey", he shook Charmy. "Wake up."

"Oh, God, don't take my pickles!" the bee opened his eyes with terror. "I mean…Hi", he waved.

"I knew it."

"YOU JERK! I'm telling Amy on you!"

"Whatever."

As the storm continued to make noises, Shadow walked to the kitchen and looked for a basement door. To his right, the door was slightly opened. That seemed strange. For as long as he could remember, the door was always closed. With ease, he went to the door and opened it widely. Charmy came in with his chattering teeth. Rolling his eyes, Shadow took a step down.

"Wait! Let's say our prayers", the bumble bee suggested.

"Make it quick", the black and red hedgehog sighed.

"Um…Um…This is Sparta! Amen."

"…Right…"

Step after step, Shadow went down into the cold, dark basement. On the other hand, Charmy decided to remain up the stairs. He looked around and hoped that no one was going to get him. A gulp went down his throat. Back with Shadow, he continued to descend to the basement. However, he missed a step and tumbled forward.

"Shit!" he said as he fell down the stairs and crashed on the floor.

"Hey, what's going on down there?" Charmy asked. He heard silence. "Shadow?" No response. "Shadow?" Yet again, he gulped. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" he flew around the house, losing himself. He went outside in the rain and stopped. His ears began to hear some footsteps. Gasping to himself, he looked to his left. Thanks to the lightning flashes, he could see two figures in big dark coats heading his direction. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! MONSTERS!!!" he flew back inside and locked the door. He wheezed fretfully as he returned to where he was before. "Shadow? I'm coming down to save you!" he promised. He flew down the stairs slowly as he whimpered.

"Ughhh…" Shadow opened his eyes and rubbed his head. He sat up and looked around with his flashlight. Luckily, he found the power supply to his far right. "Bingo", he said and ran to the machine. He began to press some buttons and flip a couple switches.

"Oh, God, I hate coming down here at night", the bee thought out loud as he reached to the last step. He looked around and saw Shadow trying to figure how to work on the power supply. "Phew", he sighed in relief.

All of the sudden, the lightning flashed at the windows. The poor bee gulped as his body shook like a leaf. With his flashlight still on, he looked around. Just then, his eyes caught on a mysterious person wearing a Michael Myers mask. The person looked over at Shadow then at Charmy. After that, he tip toed to the kid with his hands in front of him, like a mummy.

"Sh-Sh-Sh-Shad-d-d-d-d-o-o-o-w?" the bee shivered with fright.

"I'm working on it", the hedgehog continued to fiddle with the small machine.

"No, it's not that."

"If it's about the damn Boogieman again-"

"THERE'S A STRANGER IN THE HOUSE!"

"What?" Shadow looked back and saw someone coming toward the bee. Thinking fast, he picked up a chainsaw and pulled the string. He held the flashlight between his teeth.

"YAY SHADOW!" Charmy cheered as the masked being turned over the dark hero.

"Prepare to die, biatch!" Shadow yelled through his teeth.

"Yikes!" the mysterious being ran to the other side of the room. He trembled dreadfully as he watched the dark hedgehog coming towards him. "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" he shook his hands out in front of him. After that, he removed his mask.

"What the…Sonic?" Charmy shun the flashlight at him.

"Faker?" Shadow raised an eyebrow. His chainsaw ran out of power. Then he threw it to the side and took the flashlight out of his mouth. "What the hell are you doing here!?"

"Hey, hey, chillax, already", Sonic replied. "I only came here to scare you guys."

"But it's not Halloween", the bee shrugged his shoulders.

"Is anyone else here?" the black hedgehog asked suspiciously.

"Um…" the blue hedgehog swift his eyes to the side.

There was silence considering that the storm went away. By some sort of miracle, the electricity came back on. Charmy did the honor of flipping a light switch. Then he and Shadow turned off their flashlights. They noticed that Knuckles was hiding behind a pole with a camera in his hands. They also saw Tails crouching down on the side of the couch with a Freddy Krueger mask and a Jason Voorhees mask in his hands. Something told Shadow that Team Sonic snuck in while he was asleep. So Sonic was telling the truth. They were trying to scare him and Charmy!

"Wow!" the bee exclaimed sarcastically. "You guys have no lives!"

"Hey, hey, it was Sonic's idea", Knuckles pointed at his blue friend.

"Believe me; we didn't want to get involved in this", Tails nodded a few times fast.

"Oh really now?" Shadow crackled his fists.

"Wait, there are children here!" the blue hedgehog held out a hand saying halt.

"They can close their eyes."

"Erm…There's not enough room! Yeah."

"You're just coming up with excuses so I wouldn't kick your ass again, are you?"

"Um, uh, no?"

Suddenly, everyone heard the front door shut and footsteps in the living room. Shadow signaled them to be quiet and walked up the stairs cautiously. The others followed him. Soon enough, they peeped around the corner from the kitchen. There were two figures, a big one and small one, squeezing their sleeves to let the water fall on the floor.

"BURGLARS!!" Charmy gasped.

"Huh?" the two men looked over at him.

"Let's get 'em!" Sonic said. He and the others charged at them.

"Wait, it's us!" Vector and Espio took off their hats and removed their coats.

"Oh…" the others stopped in their place and backed away.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" the bee waved.

"What are you doing here?" Tails asked.

"I thought you two were at Casinopolis", Shadow crossed his arms.

"Well we were, until Vector ruined it all", Espio turned to the crocodile furiously. "Let's just say that he didn't pay the taxi driver and he chased us all over the town. Later on, he tried to hook up with a prostitute, but a crazed pimp tried to kill us. Then we had to sneak our way back here with big coats and hats."

"It was a long walk, but oh, well", Vector shrugged his shoulders. "At least they kept us warm out in the rain. Anyway, why are you guys in my house!?" he asked rudely.

"They tried to scare us!" Charmy pointed at Team Sonic. "And what's a prostitute?"

"Well, at least they didn't steal any food or any of my magazines", the lime green creature wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"What kind of magazines do you have?" Sonic asked.

"You don't wanna know", Espio answered. "And Charmy, you're too young to know."

"Ah, man!" the bee crossed his arms.

"So, yeah, we're back!" the crocodile smiled. "And since we came back early, you can go home now, Shadow!" he turned over to the black hedgehog. "Um, Shadow?" he raised an eyebrow.

Everyone else turned over to Shadow, who only stood there with his eyes widened. Slowly, he fell backwards with his eyes in the back of his head. Boy, what a weekend this has been for him.

"Quick! Someone give him CPR!" Charmy panicked. The others looked at him oddly. "Ok, maybe not", he rubbed the back of his head.

* * *

LOLOLOLOLOL! That was so funny! Looks like Shadow was able to go home early. But the only reaction he gave everyone was by fainting. LOL! I guess the reason why he fainted was because he was free and he couldn't believe it. Hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I just really hope I can update before the finals so I won't have to make you wait very long. R&R! Thank you!


	17. Revenge is a Bitch!

WHOOOOOOO!! I'M FINALLY FREE FROM THOSE CURSED FINALS! YES!! OMG, IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE ALIVE! (Pant, pant). Ok, ok, I'm, I'm alright. So for your reading pleasure, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

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Chapter 17

Shadow opened his eyes as a small groan escaped his lips. He looked around and noticed that he was still in the Chaotix's living room. Taking his time, he sat up on the couch. He looked back and noticed the three creatures were looking at him with curiosity.

"Jesus!" he jumped off the couch and backed away from them. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry, but we got bored", Charmy shrugged his shoulders.

"How long have I been unconscious?"

"For about ten minutes", Espio looked at his watch.

"Yeah, we thought you died of a concussion or something", Vector chuckled.

"Hmph", Shadow rolled his eyes.

"But hey, since you're awake, you can leave now."

"I can?"

"Of course. You did your share and we appreciate it."

"Hmm…" The black hedgehog held out a hand.

"Handshake?" the bee scratched his head.

"No. I've done my job, so I should get paid for it."

"P…Paid?" the crocodile swift his eyes to the side.

"You know how to goes", Shadow narrowed his eyebrows. "Since I spent two days with the little brat, I should get paid handsomely."

"Um, about that-" the chameleon spoke.

"Shut up, Espio", Vector snapped at him. "Erm, um…How much do you want?"

"$200", Shadow replied.

"$200!?" the Chaotix exclaimed in shock.

"But we don't have that kind of money", Charmy said. "Who do we look like to you? G-Unit?"

"Um…About that…we'll have to get back to you on that one", the crocodile rubbed the back of his head. "We just don't have any money at the moment."

"Yeah, thanks to you", Espio crossed his arms.

"Whose side are you on anyway!?" the crocodile yelled at his face.

"Very well then", Shadow placed his hand on his hip. "I guess we have to do this the hard way."

"The-The hard way?" the bee gulped.

"You don't mean…?" Vector sweatdropped.

"You can't be serious", the chameleon widened his eyes.

"Run", the dark hedgehog said threateningly. "Run as fast as you can."

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" the three buffoons ran out of the house and reached to the center of the Mystic Ruins.

"Phew", Vector panted. "That was close."

"I don't think so", Espio looked back and gulped. "Look." His two friends looked back and gasped at what they saw.

{Music insert: Benny Hill Theme}

Speedily, Shadow was dashing towards them as he growled with fury. The Chaotix screamed and ran off. Of course, they weren't going fast enough to get away from him. That didn't matter to the Ultimate Life Form, because once he gets his hands on them, they will pay for the suffering that he had gone through. Vector tripped over a rock and fell forward. His so called friends continued to make their way out.

"Hey!" he yelled out helplessly. "Don't leave me!" All of the sudden, he got yanked off the ground by his tail. "Ouch!"

"Let's take a spin!" Shadow lifts him up and swung him around.

"OH GOD, NO!"

**(BGM plays 'You Spin me Right Round (Like a Record)' by Dead or Alive)**

**You spin me right round, baby  
right round like a record, baby  
Right round round round  
You spin me right round, baby  
Right round like a record, baby  
Right round round round**

**(Repeats multiple times)**

Round and round Vector went as he was being swung by the dark hedgehog. He held in his puke as he got dizzy. Soon enough, he was released and flew to the sky.

"One down", Shadow clapped the dust off his hands.

{Benny Hill Theme comes back on}

Espio and Charmy stopped to catch their breath under a large tree. They looked back, just in case the crazed hedgehog was still chasing them. Although, they felt kind of bad for leaving Vector behind. Speaking of which, he was falling from the sky as he screamed with fear. The chameleon and the bee looked up, wondering where the noise was coming from. SPLAT! They ended up getting smashed by the heavy crocodile.

"Oww…" the three moaned in pain. They got up and stretched their bones. Frightfully, they looked back and saw Shadow coming towards them with the same chainsaw. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" they screamed and took off running again. Unfortunately, they got caught by mud and long vines.

"OK, OK!" Vector pleaded. "We'll give you the money! Just please don't kill us!"

"Hmph", Shadow turned off the chainsaw. "You better pray that you have a banking account."

"Y-Y-Yeah, yeah, I do", the leader of the Chaotix gulped. "Now, um, can you help us out please?"

"Hmm…I have a better idea", the hedgehog smirked as he crackled his fists.

'_Gulp',_ the three creatures looked at each other with dread.

* * *

(At the bank…)

"Um…Can I help you?" a female accountant asked the three bandaged creatures.

"Yes, um, I would like to make a withdraw on my account please", Vector said. He had bandages around his head and arms as he used his crutches to stand up straight. Weakly, he gave the accountant his license, bank account number, and other proof of his identification.

"You're a big bully", Charmy said to his babysitter coldly. Yes, he had bandages too, but also had a cast on his left arm.

"Shut it", Shadow hissed at him.

"I hate my life", Espio murmured to himself. Besides having bandages all over his body, he was also in a wheelchair.

"Hmm…" the accountant typed the info on the computer. "Sir, you only have $3 on your account."

"$3!?" the crocodile shouted. "How can that be!?"

"Sir, you barely put money in your account", the accountant said. "Well, you did have a little more than that, but then you decided to take some out so you could go to a stripper's club."

"Uh, heh-heh-heh-heh-heh", Vector rubbed the back of his head. "Gee, um, when did that happen?"

"A month ago, sir."

"Well…Well, um, uh…Shit."

"You are so dead", the black and red hedgehog cracked his fists.

"FLYING MONKEY!" the bee pointed to the side.

"What?" Shadow looked to the exact direction.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" As the Benny Hill Theme came back on, the Chaotix made their way out of the place and went to find a hiding spot.

"GRRRR!!" Shadow ran after them. He was able to catch up to them and they got into a fighting cloud.

"OWW! OOF! OWW, OWW! AAH! OOF! UGH! OWW! OWW!" the three creatures grunted as they were getting their asses kicked.

* * *

(Later that night…)

"Hey, welcome back", Amy smiled. "How was it?"

"Well…They do own me some money", Shadow shrugged his shoulders.

"Just give them some time, Shadow."

"Yeah…About that…"

"What?"

"It's nothing", the male hedgehog shook his head. "Anyway, what's for dinner?"

* * *

(Meanwhile…)

At Emerald Beach, the Chaotix were tied up together and placed on a wooden boat. They were further away from the beach area. On the sides of the boat, there were some firecrackers and explosives tied together. A timer was placed underneath the boat.

"Good job, Vector", Espio narrowed his eyebrows.

"Shut up!" the crocodile spat back.

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Charmy cried.

Too bad for them, the timer went off. At that moment, the firecrackers went off, causing the explosives to go boom. The three creatures screamed as they were blown to the air. Soon enough, they landed in the ocean. To add more bad luck for them, they saw a couple of shark fins circling around them. Of course, the famous Jaws Theme was playing in the background.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" the Chaotix screamed horrendously.

* * *

Lesson learned: If you don't pay Shadow, you will die! LOL sucks to be them! Hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Now, if you would excuse me, I'm gonna celebrate for my winter vacation from prison-I mean, school. See ya later!


	18. Baby Boot Camp?

Heya, folks! Yes, another chappies is here! This could be long, but hey, that's a good thing, right? =)

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Chapter 18

On the next following Monday afternoon, Shadow was sleeping in his office as some drool fell out of his lips. He didn't notice that Rouge came in his room and tip toed to him. She snickered to herself, figuring out how she was going to surprise him.

"BOO!" she yelled.

"What the-?" Shadow sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What do you want?"

"So, how was your weekend?" the bat asked.

"It sucked balls. Big, BIG balls."

"Because…?"

"I hate that little brat and his stupid friends. They didn't even pay me dammit!"

"Hmm…" Rouge rubbed her chin. "Well, I'll have a talk with them later. Anyway, does Amy still have her mood swings?"

"Not a lot, but yeah", the dark hedgehog kicked back. "At least they're not psychotic this time."

"That's good."

"Attention everyone!" the commander's voice shouted over the intercoms. "Get your asses to the backyard area, now!"

"Great", Shadow sighed to himself. "What now?"

* * *

Outside, every single agent had their jaws dropped. The entire area looked like a football field! However, there were traffic cones placed at random places and a couple of small flag poles placed on the opposite sides of the field. One of the poles had a red cloth while the other one had a pink cloth. To their left, the commander was sitting in a 15ft. high chair with a megaphone and had on a pair of shades.

"Sir, what is this?" one of the soldiers asked.

"This is your new obstacle course", the old man replied through his megaphone loudly. "I call it…Baby Boot Camp."

"Baby Boot Camp?" everyone sweatdropped.

"I hate my life", Shadow slapped his forehead.

"Well, at least the commander cares about you", Rouge nudged him on the arm.

"Still, does taking care of babies have to do anything with death traps and whatnot?"

"Erm…"

"Go to your lockers and suit up", the commander spoke again. "After that, get back here immediately."

Doing what they were told, the G.U.N. people rushed to their locker rooms. Each of them opened their locker and sweatdropped. Inside were football gear (the men's were red and the women's were pink), mouth guards, fingerless gloves, and huge running sneakers. With no time to spare, everyone began to prepare themselves for the challenge.

"You have got to be kidding me", the black and red hedgehog examined his red football helmet.

* * *

(In the ladies locker room…)

"Hmm…" Rouge lifts up her jersey. "Ok?"

"At least we're on the same team", Topaz said and puts her mouth guard in.

"This won't get me killed, right?" a brunette fiddled with her fingers.

"Relax, Veronica", Topaz reassured her. "We have shoulder pads and other crap to protect us."

"Easy for you to say", a blonde scoffed as she tied her hair up to a ponytail.

* * *

Once everyone got their gear on, they went back outside to the…football-no, obstacle field. The commander was looking at his watch at the time. He looked down at his colleagues as he lifts up his shades.

"You're late", he said rudely. "20 push-ups, now!"

"Ugh…" The G.U.N. members complained and then did 20 fast push-ups.

"Good! Now, I am about to explain to you what this is", the gray-haired man spoke again. "This game is called 'Catch a Baby, Football Rumble'. Basically, it's mixed with 'Catch the Flag' and 'Football', but there's a baby involved. In order to win, one team must bring the baby back to their goal with no injuries. Got it?"

"…?" There was silence.

"Oh, but there's more to it." Out of nowhere, the commander pulled out a sniper. "I will have my sniper/be-be gun out, so you better not get hit! If you get hit, well, you might not be able to move whatever limb I hit you at. And you'll be forced to be out. Also, if the baby gets hit, attach the body parts together and clean it. There is also a time limit to this game. One of the teams must win by 7 o'clock. The first team to get 10 points within the time wins! As for the losing team, you will have to do janitor work."

"HOORAY!" the janitors cheered from the stands.

"But what's with the men vs. women thing?" Rouge dared to ask.

"Simple: IT'S THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES!" the G.U.N. commander hollered through the megaphone, causing everyone to cover their ears. "Not only this is the test of strength, but also strategy, cautiousness, and parenting love. Ooh! I almost forgot to say this: If the baby starts crying, you have to make it stop crying before you reach the goal. But I would suggest you have some back up, just in case", he petted his sniper. "Is everyone clear?"

"Um…" the two teams said uncertainly.

"RULES!" yelled the commander. "1: You can't use super powers to win. Yes, I'm talking to you, Shadow and Rouge."

"Dammit!" the dark hedgehog slammed his helmet to the ground.

"Rule #2: Do not grab each other's private parts. This is a game, not a porno movie." A few people snickered. "QUIET! And rule #3: Do not use the baby as a shield. Now, I shall flip the coin", the commander pulled out a penny. "Fellas, heads or tails?"

"Heads!" the male team shouted.

"Ha-ha, we said heads", an idiotic soldier chuckled.

"Tails, you fail!" the commander showed them the coin. "Ladies first! Now get your asses to your safe zones!" He watched the two teams get together at their separate goals. "The baby is sitting in a stroller in the middle of the field! Remember the rules wisely. Now strategize dammit!"

And so, the two teams formed together in order to come up with a battle plan. First, they picked their captains. Of course, Shadow was the captain for the males and Rouge was the captain for the females. Both of them drew out their ideas on the ground using a stick. A referee came out of the building and stood in front of the stands. One of the janitors volunteered to keep score. The commander had his binoculars on his lap as he was loading his sniper. A few minutes later, everyone was ready. The crowd began to cheer as the teams got in their positions.

**(BGM plays 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor)**

"On your mark…" the commander shouted through his megaphone. "Get set…Go!"

Both teams let out their war cries as they rushed to the doll baby. Not a moment to soon, the commander began to aim at some of the athletes. He shot at a male player in the leg, causing him to fall forward. He then shot a female in the knee, causing her to fall down as well. Meanwhile, some of the male and female players began to tackle each other aggressively.

**Risin' up, back on the street  
Did my time, took my chances  
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet  
Just a man and his will to survive**

Luckily, Rouge was able to grab the fake infant and started running to the safe zone. The commander locked on to her and shot her in the back. She hollered in pain as she fell forward and dropped the baby. At that moment, the doll began to wail. Topaz picked it up, rocked it to sleep, and reached to the goal.

"Touchdown for the ladies!" the commander shouted.

"YEAH!" the female team cheered.

"Aw, man", the male team complained.

**So many times, it happens too fast  
You change your passion for glory  
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past  
You must fight just to keep them alive**

During the second round, Shadow ran as fast as he could to the baby, despite that he was wearing big shoes. The commander fired at him, but a different player blocked to bullet, saving Shadow's life. Before the hedgehog could've reached to the toy, a pack of females were charging at him wrathfully.

"Oh, shit", he stopped and sweatdropped.

"Time for Plan B!" one of the male players ran ahead. He stopped in his place, turned around, and 'mooned' the girls.

"EWW!!" the women backed away.

"I got it!" another male grabbed the baby and reached to the goal. Unfortunately, he got hit in the crotch by the commander's sniper. "Oof!" he squealed in pain and fell to the side.

"I got it, I got it!" Shadow grabbed the baby and rushed to the goal. He threw it to another player as he continued to run. With good senses, he dodged a couple sniper shots. In the end, he and his teammates reached to the goal.

"BOOYEAH!" the males showed the female team the 'L for Loser' sign.

"GRR!!" all of the girls clenched their fists.

**Chorus:  
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger**

After a quick bathroom break, the game continued. And boy it was more aggressive than ever. The girls were showing no mercy as they jumped onto the guys and started clawing them with their nails. A few others sprayed perfume, causing the dudes to collapse to the ground as they clutched their throats. To get their revenge, the men sprayed extra strong cologne, causing the girls to cough hardly.

**Face to face, out in the heat  
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry  
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street  
For we kill with the skill to survive**

Soon enough, a muscular player grabbed the baby and threw it to Shadow. He caught it and began to run. While he was reaching for the goal, the commander aimed at him. The Ultimate Life Form did jump back, but the commander shot the baby's head off. He gasped at the sight of the headless toy. Because he was distracted, he got shot in his…private area. As he clutched his family jewels and fell to his knees, he got tackled down by 20 girls painfully.

**Chorus:  
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger**

With the score 5-7 (the girls were winning somehow), both teams changed costumes. The males were the Spartans while the females were the Persians.

"THIS…IS…SPARTA!" Shadow shouted as his crewmates charged at the other team.

"THIS…IS…PERSIA!" Rouge hollered as her team went to get the baby.

The two teams ended up battling each other, '300' style. Although, the commander still had his sniper. He shot a red haired woman in the stomach, making her fall down. Next, he hit a blonde male in the butt, causing him to howl in pain. Third, he shot Topaz at her…chest.

"Ouch!" she yelled in pain as she held her chest in pain.

**Risin' up, straight to the top  
Have the guts, got the glory  
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop  
Just a man and his will to survive**

Near sunset, the score was 9-9. Sure everyone was hungry and wanted to go home, but they had to make it to the end of the game first. After coming up with a plan, the two teams nodded and got in position. The referee blew his whistle. Letting out some more war cries, the two teams rushed to the severely damaged doll baby. More tackles were made, some of the guys farted at the girls, and the two captains were rushing to the important item. They grabbed it at the same time and started doing their tug-a-war for it. Shortly after that, their team members helped them in the tug-a-war action.

**Chorus:  
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger**

Things began to get out of control as the teams continued to fight over the toy baby. Because they weren't paying attention to their actions, they ended up pulling every body part that belonged to the baby! After that, many cloud fights were made. Back at the stands, the janitors yawned as they looked at their watches.

**The eye of the tiger (repeats and fades out)...**

"Good grief", the commander looked at his watch. It read 7 o'clock. He signaled the referee and he blew the whistle. "TIME'S UP, YOU MORONS!" the elder man yelled through his megaphone. "YOU ALL SUCK!"

The two teams stopped fighting and looked around. Some of their comrades were on the ground in pain along with the doll baby's body parts. They all looked at the commander, wondering what was next.

"YOU'RE ALL ON CLEANING DUTY!"

"Dammit", the teams whined and collapsed to the ground.

"GET YOUR ASSES UP!" the commander ordered them.

* * *

(Later that night…)

"Wow", Amy commented.

"The pain…The teams…The sniper…Oh, God, the doll baby…Everything", Shadow panted as he was on the bed, looking up with bloodshot eyes. "No more…No more…The cleaning…Smelly restrooms…So hungry…So tired…Need vacation…"

"Aw, you poor thing", the pink hedgehog pulled him close and nuzzled against his head tenderly. "Are you gonna be ok?"

"I'm gonna have nightmares", the other hedgehog replied.

* * *

LOLOLOLOL! Wow, what a game! Good lord, that was crazy! I don't remember playing a game like that in gym class back in the day, lol. So what is next for Shadow? Tune in next time!


	19. The Commander's Background Story

Hey, guys, I'm back. Yeah, I haven't updated in a little bit because…First of all, due to the blizzard, I was stuck at my aunt's house for 2 days with no internet! But once I got home, I finally got a PS3 for Christmas! Plus, I got Resident Evil: Darkside Chronicles for my Nintendo Wii. Ooh, and guess what I saw today. 'The Princess and the Frog' movie! It was awesome! I recommend you to go see it, or if you want to take your younger siblings to go see it so they can leave you alone XD. Anyway, enjoy this chappie. Remember, I don't own the characters, just the stupidity and plot of this story.

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Chapter 19

(The next dreadful day at G.U.N. HQ…)

"SHADOW! GET YOUR ASS TO MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW!" a familiar angry voice yelled over the intercom.

"GRRRRRRRR!!!!" the dark hedgehog clenched his fists as his face turned red and steam was coming out of his ears. "NOW WHAT!?" he slammed his fists on his desk, breaking it in half. He looked down at what he just did. "Dammit…"

* * *

Inside an elegant office, the commander sat in his lounge chair and had his feet on his clean desk. On his desk was his microphone connected to all intercoms, and an expensive looking teapot with a couple of cups right next to it. There were a few shelves with history, scientific, and army books in place. On a wall right next to the commander, many army ribbons were safely inside a case. His classic phonograph was playing 'Piano Sonata No. 11 (Turkish March)' by Mozart. He looked at his pocket watch, wondering what was taking the hedgehog so long. Finally, Shadow appeared by Chaos Control.

"Ah…you took your time", the elder commander puts his watch away.

"Ok", Shadow sighed, trying to stay cool. "Seriously. You've put me through that ridiculous game yesterday; you've put me on cleaning duty-"

"Heh-heh, you said duty."

"QUIET! And now you called me up here. So tell me…" Shadow walked up to the desk. "WHAT THE F*%K DO YOU WANT WITH ME!?" he shouted as he slammed his fists on the desk, somehow not able to break it in two.

"…Patience, young soldier", the commander lit up his cigar. "Have a seat."

"Hmph", Shadow pulled a wooden chair next to him and sat down with his arms crossed.

"Tea?" the old man held up a cup.

"You didn't put poison in it, did you?" the black hedgehog asked with suspicions.

"Poison? Of course not. After all, we always get our pockets checked for poison, illegal drugs, weapons, and other things that are unnecessary to this building."

"…I'll pass."

"Fine, suit yourself", the commander sat down. "Ahh…" he sighed peacefully.

"Um…Why am I here again?"

"Well…As I shall explain everything, how about I tell you my background story?"

"…Oh, look at the time, I gotta-" Shadow was about to get up but his arms got caught by metal straps in his seat. "Crap."

"Now then", the commander stood up and blew some smoke out of his mouth. "Let's have some story time, shall we?"

"Great", the hedgehog rolled his eyes.

"Now, I have already told you about my life on ARK as a child, correct?" The hedgehog nodded. "Well, once I reached to this planet, I was adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Whiteseed."

Shadow snickered a little.

"It's not funny!" the commander hollered.

"It is to me. So um…What is your first name?"

"It's-"

The commander got caught off when a line of jeeps drove by with the stereos up so loud. Behind them, a few police cars followed. After that, there was a car crash. Seconds later, the ambulance drove by. Back inside, Shadow blinked twice at his boss's answer.

"So anyway, I lived with them through my entire life in Idaho," the commander spoke again.

"Idaho? What the hell's there?"

"Mountains, nature, and hippies. Don't ever move there. Anyway, during my high school years, I met this attractive female named Jessica Rabbit.

"Wait, time out", Shadow shook his head. "The Jessica Rabbit? The sexy red haired Jessica Rabbit? In Idaho? You dated her?"

"I was one of the luckiest, you see", the commander continued. "After all, all of the guys at school wanted to score her. Wouldn't you if you saw her in person?"

"Yeah, I would, but bestiality's a crime. Plus, it's too late for me to be single now."

"And I'll admit that I was one of those guys that were smart, dressed kind of goofy, and wore glasses."

"So you were a nerd?"

"Sadly, yes."

"Did you score?"

"Sadly no."

"Why not?"

Before the commander could've answered Shadow's question, he turned off the phonograph and pulled the record off of it. He pulled out another one from his drawer and puts it in the old fashioned musical machine. It began to play some sad violins. At that moment, the gray haired man smoked the last of his cigar and sat in his chair.

"Well…I COULDN'T GET THE CHANCE TO DO SO!" he sobbed and placed his forehead on his desk. "She moved away before prom, so I didn't score…ever! But then, I saw her on TV with Roger Rabbit. And I think to myself 'Why? And how?' The only answer she gave to the entire world…was that he made her laugh. So my heart's been broken for many years and-"

"Hate to interrupt, but what does all of this have to do with me?" Shadow bothered to ask.

"All I'm saying to you is that…that…I envy you", the commander wiped his tears. "Not only you have someone to go home to, but you also get to produce as many as you want."

"Right…" the hedgehog swift his eyes to the side uneasily. _"One's good enough for me."_

"Aside from that, I wish you the best of luck. As for the challenge yesterday, I was just testing you out, even though you failed miserably."

"But what does a baby have to do with football, snipers, and some other crap that you laid out yesterday?"

"You may never know. One day, a fearsome enemy might appear on Earth, and you would have to put those skills to work in order to look after your child."

"…" the hedgehog rolled his eyes. "Can I go now?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever", the commander pressed a button and released Shadow. "You know, we should do something like this some other time."

"I'll pass", Shadow replied and used to Chaos Control to leave the room.

"…" The commander turned off his phonograph. "Gosh, how did he know that I've put poison in my tea?" he looked in his other drawer and saw a box of rat poisoning in it. "I mean, seriously, is he physic or something?"

* * *

(Back with Shadow…)

"So what happened?" Rouge asked as she looked at the destroyed desk.

"The commander told me his background story", her comrade replied as he grabbed some things from his toolbox.

"Really? That's strange."

"Yeah. I swear, that whole story was stranger than the time I got stalked by an annoying bug."

* * *

(FLASHBACK!)

"Hello? Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey! Listen! Look! Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey! Listen! Hello! Hey! Listen!" Navi (yes, from The Legend of Zelda) zoomed around the black hedgehog, annoying him at the same time.

'_Sigh'._

"Listen-!"

Using his left hand, Shadow grabbed the fairy and squeezed it to death as itcoughed for some air. He soon opened his hand and watched the fairy dust fall to the ground.

* * *

(END OF FLASHBACK!)

"Thanks for the info", the white bat sweatdropped.

"De nada", Shadow replied.

* * *

LOL! Shadow killed Navi! And wow, the commander sure is a nut cake, isn't he? And good grief, what is his real name!? Ah, who cares? Welp, thanks for reading this chappie. See you next time! P.S, how's the weather in your hometown? Another P.S., please do not be offended about the Idaho jokes in this chapter if you actually live there...


	20. Moving Out

And now, another awesome chapter! Happy New Year! Holy crap, we're at chapter 20! Hell yeah! And I'll say it again: I don't own anything but the plot and the randomness in this fic!

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Chapter 20

Everyone has neighbors. There are those who would help you out, and there are those who would drive you crazy with ridiculous shenanigans. And what kind of neighborhood our favorite couple lives in? Well, it's mediocre let's just say. Sometimes their neighbors are nice, other times they're not very friendly. Some days they only say hi to them, and some other days, they won't leave them alone. Let's see more about this neighborhood on this fabulous Wednesday…

Our favorite dark hero was checking the mailbox while he was chewing on some bubble gum. He blew a small bubble as he pulled out a few envelopes. All of them were bills. That wasn't unusual. But then, the last one caught his attention. Carefully, he ripped it open and pulled out the note. He read it to himself.

_**Hello! Are you tired of living in the same place? Do you need a new home? Want a house and yet save some money? Are your neighbors annoying? Well, sign up today at GetHouse (dot) com in order to be one of the luckiest winners in the city! Good luck!**_

Come to think of it, Shadow and Amy have been living in this neighborhood for a long time. The small apartment they live in was all they could afford when they first moved in. Now that Shadow works for G.U.N. and thank God they cover insurance and whatnot, he can move into a house and be away from his crazy neighbors. How crazy were they? Erm…

"Hey, hey! Great news!" a brown fox ran up to him with test tubes in his hands. "I've just came up with a newly developed steroid! It makes you strong, a bit nicer to people, and it won't give you a disease!" he said with LOTS of energy.

"Go away, Dexter, I'm not in the mood", Shadow sighed and blew another bubble.

"I'm not Dexter! My name's Kyle!" the fox said furiously.

"Whatever, nerd. Go get a girlfriend."

"I don't have time for girlfriends, you ass."

"Right, cause you're coming out of the closet."

"GRRRR!! Just wait until I bust your bubble gum…bubble, you jerk!"

"Bust my bubble, and I'll bust your face", Shadow gave him a death glare. He blew a bigger bubble and let it pop.

"Um, uh, ok", Kyle backed away frightfully.

"Hey, um, um, uh…neighbor", an iguana came up to the dark hedgehog as he repeatedly scratched his neck. "Do um…Do you guys…have some spare change? You know, to give to the poor", he twitched a little.

"Ned, are you having a crack seizure again?" Shadow said whilst chewing his gum still.

"Erm…No", the iguana lied. "Why would you say that?"

"You're dressed up in rags, I see white stuff on your nose, you won't stop twitching, and you keep scratching yourself. All signs of a crackhead having a crack seizure."

"Come on, man, we're neighbors."

"I barely know who you are. You go to crackhouses a lot."

"Well, um…I'll go ask someone else", Ned walked away.

"Yep, it's time to move away", Shadow said to himself. He pulled out his Emerald and vanished.

* * *

(Meanwhile…)

"Hey, guys! We've found the computer room!" Vector said joyfully.

"Yes, we've found the computer room, in our own basement", Espio sighed. "Now will you PLEASE stop saying that line!?"

"I'm hungry", Charmy rubbed his tummy.

Suddenly, a flash of light appeared behind them. The three looked back and saw Shadow. They gasped with fear and cowered to the wall. Yes, they still didn't have the money yet. But that wasn't on Shadow's mind today. He walked to the computer, sat in the chair and went on the website.

"Um…What are you doing-?" the bee asked.

"Shut it", the black hedgehog spoke rudely. Once he got his business done, he got up. "Oh, by the way, Vector, you got mail."

"Really?" the crocodile ran to the computer. "What does it say?" He received a punch in the gut. "Oof!" he collapsed to the ground.

"It says you better have my money the next time I see your face", Shadow warned him and then left.

"…_I need new friends",_ Espio rolled his eyes.

* * *

On the next Wednesday, Shadow checked the mail again. More bills, catalogs, and whatnot. But then, a green envelope made him blink twice. He ripped it open and pulled out a note.

_**Congratulations! You've won a new house! It is located on 57**__**th**__** and Cherry Street. Hope you like it! And yes, it's all clean.**_

With a small smile on the hedgehog's face, he went inside the apartment.

"Ames. Happy birthday", he opened his arms for a hug.

"Um…It's not my birthday, but thanks", Amy gave him a hug. "What's up?" To answer her question, her lover held out the note for her to read it. "You got us a house?"

"Of course. After all, I'm sick of this place."

"It's not that bad."

"It's too small. Plus the neighbors are weird."

"WEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Ned ran by the house with a crackpipe in his hand.

"Uh…So is the house ready?" Amy asked.

"Yep", Shadow wrapped an arm around her waist and performed Chaos Control. The two reappeared at the right address.

"Wow…" Amy said in shock.

In front of them was a tall single-family detached home made out of bricks. The front lawn had an apple tree, a small garden, and an elegant fountain. Squealing with happiness, Amy grabbed her man and ran inside the house. To the right, the living room had clean badge carpet. On the left side was a designed Arts & Crafts kitchen. After taking a look at that, Amy dragged Shadow up the stairs. They looked into the first room on the right.

"Aww, this could be the baby's room", the pink hedgehog said with delight.

"We don't even have a crib yet", Shadow rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, we'll get it soon. Along with some diapers, clothes, toys, bottles, and a dresser-" Amy listed excitedly.

"Um, let's move on", the male walked on down the hallway.

Right next to the future child's room was the bathroom. A few feet down was the linen closet. On the left side of the hallway were two large empty rooms. The one on the end was declared the bedroom. Or the 'sex room' in Shadow's words. The other room was going to be the guest room. Out in the backyard was a wooden deck, a few more trees and a small swimming pool.

"Wow…This is great!" Amy hopped a few times. "But…What about the money?" she turned to her beloved.

"No worries", Shadow rolled his shoulders. "I'll take care of it. So, ready to move in?"

"Well…We haven't packed our things yet. Plus, we didn't even tell the landlord that we're moving."

"No prob. Just sit back and relax."

* * *

By using Chaos Control again, Shadow returned to the old apartment. As fast as he could, he brought everything together, furniture and all. After that, he went to a small house two blocks away. He knocked on the door. A skunk opened the door.

"Eh, what do you want?" he said rudely and smoked his cigarette.

"We're moving out, Ed", Shadow crossed his arms. "So you might as well put our room on sale."

"Fine, fine", Ed pulled out a pen and paper. "Here, sign your name. My favorite show is on."

"Pushy aren't cha?" Shadow took the pen and signed the paper.

"I heard that."

"Good. Because I got something to say." The black and red hedgehog inhaled some air. "WE DON'T OWN ANYMORE MONEY TO YA NOW, BIATCH! HAVE FUN WITH LUNG CANCER!" he showed his two middle fingers. With that said, he walked off.

"Jerk", the landlord slammed the door.

* * *

Through the rest of the day, Shadow went back and forth to his old home to his new one. Thankful of his incredible powers, he was able to lift all of his and Amy's owned furniture to every room. Once he got done, he collapsed on the living room floor.

"You ok?" Amy came by and sat on her knees.

"Oy", Shadow rolled over on his back. "That was a lot of work."

"You know, we didn't even tell our neighbors that we were moving here."

"It doesn't matter. They got on my nerves anyway."

"Hm. Well, since you got us this wonderful house and put up the furniture, I'll make your favorite steak dinner", the pink hedgehog rubbed his fury chest.

"Before we do that…" Shadow took her hand and looked at her seductively. "Let's have sex."

"…?" Amy sweatdropped. "Right now?"

"I'm in a good mood today. So let's do it."

'_Sigh'._

* * *

A couple hours later, the two hedgehogs lied in their bedroom panting hardly after their little entertainment. Shadow did the honor by pulling his lady close to him. She twirled a piece of his chest fur as she looked into his eyes.

"That was soooo much fun", she purred.

"Indeed", the dark hedgehog rubbed her back. "Ready for round 2?"

".....................................What?!"

* * *

LOLOLOL! Shadow, you little pervert! I guess that's what he does when he is in a good mood. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Well, I finished this today and its New Year's Eve! What's your New Year Revolution? Hmm…One of mine is to keep up the good work with my fanfics and hopefully make more. Hope you've enjoyed the chapter! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And quote from Mr. Mackey from South Park: **Drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs, mm'kay?**


	21. Next there's Cream and Cheese

I have returned! Yeah, I know I've been gone for a while. But that's because I had to do so much chores and my mom had a birthday party last night. Although her birthday was the 30th of December. Still, I was stuck in my room all night. Unfortunately my computer's in the basement. But hey, I can update again! Enjoy the chapter! Oh, and Happy New Year!

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Chapter 21

"Babysitting again?" Shadow complained as Rouge was leading him to a different section of the Mystic Ruins.

"Ah, quit being a baby", the bat shrugged. "Besides, you're only going to do it for one night."

"It better not be another sugar-hyperactive, annoying little brat."

'_Sigh'._

Before long, they've reached to a small cream colored house. There was a small flower garden in the front yard. For some reason, Shadow felt like he's been here before. Though, he wasn't able to figure out why. Rouge knocked on the door.

"Hello there!" Vanilla opened the door.

"_Oh, dear God, don't tell me",_ Shadow sweatdropped.

"Welp, here's the babysitter", Rouge presented the black hedgehog. He took a step back. "Don't be rude, Shadow", she pulled him forward. "Anyway, ready to go gambling?"

"Of course!" Vanilla pulled out her purse full of cash.

"…What?" Shadow raised an eyebrow

"Yeah, we're going gambling for tonight", his close friend replied. "But rest assured, it's only for tonight. And Cream shouldn't be a problem. She has manners."

"Still…"

"To Casinopolis and away!" the adult rabbit grabbed Rouge and took off speedily.

The dark hedgehog watched the two disappear within the trees. He has never thought that Cream's mom liked to gamble. Of course, he knows Rouge likes to gamble at times. Netherless, he went inside and closed the door behind him. The place was too darn colorful for him! He gulped, wishing for a miracle right now. He went to the living room and saw Cream and Cheese watching TV.

"Yo."

"Oh, hi-Shadow?" Cream looked back.

"Grrrrrrr!!" Cheese growled like a lion once he saw the hedgehog.

"Yeah, nice to see you too", Shadow said sarcastically.

"Are you going to be our babysitter for tonight?" the child asked.

"Just this once and never again."

"Oh…You're just in time for Barney!" Cream turned the channel.

**"I love you, you love me",** the purple dinosaur sang to the children around him.

"Walking away", Shadow left the living room.

* * *

After the show was over, Cream and Cheese went outside in the backyard. Their babysitter was sitting in a chair asleep. The rabbit did the honor by shaking him softly. Shadow opened his eyes and looked at them.

"What?"

"We're bored."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Let's play frisbee!" Cream pulled out a red frisbee toy.

"…Fine", the hedgehog stood up.

To start the game, the three spread out in order to make some room. Cream threw the frisbee to Shadow and he then threw it to Cheese. The chao threw it back to Cream and she threw it again to Shadow. They repeated this for five minutes. As soon as Cheese caught the frisbee again, he came up with an evil idea. He flew up a little higher and threw the frisbee to Shadow strongly. The Ultimate Life Form tried to catch it, but he got hit in the right eye.

"Gah! Why is it always my goddamn eye!?" he yelled angrily as he rubbed his eye.

"Chao", Cheese crossed his arms with a smirk.

"Bad, Cheese, bad", Cream pointed at him. "Tell him you're sorry."

At that moment, Cheese slapped his forehead. He didn't want to apologize to the dark hedgehog. In fact, he could careless about his eye injury. Although, he came up with another idea. With a fake sad face, he flew to Shadow, who had his arms crossed. He held out a hand to shake. The black and red hedgehog didn't want to shake it at first, but he had to so that way Cream wouldn't school him. Therefore, he shook the chao's hand. Right on time, Cheese bit his hand aggressively.

"Why you little…!" Shadow growled as he tried to get the chao off of him. He wiggled his hand around, but received no luck.

"Cheese, stop it", the rabbit commanded her pet.

"I swear, if I get rabies, I'm gonna sue you all", Shadow said warningly.

Soon enough, Cheese stopped biting him and Shadow got a bandage for his hand. This was his second time getting bit by a chao. Seriously, what was up with that? Heck, he didn't even do anything to Cheese yet. Putting that aside, the three continued to game. Cheese caught the frisbee and looked over at Shadow. The hedgehog was standing in front of the cactus garden. With another evil smirk, Cheese looked up and pointed to the sky with fright. Falling for it, the two other creatures looked up. After that, Cheese charged at Shadow. Before he could've reacted, he got pushed back and fell in a lot of cactus plants.

"OWW!!" the hedgehog yelled in pain. "WHY THE HELL DO YOU GUYS HAVE A CACTUS GARDEN!?"

"Ask my mother", Cream shrugged her shoulders.

"GRRR!!" Shadow looked at Cheese.

"Chao", the light blue creature said and stuck his tongue out. After that he went inside the house.

"I swear…One day", Shadow clenched his needle filled fists. "Ouch!" he flinched.

* * *

An hour later, he was in the living room with bandages all over his body. Cream and Cheese were playing a card game. Once they got done, they got bored and looked back at the hedgehog.

"What?" he narrowed his eyebrows.

"We're bored again", the rabbit responded.

"Look. I'm in pain, I can barely move, and I don't feel like playing another game. And another thing, your chao is a little monster", Shadow pointed at Cheese.

"Chao!" the light blue troublemaker bit his finger.

"Oww! Stop biting me, you asshole!" Shadow tried to get the chao off of him.

"Mr. Shadow!" Cream gasped.

"What?!"

"You said a bad word!"

"Well, I'm sorry you had to hear that. But right now, your chao is pissing me off."

"Let him go, Cheese."

"Grr", the chao released the hedgehog's finger and flew to his owner.

"Well, Mr. Shadow. We're gonna have some rules around here", the rabbit placed her hands on her hips.

"Hold on, I'M the one who should make the rules here!" Shadow yelled back.

"Rule #1: No cussing. Rule #2: Clean up after yourself. Rule #3: Do not be mean to Cheese. Rule #4: Do not clog up the toilet. Rule #5: No parties allowed. And rule #6: No music, movies, or anything else that is above PG rated."

"…" Shadow blinked twice. _"This…freaking…sucks",_ he thinks to himself.

* * *

LOL, poor Shadow! Wow, Cheese is really mean to him! And LOL, Cream has her rules for him XD. And Cream's mom likes to gamble? How odd! And ouch, cactus plants hurt badly! What will happen next? Find out next time!


	22. Tea Party and Something Else

I just found out that we don't have school tomorrow. Ha! Snow day! So now, I'm going to update on this awesome story. Enjoy! And I don't own the characters! I swear it!

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Chapter 22

It didn't take long for Shadow to fall asleep for another nap. After the brats ate a snack, he told them to go up to their room and never return. Once that was done, he decided to watch some television. As usual, nothing was on. Therefore, he decided to go to sleep. He didn't have on his bandages because his injuries were able to heal effectively.

Because he was in a deep sleep, he didn't know that he was going to wake up in a living nightmare. Cream and Cheese snuck in quietly with some materials. One was carrying some make-up while the other was holding a digital camera. Since Cheese got the camera ready, his owner decided to give her babysitter a makeover. Carefully, she took the cosmetic powder puff with pink glitter and tapped it on Shadow's cheeks. Next, she placed some purple eye shadow on him. After that, she shook some glitter on his face, chest, and arms. She and Cheese plugged up their noses so they wouldn't sneeze. With that out of the way, the rabbit tied a few pink ribbons onto Shadow's quills lightly yet made sure that they would stay on. Then she painted some orange nail polish on his gloves and shoes. Last, she put some red lipstick on his drooling lips gently.

Cheese got the camera ready once Cream was done with the hedgehog. Holding in his laughter, he flew up, zoomed in on the babysitter and took a picture. Once that was done, he and Cream went back to their bedroom. The rabbit found a fake straw hat with a yellow ribbon tied to it and placed it on her head. Meanwhile, Cheese hid the camera. Shortly after that, she grabbed a few dolls. Cheese was grabbing the toy tea cups around that time. The two went back to the living room and placed everything on the floor just the way they wanted. And so, they grabbed more dolls, tea party dishes, and even brought the small table in without making a sound. They took a small break and then grabbed the chairs for the two of them. Now all they had to do was wait…

A few minutes later, Shadow woke up by the sound of giggling. He sat up and looked down. Cream and Cheese were sitting in front of him with dolls and a kiddy tea party set up. The plastic dishes had fake food, a small flower pot was in the middle of the table, and the two youngsters were holding their teacups. The black hedgehog raised an eyebrow. How in the world did they sneak all of this in while he was asleep? Sighing to himself, he shook his head.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Tea?" the peach colored rabbit held up a teacup for him.

"I'm not in the mood for tea party."

"Plllllleeeeeeaaaassssseeee? Just for a little while?"

'_Sigh'. _

"That's a yes!" Cream shoved him the teacup. "Would you like some, Cheese?" she held up the pink teapot.

"Chao!" the light blue creature nodded as he watched the rabbit poured some nonexistent tea in his cup.

"And you?" Cream turned to the hedgehog.

"I'll pass."

"Oh! I almost forgot to introduce you to my friends!"

"It's cool. I don't care."

"This here's Be-Be", the rabbit held up a red haired Barbie. "Next, there's Yasmin", she pointed to a brown haired Bratz doll. "And here's Candace", she pointed to the black haired Barbie. "Jessica", she pointed to a blonde Barbie. "Nikki", she held up a brunette Cabbage Patch doll. And so, she continued the introduction. "Mr. Teddy Bear, Ms. Pink My Little Pony, Mr. Ken, Princess Barbie, Elmo, Barney, Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, Po, Blues Clues, Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick Star, Gary the Snail, and um…Oh! And Mr. Sonic Plushie!" she picked up a Sonic plushie doll.

"DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Shadow grabbed it and shook it rapidly until the head came off. He heaved as his eyes showed flames.

Cream and Cheese had their jaws dropped in shock. What in the world was wrong with this guy? Is he on drugs? Or is he just completely crazy? One thing for sure, they now began to think that this whole tea party wasn't a good idea. Plus the makeover. They looked at each other and gulped.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Shadow decided to go see who it was, considering he doesn't want to chase down a maniac after it might kidnap Cream or Cheese. He opened the door and saw his rival. The blue hedgehog widened his eyes in shock.

"Oh…My…God…"

"What?" Shadow asked rudely.

"…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Sonic held his stomach as he fell back. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"What!?"

"Dude, have you not looked in a mirror lately?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"Why would you ask that? I know I have a sexy face."

"Yeah, it's a SEXY one indeed." The blue hedgehog snickered as tears fell out of his eyes.

"Seriously, what are you laughing at?" the Ultimate Life Form crossed his arms.

"Go look in a mirror, douchebag. Or should I say DOUCHEFAG! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Whatever Sonic was laughing about, it sure was getting on Shadow's nerves. He went down the hallway and looked at his reflection in a rounded mirror. His eyes widened in shock. Make-up, ribbons, and glitters! Where did all of that come from!? The background music played the Psycho theme as the mirror cracked. While Faker was still laughing, Shadow rushed to the bathroom and washed everything off. He growled as he pulled out the ribbons. After that, he took a short shower in order to get the glitter and nail polish off his body. When he was sure that he was good as new, he stomped to the front door.

"Oh man, that is hilarious!" Sonic was looking at the snapshot of the sleeping Shadow with make-up from Cheese's digital camera.

"Chao!" Cheese nodded with agreement.

"Gimme that damn thing!" Shadow snatched the camera and looked at the picture. He growled as his face turned red and steam came out of his ears. A couple veins appeared on his eye temples. Furiously, he deleted the picture and threw the camera away.

"Chao-chao…" Cheese flew away with fright.

"Ah, man! I wanted to post the picture on the internet", the blue hedgehog complained.

"DO YOU WANT ME TO CASTRATE YOU!?" Shadow yelled.

"…!!!" With his jaws dropped, Sonic covered his 'sacred' area and ran off.

Just as Shadow slammed the door, the two brats were gone. He looked all over the house for them. But then, he thought of something. Sometimes, small children are able to hide in hard to reach places. Shadow went to the kitchen cabinets and opened them. Opening the last one, Cream was sitting there with a nervous smile.

"You are in BIG trouble, little girl", the hedgehog said in a threatening tone. Since he was distracted again, Cheese snuck up behind him and bit his tail really hard. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!" he hollered agonizingly for the whole world to hear. "GRRR!!" he pulled Cheese off of him and threw him to the side.

"Cheese!" Cream gasped for his life.

"I guess there's no other choice…" Shadow pulled off his right glove. He grabbed the chao before it could've escaped.

'_Gulp',_ Cream covered her eyes. At that moment, her pet got spanked brutally by the angry hedgehog.

"Chao…" Cheese rubbed his dark red behind and flew away.

"You're next", the dark hedgehog turned to the little girl.

"Uh-oh…" the rabbit said with uneasiness.

* * *

(10 minutes later…)

"Oww…" Cream rubbed her bottom and weakly walked to the living room. She sat on the couch. "Ouch!" she jumped back to her feet. "It hurts to sit down!"

"Chao…" the chao slowly placed his butt in a bowl of ice. He hissed in pain.

"Kids these days", Shadow murmured as he walked in. He was rubbing his right hand nonstop.

"You're evil!" the rabbit pointed at him. Her chao pet did the same thing.

"Do you want me to use my left hand now?" the black and red creature pulled off his other glove.

"Eep!" Cream got scared. She ran to her room as her chao pet followed her.

"That's what I thought", Shadow crossed his arms. _"I could've done that to Charmy, but he has a stinger for peace sakes. Man…I sure hope that my kid will do what I say. Seriously, I thought I broke my right hand for God sakes!"_ he wiggled his throbbing hand.

* * *

Ah, yes, the almighty spanky. Don't get me wrong, but I thought Shadow's makeover was hilarious! Ugh, I hated getting spankies when I was a kid, so I had to be good no matter what! Even in stupid school! Well, I'm going to bed now. Snow day for me, yay!! R&R thanks! And if you don't know what castrate means, well, all I can say is…it's every man's nightmare…


	23. Eggman's New Weapon

No more crying! The new chappie is here! =) Yeah, I had 3 snow days in a row and now it's Saturday. Dammit! I have one more day off before I go back to school. Blah! Anyway, enjoy the chapter. And I don't own the characters!

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Chapter 23

An hour has passed since the whole mess was taken care of. This has to be the worst day of Shadow's life. No, he has suffered worse. Spending almost three days with the hyper bumble bee was just as bad as now. It was hard to say which kid is the worst. Kids these days…what the heck's going on?

Right now, the dark hero was watching some television (since there's nothing else to do) as he ate some potato chips. Lucky for him, it has been quiet around here. He hasn't heard a sound from Cream or Cheese after they had their spankings. Maybe they've learned their lesson after all. It would be nice if they stayed in their room for the rest of the day. Out of nowhere, Shadow's cell phone vibrated. He answered.

"Yo."

"Hey, Shadow! How's it going?" Rouge said on the other line.

"Go die in a fire."

"Be nice! So Vanilla wants to know how the kiddies are doing."

"They're in their room. And for once, there's silence."

"…That's bad."

"What do you mean? I'm not suffering a headache right now."

"It doesn't matter. Statistics say that 59% of the time when you don't hear the children, something's wrong."

"Alright, alright, I'm gonna check", the hedgehog sighed and walked to the rabbit's bedroom. He knocked on the door. "They're taking a nap."

"I don't believe you. Oh, and may I say now that if something bad happens to them then you would end up in trouble by Ms. Vanilla?"

"Ha, like I'm scared of her. What can she do? Sue me? Yeah right."

"Worse. She might well…Well, she told me…I'm not sure if I should tell you."

"Just say it!"

"She'll cut off your family jewels. And your lovestick."

The hedgehog dropped his cell phone in shock and fear.

"Oh…My…God."

"With an axe."

"Seriously", Shadow picked his phone back up. "Is she that evil?"

"Well, it's the time of the month for her, so yeah."

"Time of the month?"

"The menstrual cycle, duh! All women face that crap. Cramps suck!"

"Well, I'm glad that I'm a man. We men don't have to suffer anything!"

"Prostate cancer", the female bat said sarcastically.

"Well, you girls suffer breast cancer."

"So does men."

"How do you know?"

"It's the truth."

"Well, um, uh, your shopping sprees caused the economy to go bad!"

"Actually, you MEN caused the economic system to go bad because you all spend money on prostitutes!"

"Oh, and like you females need breast implants", Shadow replied again. _"But then again, I do wish that Amy's tits were larger",_ he pondered.

"Ok, we can debate on the battle of the sexes some other time. Right now, what the heck are Cream and Cheese doing?" Rouge got back to the topic.

"I'm telling you, they're…" the male hedgehog opened the door. He looked around the room and under the beds. "…gone."

"Oh no! They must've run away! Hurry and go save them!"

"This is starting to feel like that one time when I was at that haunted castle…"

"Just hurry up and go look for them. I'll try to lie for you."

Sighing to himself, the dark hedgehog hung up. That's just great. Now those brats are really starting to get on his nerves! First they put make-up on them and now they ran away! There was no time to loose. With any luck, they didn't go too far. Shadow pulled out his Emerald and disappeared by a flash.

* * *

Cream and Cheese were venturing through the park as they enjoyed the fresh air. For as long as they can remember, they've been outside their house for 20 minutes. That didn't really matter to them. The last thing they wanted to deal with was their evil babysitter. Up ahead, they saw a group of kids crowding around an ice cream truck. Both of them haven't had anything to eat, so they were hungry. Plus, ice cream was their favorite treat. Smiling with joy, the two rush to the ice cream truck. Although, they had to wait for a while because the ice cream man was taking forever. Of course, the kids started complaining.

"I want my Fudgsicle now!"

"Where's my Ice Cream Sandwich?"

"Hurry up with my Snow Cone!"

"I want my cherry Popsicle!"

"You're taking forever!"

"Yeah!" Charmy joined in. "What's taking you so long?"

"Can I get my rainbow Popsicle please?" Tails raised a hand.

"Hehehehehe! Hello, kiddies", Eggman poked his head out of the window.

"BOOOOOOOOO!!" the children had their thumbs down.

"Now, now, I'll give you your ice cream", the evil scientist. "But first!" he got back in the truck. "Now!" he commanded.

"Yes, doctor!" Decoe and Bocoe started working on a computer.

A large satellite came through the roof of the truck. It began to send out some magnetic waves throughout Station Square. All of the kids became hypnotized. Even those in the park. Their eyes had swirls in them. Dr. Eggman did the honor by pulling out a stereo and played some dramatic background music. He let out an evil laugh.

"Alright", he says to himself as he rubbed his hands together. "Listen up, you little brats!" he hollered through the microphone and speakers. "You are in my command now! As of today, you will become the destroyers of Station Square. And then you all will build my dream, Eggmanland! While you're at it, get rid of Sonic and his friends. Repeat after me…Vive Eggman (Long live Eggman)! It's in French! REPEAT!"

"Vive Eggman…Vive Eggman…Vive Eggman…" the kids repeated in a rhythmic tone.

"And now…Time to take over Station Square!" Eggman raised a fist with pride.

* * *

(10 minutes later…)

"ZOH-MY-GOD!!!" a young male panicked.

Every adult and teenager ran away from the mind controlled children. The kids began to break windows, set things on fire, and draw graffiti on random buildings. No one could stop them. Even the police ended up running away. Inside G.U.N. HQ, the commander was listening to the daily news on his old fashioned radio.

"Goooooood afternoon everyone! I am Chris Thorndkye and you're now listening to Station Square 101.9! The temperature today will be sunny skies and a high of 77 degrees. Later tonight, the temperature will drop to-"

There were sounds of class breaking and people murmuring angrily in the background.

"OH MY GOD!!" the radio announcer. "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! I'M BEING SURROUNDED BY THE CHILDREN OF THE CORN!"

The commander widened his eyes as he hears the radio announcer screaming and getting his bones broken. Something was not right. Outside, the citizens continued running for their lives from the possessed children. By hearing the screams, the middle aged commander looked out his window. At that moment, he turned on his microphone.

"LISTEN UP, SOLDIERS! THE CITY IS BEING ATTACKED BY ANGRY CHILDREN! GET OUT THERE AND KICK THEIR ASSES!"

All of the employees started laughing at that statement. They really thought that their leader was going insane. However, they were wrong. Dead wrong. By the sound of broken glass, they looked around. Out of nowhere, a lot of children tackled them down and started beating them up.

"That does it!" the commander growled after he got done placing all of his furniture at his door. "I need to contact someone…"

* * *

Meanwhile, Shadow was running away from a pack of chao in the Chao Garden. Yes, they were able to remember him from before. The hedgehog decided to check here first in order to find Cream and Cheese. In the end, he had to be put through this again. And to think he was never going to come back here again. He pulled out his Emerald and disappeared. After that, he ended up at the park. Right after that, his cell phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Shadow! It's an emergency!" the commander shouted.

"If it's about the fat guy beating up that chicken guy again-"

"No! It's different! A bunch of kids are destroying Station Square. Get your ass there and do something!"

'_Sigh',_ Shadow hung up and teleported to the city. "Whoa." That was all he could say. All of the kids were really damaging everything in sight! A couple of little boys looked at the hedgehog.

"Destroy Sonic the Hedgehog", the boys pointed at him.

"Oh, for the love of-I'm black and he's blue! Jesus Christ, does everyone need contacts or something!?" the black and red hedgehog pulled his quills furiously. Back to the subject, he dodged the boys' tackles. He began to look around for the rabbit and her chao.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Eggman laughed as he was in his Egg-Mobile. "My beautiful plan is working!"

"Eggman!"

"Hmm?" the evil scientist looked down. "Oh, well, if it isn't Shadow. What a nice surprise."

"May I ask what the hell is going on here?" Shadow asked rudely. He sensed the same two boys and evaded their attacks again. "Seriously…"

"As you can see, all of the children are my minions! And they shall demolish this place in order to build Eggmanland!"

"Wow…You're retarded."

"Mr. Sonic", a familiar voice said from behind.

"Huh?" Shadow looked back. He saw Cream, Cheese and the other children standing there with swirls in their eyes. "Again, I am not Sonic."

"It doesn't matter! Get rid of him!" Eggman pointed at him.

By following his command, the children started walking to the hedgehog like zombies. The battle would easily end by Chaos Blast, but Shadow didn't want to face any charges in court. Therefore, he has to find a way to wake them up. An idea came up.

"Look, a flying hippopotamus!" he pointed to the sky.

"Huh?" the hypnotized children looked up.

"Grrrrr", Shadow grabbed Cream. "Hey, snap out of it", he shook her by the shoulders.

"Uhhhh…" the rabbit said.

"Oh, for the love of-You know you're in trouble for running away, right?"

"Uhhhh, muhhhhh…"

"Ignoring my threats, huh?" At that moment, Shadow gave her a spanky.

"Ouch!" Cream shouted. "Where am I?" she looked around. "And how did I get here?"

"_Huh…That was weird",_ Shadow sweatdropped. He sighed to himself, knowing he has a lot of work to do.

* * *

(Nearly an hour later…)

Cream and Cheese were doing some chores around the house. They choose to do that instead of suffering some more consequences. Their babysitter was still taking care of some business in the city. Once the house was spotless, the two collapsed on the couch. Shadow appeared in the room.

"My hands…" he looked down at his throbbing hands.

"Did you give all of those kids' spankies!?" Cream asked in shock.

"Eh, most of them. The citizens finally came around and helped. However, Eggman got away. Now you know why you shouldn't run away."

"Yes I do", the rabbit nodded. "But we ran away because we wanted some ice cream. Plus, you were being mean."

"Look", Shadow sighed as he sat on the arm of the couch. "It's called discipline, alright? Doesn't your mom give you punishment?"

"No, I'm always a good girl."

"Not until today. Is it because you're with a different adult and you thought you could control the place?"

"Erm…"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Well, at least no one got injured."

There was silence.

"Ok, nevermind."

* * *

Meanwhile, Sonic was walking in the park as he whistled a tune. He stopped in his tracks once he saw a group of kids walking to him like zombies.

"What the hell?"

"Must...kill...Sonic...All hail Shadow", the kids spoke as they were closing in on the hedgehog.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Sonic took off running.

* * *

LOL, what a crazy chapter! And I think Eggman has gone nuts! He will try anything for world domination. I think his theme song should be

'Everyone wants to Rule the World' by Tears for Fears. It may be an old 80's song, but I like it! R&R please! Thank you!


	24. Wonderland? WTF?

Before you read this chapter, I want you to know why I haven't updated in a long time…

1: Too many tests and quizzes to study on. Seriously, it's still January!

2: I could've updated on Monday, but I went to see 'Avatar in 3D' instead. Go see it!

3: Not a lot of motivation.

4: My computer was being retarded.

5: Suffered a bit of hiatus.

6: Sudden headaches.

7: I get distracted by my videogames. XD

8: What? I had to take a break for my arms!

Well, there you go. Now you have no reason to kill me! =) I hope…Anyway, I don't own the characters and do please enjoy this chappie.

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Chapter 24

That night, our favorite dark hero was sitting out in the backyard so he could get some fresh air. After all, he needed a break from what he's been through today. He was able to send the brats to bed and made sure that everything was locked so they wouldn't escape again. Still, he doesn't have to wait very long for his freedom. Maybe Vanilla will be back in the morning like other gamblers around the world.

By the sound of shaking bushes, Shadow got into his fighting position. Out came a pure golden chao with diamond eyes. It looked at the hedgehog with curiosity. On the other hand, the Ultimate Life Form had dollar signs in his eyes. If he could make money off of that creature, then what was he waiting for!? He took one step and the chao flew off into darkness. Instead of going through the painful cactus garden, he went around it and followed the chao.

* * *

Minutes later, the golden chao flew into a cave with haste. Far behind, Shadow was slashing some tree branches and bushes with a weed whacker. Upon seeing the cave's entrance, he throws the tool to the side. He traveled inside with his hand on the wall for safety reasons. It was so dark in there! How was he going to find the chao now? Come to think of it, was it real? True, Shadow could've called it quits, but he had to find the answers now or later.

Suddenly, he falls into a large hole. He was about to fly back up with his air shoes, but because he was falling upside down, he accidentally flew down instead. Not only that, gravity wasn't being nice today. Murmuring to himself, he crossed his arms and waits for something to happen. Seconds later, there were various colored fireflies giving some light. Shadow looked around and saw a bunch of furniture floating about. A random lamp floated to him, giving him the chance to turn on the light. At that moment, other light bulbs lit up. That was strange. Why are the light bulbs coming on like that? Before the hedgehog went into deep thought, he bumped into the couch and lied there. Shrugging his shoulders, he kicks back and relaxed. All of the sudden, everything started falling down fast. Again, gravity was being an asshole. The hedgehog held onto the arm of the couch for his dear life.

**CRASH!!**

* * *

Five minutes later, Shadow opened his eyes and rubbed his head. He looked up and sees nothing but darkness. With his strength, he gets everything off of him and stretches out his arms and legs. After he got done, he looked to his left and noticed a hallway. Hopefully, the rich looking chao didn't go too far. Nonetheless, he travels down the hallway and reaches to a large room with red walls and a black/white checkered floor. Up ahead was a wide door. The shape of the doorknob looked like a familiar crocodile that Shadow knew and hated. Putting that thought to the side, he walks to the door and turns the knob (which was in the mouth of the crocodile head).

"Hey, that's my throat!" the crocodile complained.

"Jesus!" Shadow jumped back. "Vector?"

"No, who is this Vector? I am Mr. Doorknob. If you want to get through, you must past a test."

"Don't tell me I have to find another damn computer room."

"What?"

"Nevermind. You're in my way", the hedgehog said as his body glowed red.

"W-W-W-W-Wait, what're you doing?" the talking doorknob shook with fear.

"CHAOS BLAST!"

* * *

Through an hour, he was able to take care of the annoying door, rode on a random 'Pirates of the Caribbean' ship, and headed for a forest. It sure was creepy, but Shadow wasn't scared. He was focusing on finding the chao and how he was going to make some money. At a pond, he could see a familiar fat cat with pink stripes playing with a frog. Wherever he was, it sure felt odd around here. Near the exit of the forest, he saw two memorable hedgehogs standing there like soldiers. Blinking twice, he sweatdrops.

"What the hell?"

"Howdy! I'm Tweedle-Dee!" the white hedgehog introduced himself.

"And I'm Tweedle-Dum", the blue hedgehog held his hand out for a shake. He gets knocked down by a punch. "Owwie!"

"That wasn't very nice-" the white hedgehog was about to say something, but he received a kick in the groin. "Oof!!" he fell to the ground in pain.

"More like Faker and Punching Bag", Shadow commented and walked off. He suddenly sees a rabbit rushing by screaming 'I'm late!' over and over again. "Cream? Ok, what the hell is going on here?"

* * *

Sometime later, he accidentally entered a tea party. The woman wearing a large hat looked like Rouge and the rabbit looked like Vanilla. Besides drinking tea, they were playing Monopoly.

"Care to join us, hun?" the female rabbit looked at the male hedgehog.

"No thanks", Shadow replied. "Where the hell am I? And have you two seen a golden chao around here?"

"Why, you're in Wonderland, hun."

"A golden chao?" the bat pondered. "Not that I recall. But if it's gold you say, then I will keep an eye on it."

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" a recognizable fox pops out of the hot tea cup. "SOMEONE SAVE ME! TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR!"

"Would you like a piece of our un-birthday cake?" the bat hatter held up a piece of pink cake.

"I'll pass", Shadow walks off.

* * *

Another hour later, the hedgehog reaches to a huge castle after going through a hedge maze. The guards weren't cards if you were guessing. They were robots. All of them turned to Shadow and pointed their guns at him. Since he didn't want to surrender, he decided to kick some ass!

A few minutes later, the King of Hearts walk out, wondering what the fuss was all about. He gasped at the sight of his destroyed guards. His glance turns to a black and red hedgehog ripping up the last one in half.

"You!" he pointed.

"Huh?" the hedgehog turned to him. "Eggman? What the hell?"

"So, you like to beat up my guards, huh?" the king crossed his arms. "Very well then…OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

"Hey, that's my line!" the Queen of Hearts said as she tapped her foot.

"What the-Amy!? Are you serious!? What the-I thought, we-Why would you-What-Ah, screw it", Shadow crossed his arms.

"Very well then", the king sighed. "OFF WITH HIS FAMILY JEWELS!" A pack of robots appeared with chainsaws.

"Ah, shit", Shadow sweatdropped. _"Hey, wait a minute",_ he pulls out his Emerald. "Chaos Control!" He was able to stop time before he could've got killed. "Screw the golden chao, I'm outta here." He was about to walk off, but he didn't want to leave without getting a souvenir. His choice of a souvenir was the Queen. He carries her in bridal style and takes off.

* * *

(Minutes later…)

"Why did you bring me to this house?" the pink hedgehog looked at a large house.

"You know", Shadow wrapped an arm around her waist. "I think it's time for you to get a new king. The other one is soooooo ugly."

"Really?" the queen crossed her arms. "And how do you suppose you can do that?"

"Well…"

* * *

A couple hours later, the two hedgehogs finished their 'business' and decided to lie under the covers. Both of them were panting with sweat.

"Now, that was amazing", the queen sighed dreamily.

"True on that", Shadow agreed.

"YOU!!" the rowdy king barged in the room. "HOW DARE YOU! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" he pulls out an AK-47.

"Oh, dear!" the female hedgehog gasped.

"Oh, shit", the Ultimate Life Form widened his eyes with fear.

**BANG!**

* * *

"Holy shit!" the black hedgehog woke up and fell off the couch. Rubbing his head, he looks around. "Why the hell did I have a weird dream like that?" He looked at his watch that read 3:30 AM. "Wow."

"WHOOOOOO!!" Vanilla came in with two empty wine bottles. She collapsed forward.

"Shh! Not so loud!" Rouge whispered.

"Oh, wow", Shadow turned to them. "Had fun?"

"Sort of", the white bat replied. "She did go overboard with the gambling, so now she's nearly in debt. And because she was so depressed, she decided to do some binge drinking."

"…?"

"Well, I guess you can go home now. Meanwhile, I'll help Miss Vanilla to bed."

"…"

"What?"

"I just had the weirdest dream of my life. And I don't think I'll ever sleep again."

* * *

LOLOLOL! That was so random! Finally, I was able to update! R&R, thanks!


	25. Last there's Tails

(Crawling to computer) Must…update…fanfic…The school…Homework…Tests and quizzes…Brain hurts…Oh, God, the pain… (Climbs on the chair) Ok, I made it. Enjoy! Oh, and I don't own the characters!

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Chapter 25

(The next Friday…)

"Why do we always have to do this on the weekend?" the Ultimate Life Form complained as he and Rouge were walking down a path.

"Come on, you know this is the benefit of your child", the white bat replied. "Besides, this task should be really easy for you."

"Who am I going to baby-sit now? The fox brat?"

"Correct."

"Hm. Well, he shouldn't be a pain in the ass like the other two. Where are we going anyway?"

"We're going to visit him in the hospital", Rouge held up a bouquet of sunflowers. "He fell down the stairs about 3 days ago, and we're going to give him some support."

"So the proclaimed 'Smartest Ass Alive' ended up falling down the stairs?" Shadow raised an eyebrow. "What a do-do."

"Be nice, Shadow."

* * *

Inside the hospital, many nurses and doctors were busy with their patients. The janitors were cleaning up a few areas with blood and the backyard with puke near the stairs. Inside room 112, Tails was laying in his hospital bed watching TV. He had a cast on his right arm and bandages wrapped around his legs. Sure he had to wait for a long time to return home, but at least he got some nice hospitality around here.

"_Hmm…I wonder why people always say that hospitals are scary and depressing",_ he said in thought. _"Far as I know, I'm doing just fine. I get free food, the nurses here are hott, and I can stay up to watch TV if I want to. And the doctors here are a great help. Best of all, I don't have to deal with my idiotic friends."_

"Mr. Prower, you have a couple visitors", Nurse Joy opened the door.

"Fine, fine", the fox sighed.

"Hiya Tails", Rouge walked in with flowers.

"Hey, Rouge, do you have any change?" Shadow came up behind her. "I need to buy a soda."

At that moment, Tails widened his eyes with fear. He could hear the famous 'Psycho (Murder-Shower Scene)' music playing in the background. Further in front of him was his worse nightmare. He saw the hedgehog looking at him and gulped. Then he suddenly envisioned him as a devilish creature with a chainsaw. Dreadfully, he screams and moves around in his bed.

"Mr. Prower, please calm down", the nurse rushed to his side.

"DEMON! SATAN! THE HORROR! MADNESS! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" the fox continued to have his fright seizure.

"What's wrong, Tails?" the bat asked. She heard Shadow snickering behind her and elbowed him in the gut.

"Oof!" he grunted in pain.

"What's going on here?" the doctor came in.

"He's losing himself, doctor!" Nurse Joy shrugged her shoulders.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!! CROSS, CROSS! I NEED MY CROSS! EVIL! EVIIIIILLLLLL!!!" Tails wouldn't shut up.

"I guess we have no other choice", the doctor sighed and snapped his fingers. A group of nurses appeared behind him and then restrained the poor fox down. While they did that, he pulled out a needle with some sort of medicine (or drug) in it. He sticks the needle in the fox's shoulder.

"The demon…is here…Evil…Evil…Evil…" the fox genius fell unconscious.

"Now THAT was freaking weird", the doctor placed his hands on his hips.

* * *

(One hour later…)

"Uh…" Tails woke up. "Where am I?"

"Are you ok, Tails?" Rouge asked while she was sitting in a chair next to him.

"Whoa…I thought I had this weird dream that I saw a demon…"

"It actually happened. You were put to sleep because you went crazy."

"…Oh. Did you come here by yourself?"

"Well…"

"The vending machine's empty", Shadow walked in with his arms crossed. "And I'm thirsty dammit."

Once again, the 'Psycho' theme played in the background. Tails shook in fright as he whimpered. The bat looked at Shadow who only shrugged his shoulders. Although he couldn't have another seizure attack, because he was strapped down in his bed. Shivers were sent down to his spine.

"What's with this kid?" the dark hedgehog raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno", Rouge shrugged her shoulders. "Why do you look so frightened?"

"D-D-D-D-D-Demon", Tails shivered as his eyes widened.

"Um…I'm gonna get the nurse now", the bat got up. "Shadow, watch over him", she ordered and walked out.

"Joy", Shadow murmured and took a seat in a chair near the TV. He turned to Tails who was still staring at him with trepidation. "What the hell are you looking at?" he narrowed his eyebrows.

"Eek!" the fox squeaked and shivered some more.

"Seriously, what is your problem? It's because I'm black, isn't it?"

"No."

"Hmph."

"Just don't eat me alive, please!"

"What?"

"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"

"What?"

"I said nothing!" The fox tried to reach for the help button on the dresser next to him.

This was starting to get on Shadow's nerves. Everytime they cross paths, Tails is the only one that freaks out, no matter what day it is. Filled with impatience, Shadow got up and shoved the button away from the fox brat. He crossed his arms.

"Crap!" the fox began to freak out.

"Ok, seriously, why do you keep freaking out everytime you see me!?" the hedgehog grabbed him by the neck.

"Because…I see you…as a demon", Tails tried to breathe. "Ever since we first met, I always thought that you were a very creepy guy." His neck was released. "Aye!" he exhaled some air.

"A demon? Why is that?"

"Well, you're a bad guy. All bad guys look like demons to me."

"So the Joker is a demon to you?"

"No, he just looks like a really freaky clown."

"What about Chewbacca?"

"Yeah, he's freaking scary. Although, he's not a bad guy."

"Hm. Now I see what's wrong with you. You need to stop watching crazy movies. Especially at night."

"…Oh."

"Ok, we're back", Rouge returned with a nurse. "Is everything ok?"

"Hm…" Tails came up with a revenge plan. _"This is for you Cosmo."_ He inhaled some air. "SECURITY! HE TRIED TO KILL ME!" he pointed at Shadow.

"Why, you little…!" the hedgehog crackled his fists. Before he could've punched the boy, he got tackled down by a few buffed security guards.

* * *

(Later that night…)

"So…How long are you going to be like this?" Amy asked.

"Honestly, I'm not quite sure", the male hedgehog replied. He was in bed with lots of bandages wrapped around his entire body.

* * *

LOLOLOL! Hilarious! Yeah, I finally returned! Stupid school! Well, no time to complain, just R&R, thanks! Oh, and please do not take offense to the black joke thing. Besides I'm black (though I look mixed), so it's cool. =p


	26. Shadow's New Pet

I have returned! YAY! Now this chapter should be enjoyable…At least in my opinion. Anyway, have fun and don't hurt yourself! XD I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS!

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Chapter 26

On a nice Sunday afternoon, a dog was resting under a tree as it stared whatever was ahead of him. It wasn't just a dog, it was a Doberman Pinscher. Although, it looked like it was lonely and needed some company. All of the other dogs in the park had people to play with, he didn't. Suddenly, his eyes fall upon a black and red hedgehog that was texting on his cell phone while eating his hamburger at the same time. Because the hedgehog was distracted, he barely lost his balance on a crack and dropped his lunch.

"GODDAMMIT!" he yelled with fury. "Man, if only I didn't drop my food. I mean, who's going to eat it now, a dog?" He suddenly heard a loud 'Woof!' and looked to his left. The Doberman Pinscher walked to the hamburger and looked at him. "Fine, eat it", he walked off.

Greedily, the Pinscher gobbled down the half eaten hamburger and licked its lips. He watched the hedgehog walk off with curiosity. Did that really just happen? Was he really offered food from the anthropomorphic hedgehog? For some reason, he started to respect him. And it was all because he had some food to eat. Well, what do you expect? He's a dog for peace sakes! Excitedly, he rushes to the hedgehog as he barked a couple times.

"Huh?" Shadow stopped and looked back. "Oh, shit!" he got tackled down by the Pinscher. After that, the dog licked his face twice. "Yuck…" he said with disgust.

"Hey there, Shadow", Silver appeared in the scene. "Is that your dog?" he pointed to the mutt.

"Well, uh-" The dark hedgehog was interrupted when the Pinscher got off of him and started growling. "Oh, now what?"

"Um, uh, easy there", Silver took a big step back. He examined the dog's sharp teeth and gulped.

"GRRRRR!!!" The dog's growling got louder as it got into its attacking position.

"I'm running away now!" the white hedgehog took off. He let out a fearful scream as he left a track of dust behind him.

"Um…What just happened?" Shadow sat up. The dog walked to him and sniffed him. "Sit!" The dog followed the hedgehog's commands. "Hmm…" he rubbed his chin

* * *

(Later that day…)

"I have returned", the male hedgehog walked in the house with his new pet.

"Oh, hi, Shadow-What's with the dog?" Amy noticed the guard-like dog.

"GRRRRR!!!" the Pinscher growled at her.

"Hey, easy there", Shadow snapped his fingers. His pet kept quiet. "Now stay."

"Wow…He's actually following your orders", Amy placed her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, and he eats food off the ground."

"…Duh, he's a dog, Shadow."

"So yeah…I was wondering…" the Ultimate Life Form had his arms behind him and stood on his toes like an innocent child. "Since I've passed some babysitting tests, got this new house, and massaged your feet last night, can I keep him plllllleeeeeeeeaaaassssseeee?"

"Well…Taking care of a pet is like taking care of a child. I mean, you gotta feed it, bathe it, and clean up its poop-"

"I'll make dinner and give you a back massage."

"Ok, you can keep him."

"Sweet."

"So what are you going to name him?" Amy sat on the bottom step.

"Hmm…" Shadow pondered to himself. "Either Hunter, Killer, Fang, Dark, Spike, Damien, Vincent, Rocky, or Butch…" A light bulb appeared above his head. "We'll call him Butch."

"Um…ok."

* * *

And so, 3 days have passed. Surprisingly, Shadow was enjoying his new pet. Yes, he bought him a leash, a collar, and loads of dog food. Whenever he returned home from work, he was first greeted by a couple licks. The downside to that was that Amy didn't want to give him a kiss unless he took a shower. Other than that, he taught his pet everything, even about Faker…

"Ok, Butch. Here's a Faker plushie that I've found an hour ago. Now remember this, whenever you see him, just rip him up into pieces." He tosses the plushie to Butch and he totally ripped it to pieces with his teeth as it growled. "Good boy."

* * *

One day, Sonic and Knuckles were walking their way to Shadow's new house. But they didn't know what was coming to them.

"Why are we going there again?" the echidna asked.

"Well, I heard that it was a nice place and I'm just curious. Plus, I need you to back me up in case Shadow and I get into a fist fight", the blue hero replied. Right on time, he reached to the front door and ringed the doorbell. His rival opened the door.

"What do you want?"

"Wow…Nice place, dude."

"I am so jealous", Knuckles stared at the house.

"Yeah…Since you two came here uninvited, I guess I have to get rid of you", Shadow warned and slammed the door. A few seconds later, he opened the door. "Sick 'em, Butch", he commanded. His pet rushed out and barked at the Faker and Knucklehead.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!!" the two ran off while Butch chased after them.

"Hmph, suckers."

* * *

However, when it comes to having a dog, there are a few setbacks. First, it can scare the mailman away. For example, on a sunny Wednesday morning, the mailman got out of his truck and pulled out a couple envelopes and puts them in the mailbox. He gasped once he saw the mean dog growling at him.

"EEEEEEEK!!!" He jumped in his truck and drove off wildly.

* * *

Second, a dog will always chase after its tail. And it can get noisy.

"Amy, why is he doing that?"

"I have no idea. But I would watch your tail if I were you."

At that moment, Shadow covered his tail and tip toed to the kitchen.

* * *

Lastly, a dog (especially if it's a male) can have a crush on a female. Either a female dog, a cut out board, or a lady in the household. One night, Butch looked at the TV which was showing a romantic gangster movie. The two humans were sharing a kiss. Of course, the hedgehogs were making out as well. Filled with jealousy, Butch got on Amy and started licking her like crazy as she shrieked.

"Down, Butch, down", Shadow pushed him off. "Rule #1: No one gets to lick her but me."

"Oh, God, I smell like dog breath", Amy wiped the saliva off her face.

* * *

(The next day…)

Speaking of females, Butch noticed a white female Pomeranian staring at him from across the street. Repeatedly, he bit on his leash until he was free. After he rushes to the dog. Sometime later, Shadow walked out and noticed the leash was broken.

"What the hell?" He widened his eyes when he sees his pet doing 'something' in the bushes with a whiny dog. "Oh…My…Jesus." Slowly, he walks back in his house so he won't get sued.

* * *

In the end, Butch was a great guard dog…to certain extent.

"See, I told you that everything would work", the dark hedgehog kicked back on the couch.

"Yes…But there is one thing I want you to do for me", Amy sat down next to him. "TELL YOUR DOG TO STOP RUINING MY GARDEN!" she shook him by the shoulders.

"Alright, alright", Shadow got up and walked outside. His pet's new leash was broken. "Ah, crap." Up ahead, he sees Butch chasing after the female puppy until they end up in the bushes. _"Seriously, he's hornier than I am",_ he scratched his head.

* * *

ROFLMAO! Wow, that was hilarious. Hm…I want a doggy now. But I'll make sure to get a very good leash so it won't harass any of the neighbor's dogs, LOL. Sadly, the economy is jacked up, so I gotta save some money…=( Wait…Doesn't it seem kind of strange that an animal is having another animal as a pet? Actually, Big has a pet frog, so oh, well. R&R please! Thank you!


	27. The Good Ole Days

GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Enough with the tests, homework, and school!! AAAAHHHH!! Ooh and it's snowing again! Too bad I'm not gonna have another snow day, because it's only gonna snow today and tomorrow, on a freaking weekend! Anyway, on with the chapter!

P.S., if this chapter's short, I apologize. Thanks to school, I can barely come up with some ideas…

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Chapter 27

(One month later…)

"So, Amy", Shadow wrapped an arm around his lady. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"No", the pink hedgehog was reading a magazine about motherhood.

"I think maybe we should get busy, if you know what I mean", the dark hedgehog twirled a piece of her hair.

"You know my stomach's getting bigger right?"

"Oh…" he looks down at her belly, which seemed a bit larger than before. "Well, can you make it smaller?"

**FALCON PUNCH!!**

"Oww", he sits up and rubs his nose.

* * *

A few days later, Amy walks in the kitchen and sees Shadow pouring a glass of red wine. She raised an eyebrow with confusion.

"What are you doing?"

"It's Wednesday", the male hedgehog replied. "And to me, it's Wine day, considering that both of them start with the letter 'W'."

"Um…" Amy scratches her head.

"It's too bad that you can't join me."

"Huh? Why is that?"

"Simple." He walks to her and leans to her right ear. "Because you're pregnant. So ha", he whispered teasingly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get my drink on", he makes his way to the living room.

"…..Rats", Amy snapped her fingers with frustration.

* * *

The next afternoon, Shadow was sitting on the couch watching some television. He stopped channel surfing once he came across a show about couples racing each other.

"And the married Johnson couple wins the last race!" an announcer said with cheer. "As winners, they get to receive $10,000! Plus, a vacation to Hawaii!"

"Dammit", the hedgehog complained. _"If only Amy wasn't pregnant, then we would've won that race and got those prizes. Sure she's slower than I am, but I can perform Chaos Control. True it sounds like cheating, but who gives a shit? People cheat all the time,"_ he said in thought.

"Say, um, Shadow?" Amy walked in and rubbed her hands. "You think you can help me out for a little bit?"

"With what?" Shadow turned off the TV.

"Um, well, uh…Maybe a few chores around here?"

"Why?"

"C'mon, I need some help."

"If I do, can we have a few quickies?"

"Oh, geez", the pink hedgehog slapped her forehead. "Yes."

"Other than that, you seem like you can do them on your own", the Ultimate Life Form commented.

"Yeah, but I'm tired."

"_And now she's starting to develop some laziness",_ he rolled his eyes.

* * *

(And so, the next day at G.U.N…)

"You seem down", Rouge commented.

"Well, it's just that…" Shadow kicked back on his new desk. "Everything has changed."

"What do you mean?"

"Me and Amy. So much has changed between us."

"Oh…it's because she's pregnant, huh?"

"Yeah."

The white bat pondered to herself. True she thinks that Shadow needs to grow up, but she couldn't help the feeling of assistance. Not only she was his close friend, she was also his therapist. Hopefully, she can be a great problem solver.

"So tell me", she pulled out a notepad and a pencil. "What's been going on between you two?"

"…" Shadow gave her a weird look but decided to tell her everything. "Well, for starters, her mood swings are getting worse."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You should've seen her last week…"

* * *

(FLASHBACK!)

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!" Amy yelled as she pulled out the drawers. "Where the hell is my curling iron!?" She turned to Shadow who was holding out for her with a shocked look on his face. "Oh, thanks, sweetie", she quickly takes it and goes to the bathroom.

"'Dear Diary_'_", Shadow started writing in his personal notebook. "_'_Amy has gone coo-coo_'_."

* * *

(END OF FLASHBACK!)

"And what else?" Rouge asked.

"Supposedly, she says that she was going on a diet, but I caught her red handed about 3 nights ago", the hedgehog replied.

* * *

(FLASHBACK!)

It was 2:40 AM when Shadow tossed in bed and searched for his babe with his hand. Strangely enough, he could only feel the sheet and pillow. He sat up and looked around. Where has she gone? After taking time to wake himself up, he began to look around for her. Suddenly, he notices that the kitchen light was on. Who knows, a burglar's probably trying to steal some of his food! Using his secret agent skills, Shadow makes his way down the stairs without making a sound. After that, he takes a peek in the kitchen. Raising an eyebrow, he sees Amy sleep walking as she began to make some ice cream.

"_What the hell?"_

* * *

(END OF FLASHBACK!)

"Well, that happens, Shadow", the bat sighed. "What else has been happening?"

"We…Ok, you probably don't want to know", Shadow looked away.

"No, no, it's cool. After all, I am trying to help you out."

'_Sigh'._ "We haven't had a lot of sex."

At that moment, Rouge's pencil snapped. She raised an eyebrow, thinking that he was an idiot. Seriously, what is it with him and sex? Is he a sex addict? Rouge let out a sigh and pulls out a pen.

"Are you serious?"

"Oh, come on, that's the worst part of the story", Shadow protested. "To be honest, I miss the good ole days. I had room in the bed, I could eat everything before she does…And best of all, we could have all the sex we wanted."

"Oh, geez", the bat slapped her forehead.

"_The one thing I miss the most is when she puts on that sexy lingerie…"_ the hedgehog thought to himself. He could see it now. His lady love wearing a silk red basque and panties. "Mm-hmm, come to Papa."

**POW!**

"What was that for!?" Shadow rubbed his head.

"Kindly keep your fantasies to yourself", Rouge crossed her arms.

* * *

ROFL! Oh, Shadow, you crazy coot you! (Shakes head) Bah, it's not my problem! R&R please thanks!

But wait! There's more! The 'Ultimate Challenge' comes up in the next chapter! What is this Ultimate Challenge? Just wait and see! =)


	28. Baby Blues Part 1

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Almost 200 reviews! Whoo-hoo! Anyway, I am really sorry that I haven't updated in a long time. I have many reasons…

1)Tests, homework-Basically, school…

2)I have a boyfriend now so I've been hanging with him a lot

3)Almost couldn't think of any ideas

4)Job hunting

And there you have it. And now… (Drum roll) Here is the new chapter to this awesome story! I don't own the characters. R&R please! Enjoy!

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Chapter 28

It was 3:00 AM on a quiet Saturday night. Many citizens were sleeping off a hard week at work, school, etc. There were others that were just returning home from several clubs. However, that's not the entire point of what's coming up. What is about to happen now is something…unexpected.

Amy was sleeping peacefully while Shadow was snoring like a bear. Suddenly, there were sounds of knocking on the front door. The pink hedgehog woke up and rubbed her eyes. She turned over to her dark hero who was snoozing away. There was no doubt that he didn't hear anything because of his loud snoring. Shrugging to herself, Amy got out of bed and went to the front door. Who the hell would be knocking the door this late? Once Amy made it to the front door, she took a deep breath so she wouldn't yell at the top of her lungs. She opened it and was surprised to see who it was.

"Sonic?"

"Hiya, Amy, how's it going?" the blue hedgehog waved.

"It's freaking 3 AM, why are you here?" Amy yawned as she rubbed her eyes.

"Well, I just need to ask one little favor."

"If it's about borrowing some money again-"

"No, no, it's not that this time. See, me and my siblings are going to see Crush 40 in Twilight City, and we're gonna be staying there for a few days."

"Ok, and?" Amy crossed her arms.

"Well…" Sonic rubbed the back of his head. He points down to a bundle with a cover on top of it.

"Hm?" Amy gets down on her knees and removes the blanket. She awes at the sight of a lime green baby hedgehog sleeping peacefully. "Cute", she commented.

"Yeah, he's Manic's son, Nathan", the blue hedgehog smiled at the sight of his nephew. "Anyway, pllllllleeeeeeaaaaassssseeee, can you keep an eye on him?" he begged on his knees.

"Um…" Amy stood back up.

"I promise we'll pay you back."

"…Sure", the pink hedgehog shrugged her shoulders.

"Sweet!" Sonic whispered with excitement. "Here's some baby stuff and other crap", he shoves the diaper bag and other baby belongs to Amy. "Welp, see ya later!" He dashes away with his supersonic speed.

"_That moron_", Amy narrowed her eyebrows. _"The least he could do was helping me put everything inside. And he better bring me a souvenir for this."_ She looks down at the infant again. _"I wonder what Shadow will say about this…"_

* * *

Several hours later, Shadow finally woke up and made his way downstairs. Just before he entered the kitchen, he hears the sound of babbling. He looks back and sees a lime green infant hedgehog with light blue eyes. The baby was staring at him with curiosity. Rubbing his eyes, Shadow walks into the kitchen and sees Amy making breakfast.

"We have a problem."

"What do you mean?"

"There's a baby in the living room."

"Is there a problem with that?" Amy flipped a pancake and caught it.

"We're not Brangelina, Amy. There's no time to be adopting random babies", Shadow crossed his arms.

"I didn't adopt him silly", she giggled. "Let's just say that I decided to baby-sit him for a few days."

"Oh. So whose kid is it?"

"I would tell you, but you might freak out."

"You can tell me, I won't freak out."

"Ok", Amy sighed as she turned off the stove and turned to the dark hedgehog. "His name is Nathan, and he's Sonic's nephew, and Manic's son. See, them and Sonia are going to see Crush 40 in concert in Twilight City and planned on staying there for about 3 or 4 days. And since on one else had time to put babysitting on their schedules, Sonic came here earlier and dropped Nathan off. So therefore, we got a new responsibility in this house." Shadow was speechless. "Well?"

"Gimme a few seconds", the black and red hedgehog made his way upstairs.

There was silence for almost a minute.

"WHAT THE HELL!? GODDAMMIT!! DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!!"

Thanks to his angry shouts, Nathan started crying.

"Great…" Amy slapped her forehead.

* * *

A little while later, Amy finished feeding Nathan some baby food and sat him on her lap so they could watch TV together. The only thing that was on at the moment was some sports. Shadow came in and sat next to Amy as he stared at the infant with suspicions.

"Why are you looking like that?" the pink hedgehog sweatdropped.

"He has a lot of Faker's similarities", the Ultimate Life Form replied. "Therefore, I don't like him already."

"He's just a baby, Shadow", Amy gasped at his comment. "Besides, he's super cute", she held Nathan to him. "Go on, hold him."

'Sigh', Shadow took the infant and placed him on his lap.

"See? What did I tell ya?"

"…"

"Well?"

Without any words, the dark hedgehog gave Nathan back to Amy. He crossed his arms as Amy gave him a weird look.

"What's up?"

"He stinks. He needs a diaper change." Nathan started whining, making Shadow cover his ears.

* * *

That night, Amy was awakening by the sound of Nathan crying. She tossed to the side and sees the baby squirming and crying to himself. Shadow was nowhere to be found. However, that didn't matter right now. Yawning loudly, Amy picked Nathan up and cradled him until his crying softened. Once that was out of the way, she checked his diaper and saw that it was clean. She came to the conclusion that he was hungry. Still shushing the baby, she walks down to the living room and places the baby in his bundle. After that, she makes her way to the kitchen in order to make some milk. While Nathan continued to cry, Shadow sat up on the couch and covered his ears. He picks his cover and walks upstairs. Seconds later, Amy returns to the living room and feeds Nathan. With the baby finally asleep, she heads back to the bedroom. She walked in and saw Shadow sleeping deeply in the bed. Amy blinked twice. He wasn't there when she woke up, so…

"Oh, forget it", she sighed. She gently placed Nathan on the bed and crawled in herself. She pulls the cover over everyone and falls asleep.

* * *

Finally, I have updated! Yep, time for some difficult babysitting, Shadow! What will happen next? We shall find out next time! R&R please! Spring Break is almost here! W00t!


	29. Baby Blues Part 2

HELLLLLLOOOOOOOO EVERYBODY! Yes, I am finally back, after a long hiatus. Heck, I had to take some time off of Fanfiction for some time, but I apologize that I've been gone for so long. Heck, the people who have recently favored and reviewed this story really wanted me to continue, so yeah, I'm updating so that way everyone can be happy. In case you're wondering what has been going on, here is a list…

1) Final exams, I had to study for those.

2) Welp, I'm single now. Yeah, I got dumped, but I'll be ok. Being single is fun anyway. =)

3) Prom!

4) Graduation

5) Attending graduation parties (including mine)

6) I went to a cousin's wedding just last weekend

7) A lot of job hunting. (Sigh). Still no luck… =(

8) I couldn't come up with new ideas at the time

9) Laziness. I swear it gets me everytime, LOL

10) Stupid computer kept acting. Thank god I got a new laptop!

11) Preparations for college this fall.

Anyway, now that I rest my case, enjoy the chapter! =D

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Chapter 29

The next day, Nathan was the first one to wake up as he turned over to the dark hedgehog. Curiously, he crawled up to his chest and began to pull the white fury area as he babbled. After that, he began to yank on one of Shadow's ears. The male hedgehog growled as he took the baby's hand off of his ear and went back to sleep. However, Nathan wasn't done yet. Taking a bit too far, he grabs a hold of Shadow's nose and squeezes it a few times.

"Seriously," Shadow sighed harshly as he opened his eyes. He removed the baby's hand and sat up. He looked over and saw that Amy was in a deep sleep. Unfortunately, that means that he has to look after the infant. Letting out another sigh, he picks up the baby and leaves the room.

A while later, he takes Nathan to the living room and places him on the floor. In order to keep it entertained and out of trouble, he turns on the television to a cartoon channel and leaves. The baby crawled to the television and examined the colorful characters beating up each other with giant sticks. With that out of the way, Shadow went to the kitchen and began to make his own breakfast. All he did was pour some Frosted Flakes and milk in one bowl. Of course you may have figured it out, he cannot cook. Once he got done with his food, he puts the bowl and spoon in the sink and makes his way back to the living room. He stops when he notices Nathan sitting on the floor near the table. The baby hedgehog crawled to Shadow as it babbled. This seemed strange to the black and red hedgehog. Normally, he thought that the infant would be afraid of him, but no. It turns out that Nathan sort of likes him after all.

"Fine, what do you want?" Shadow picks up the baby. To answer his question, Nathan began to pull on his chest hair. "Quit it", he removed the baby's hand. The baby didn't give up as he grabbed the chest hair and began to pull harder. "I said quit it", Shadow warned, but tried not to yell. And before he knew it, Nathan was able to pull a few strands of his chest hair. Not only it hurt Shadow a little, but it also made him mad. _"Great. Now I have to worry about this little brat creating bold spots on me."_

* * *

Sometime later, Amy came downstairs and hears Nathan crying. She looks over at the couch and sees Shadow trying to feed the baby with a bottle of milk. By the look on his face, he was starting to get frustrated. Sighing to herself, Amy walks over to the rescue.

"Need some help?" she bothered to ask.

"Be my guest", Shadow handed her the baby and the bottle.

"No need to get impatient, Shadow", Amy sat down next to him. She looks at the bottle and notices something.

"What?" the black hedgehog shrugged his shoulders.

"Shadow, its plain milk. You gotta mix it with baby formula and heat it up."

"You're kidding me. I thought you just give a baby some milk and get it over with."

"Well, some babies prefer breast milk or baby formula in their milk."

"But it's just MILK."

"Boy, you have lots to learn. Follow me", Amy got up and went to the kitchen.

Shadow sighed as he followed her. In order for her to give him instructions, he had to hold the cry baby while she shows him how to make the beverage for him. It wasn't easy to concentrate, because Nathan's crying was so close to making Shadow deaf. Luckily, Amy got done and began to feed the baby.

"Wait. Why don't you give it a try?" she suggested.

"Are you sure?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Look, I'll show you", Amy gave the infant to Shadow and helped him hold it up right. "Use one arm to support him and use your free hand to feed him", she gave him the bottle.

Carefully, Shadow kept holding Nathan as he gave him the bottle. At least there was some peace and quiet. As he was feeding Nathan, he began to feel a sort of tingle in his chest. What was it? Where did it come from? Better yet, how can he stop it? Amy on the other hand, thought that the scene was cute and wanted to take a picture. Unluckily, the moment was ruined when Nathan finished his bottle and started crying again.

"Oh, now what?" Shadow grumbled. Yep, that tingle was long gone.

"You have to burp him, Shadow", the pink hedgehog explained.

"How?"

"Like this." Amy took the time to help Shadow hold Nathan on his shoulder. "Now start patting his back gently."

'Sigh', Shadow did what he was told. Eventually, Nathan did burp but left some drool and milk bits all over his shoulder. By feeling all of that, Shadow's right eye began to twitch in disgust.

"Oops", Amy said innocently. "I almost forgot to give you a towel so you wouldn't…experience…the mess…all over ya…"

"Just…take him", the infuriated hedgehog gave Nathan to her and went upstairs to take a shower.

"Well, Nathan, I think you got a new hobby", the pink hedgehog giggled at the infant. "Annoying the heck out of Shadow."

* * *

(Meanwhile…)

The black hedgehog was in the shower as he kept scrubbing the same spot where Nathan had puked on him. How much more madness could he take? Why does all of this have to happen now? And why him? Better yet, when will this end?"

"_I swear, as soon as Faker gets back from his vacation, I am going to kick…his…ass!"_ Shadow thought with fury as he scrubbed his shoulder harder.

* * *

LOLOLOLOL! Poor Shadow, getting pulled on again. Yeah, remember when Charmy puked on him? LOLOLOL XD! Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter after a long wait. I REALLY did the best I could. What will happen next? We shall find out next time!


	30. Author's Notice: Leaving Fanfiction

**READ IT! READ IT NOW AND READ IT CLOSELY!**

Hello, this is DangerousRockstar (my username used to be anime2videogames). Yes, I have changed my fanfiction username finally. I can see that I have not been updating on this story lately. However, I have not been on this website in a very, VERY long time. Seriously, I have been very busy with life that I completely forgotten about my fanfics. Hell, I almost forgot my password as I was logging into this website! Anyways, besides this story, I have not been updating on my other fanfics due to many things occurring in my life. Allow me to explain my reasons why I have not been around for a long time and also why I may not return to writing my fanfics anytime soon…

**Reason #1: College**

~Last fall, I was taking 6 classes because I did not have a job at the time, so I was studying…a lot! Spring Semester 2011 was just as busy, even though I took 5 classes this time. Aside from that, I was dealing with so much pressure from my professors and my family members when it comes to college. I'm still trying to figure out whether I should major in the medical field or computers. But for now, I am taking general classes like Math, English, Speech, etc. This fall, I will be taking five more classes. Some of you may be wonder if I need to take that many classes in a semester. At the college I go to, I only need 4 classes (12 credit hors) to be a full time student, but remember, I did not have a job back then, so I guess I am ahead of everyone when it comes to getting all of my credit hours. I need 64 in total, and so far, I have 31 credit hours! Almost half way done with community college! I do wish to complete the list of classes to get into a university, while at the same time, I wish the take things easier on me in terms of the amount of classes I sign up for and to see how many are easy or hard for me. I did make some new friends here and there, and I also tended to hang out with them when I am not busy. So I was pretty much busy with being a college kid. Right now, I am looking up classes for this fall and hopefully, I can raise my grade point average, because it is not as good as I hope it would be…

**Reason #2: Drama, left and right**

~Trust me, in life, there's drama. I had to deal with drama from school (well, stress is a better word) and from home. For some reason, my mom seems to be getting really, REALLY under my skin and I want her to back off for two seconds! Not only that, I have two aunts who are ill, cousins having children at a very young age, and of course, job hunting. So far, last year and this year have not been the easiest years of my life. But hey, what IS an easy year nowadays? Now that it's summer time, I can finally rest my brain from books, tests, and worrying about homework. Praise the lord! Even so, I still have some issues regarding to my family. Yeah, it's mostly family drama, but I'm not going the worst of family drama, honestly. I'm hoping everything will ease up on me and my relatives as time goes by…

**Reason #3: No new ideas have come to me**

~This is common for us here at Fanfiction, but wow, I am really having a hard time to come up with new stories! Even though I have ideas of new stories on my profile, I cannot start writing/typing up the chapters for some reason. Back when I first started writing on this website, I had so many ideas flying in my head, back and forth. But I guess because what has been going on in my life, I have not been able to sit down and come up with new ideas to finish any of my fanfics, or start writing any new ones. I really hate that. However, I am sure I am not the only one going through this right now. Sure a few of my favorite Fanfic authors have discontinued their fics and/or stopped writing them completely in the past, but I am not mad about it. I understand their feelings when it come to dealing with life and abandoning Fanfiction altogether. I guess it's my turn to take that road. Even though none of you guys don't want me to do that, I might have to since well…Hell, I have not been here in almost a year, so, of course, I may have to leave this website for good. I know some of you may have new ideas for my fanfics, but hell, why not just take over from where I left off? That's right; I am auctioning off ALL of my fanfics for those who wish to continue my fanfics. If you have any questions, feel free to let me know.

**Reason #4: Working at two jobs is a pain!**

~Yes, I was finally able to find some summer part-time work for this summer. I work at an amusement park on Saturdays and at a local pool on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Today is Monday, so I am off from work, typing up this important message for you guys. Sure I have three off days, but the other four days are tedious and I have to work my butt off everytime! When I come home, I feel exhausted that I do not want to do anything but to sleep. But I gotta work this summer so I can save up on school and maybe a few videogames and clothes. Same goes with food. Who knows, I may have to find a different job that lasts all year around to pay for school and to have lunch and gas money in my pockets.

**Reason #5: Other distractions**

~All of the other distractions that are taking my time from **Fanfiction** include videogames, anime, preparing for summer vacation, preparing for school, **Youtube**, and of course, hanging out with people. It is what it is.

**Reason #6: I'm getting kind of bored here**

~No, it is not from waiting on new reviews from new people on my stories, but it's just that the entire website is not as entertaining as it used to be. Well, to me at least. Sure I came across a couple of good fanfics here and there, but for the most part, not many seem to interest me. With all of that going on, I tend to wonder why I still have an account here. Hell, can you even delete your accounts on this website? If so, I might as well do that seeing how I have not been updating on my fanfics and that I am getting really bored here. This is not the only website that's putting me to sleep. I am also getting bored with **DeviantArt** and **Facebook**. The only websites that are worth while to me now are **Youtube**, **Newgrounds**, **Google**, **Wikipedia**, and a few others. I'm not saying that this website sucks or anything, but the fact that matter is…I'm just losing my interests in **Fanfiction **altogether. Perhaps it is because I'm maturing and growing up…?

So there you go. Now that I have told many specific reasons to why I have not been updating, then I might as well end this segment by saying, "It's been fun, but I gotta move on." Now like I said earlier, if ANY of you wish to take my fanfics and continue the story for them, you can contact me whenever you have the time. If I take too long to reply, keep in mind that I am working at two jobs right now, so I may not be able to get back with you right away.

In closing, I would like to say thank you all for enjoying this story and many others for as they are and how much they contain, hopefully you'll understand where I am coming from, and of course, take care of yourselves.

(I REALLY hope you all read everything from start to finish, because if I see a review going "NOOOO DON'T GO! I CAN'T LIVE UNLESS YOU CONTINUE THE STORY!" or "THAT'S BULLSHIT! WHHHYYYY?" then I'll just look at your comments and laugh at you. Besides, you can't get everything in your life. You know that, right?)


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